


Battle Scars

by FiliAtYourService



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: BOFA Fix-It, Blind!Fili, M/M, Nobody Dies, Post BoFA, Sappy Dwalin i think, serious injury
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-24
Updated: 2016-06-07
Packaged: 2018-03-19 09:11:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 28
Words: 44,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3604542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiliAtYourService/pseuds/FiliAtYourService
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Balin found the poor dwarfling bleeding in the snow, alone, armor shattered, his injuries grave...</p><p> Now in the aftermath of battle, healing successfully Fili must now cope. Easier said than done, but can he do it by himself? BlindFili! WorriedKili! ProtectiveThorin!</p><p>Full of Durin feels</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**First Hobbit based fanfiction, be nice please. I'm still learning! I had posted this on fanfiction.net too.**

"Oh laddie." came Balin's low whisper as he stumbled upon the seemingly lifeless corpse of the young golden-haired Durin.

The aged dwarf glanced up the hill to where he saw his brother and Bofur still searching among the vast reddened battlefield, littered with the corpses in hopes of finding the three princes who had failed to return back to the gates of Erebor after the battle, along with the half-ling.

Fíli's body was surrounded by a decent sized pool of blood, but not as much as he would have expected if he had been felled by a blade.

It looked as though he fought until his armor had shattered, the whole bottom section plating that once covered his torso, had been snapped clean off. His right leg was broken as well there was no mistaking it.

His face was what made the older dwarf cringe, blood wept from his left eye and flowed freely from the wound down the side of his face onto the hard rock that he lay on.

There was so much blood around the injury that he didn't even need ask to be able to conclude that the lad had lost his vision from that eye.

"Poor lad, you and your brother were much too young to be fighting such a war." Balin spoke, voice grim as the tears gathered in his eyes.

What was he going to tell Thorin?

What was Thorin going to tell Dís?

What was Dís and Thorin to tell Kíli?

_'If the lad hadn't been felled as well.'_ part of his mind argued as he knelt beside Fíli's broken body. 

Deciding to check anyway, Balin closed his eyes to brace himself for the worst as he reached out a hand toward the young dwarf and carefully lifted his head from the stone.

_'So young'_ Balin repeated softly to himself, reaching his other hand to feel for the golden haired princling's neck.

Before his fingers even touched the ghostly pale flesh, the feeling of muscles pulling against the grasp beneath his hand followed by a choked keen distracted him.

The older dwarf turned his attention toward Fíli's face once more, eyes staring in disbelief. He had thought the lad had surely been lost to them.

"K-K... Kil... Kee...?"

Relief washed over Balin in waves, he was about to respond when Fíli's terrified voice beat him to it and he jerked and pulled weakly to try to free his face from his hand.

In his desperate struggles, the young dwarf seemed to have jostled his broken leg causing a pained yelp escape him.

"Lads, I got one of the youngsters!" he called up to Bofur and Dwalin.

His shouting didn't seem to help though, because whilst the two dwarves came hurrying down the slope, Fíli went bonkers.

All at once a hand was clasping around his wrist with a vice like grip, fingers clawing into his flesh. Fíli's other arm came up directing a punch that was pitifully off aim, that he could have just dodged it but instead he grabbed his arm and held it down.

"N-No! Y... Y-Y...You won't … t-take him... from me!" Fíli snarled, voice filled with desperation, fury, and panic.

"Laddie, calm down. It's alri-"

This was when Balin noticed the lad's other eye. It was roving around looking all over the place searching for his attackers.

This is when it hit Balin like a ton of Mithril.

_'He can't see at all.'_

"G-Get... ge'off!" Fíli snarled with growing frustration, head turning to glare at who he assumed was to be him... had he not been facing the opposite direction when he started spitting all the curses in their native tongue that the young dwarf knew.

_'Oh Fíli...'_ Balin thought, sorrow heavy in his head as he tried to think of what would make this situation easier.

"Fíli, Laddie you're alive!" Bofur cried, landing on his knees next to Balin.

Dwalin stood above them staring with horrified eyes as he took in the sight of their situation. Sharing a glance with his brother he concluded the same thing just by watching Fíli try to become aware of what was going on.

_'He's been blinded'_

Meeting his brother's gaze once more he knew that Balin was thinking the same exact thing and a grim expression formed on the large warrior's face.

Fíli seemed to tense upon hearing Bofur's cheery voice, but just as soon the lad went rigid he relaxed calming himself enough to will his struggles to cease.

Balin smiled weakly at the reaction, a happy Bofur was something both the lad and his brother were both familiar with no doubt, the three of them performing random schemes all the time and making Thorin's hair start to gray.

"Bofur? Ki… Kíli … I-is he with y... you? I... I can not... s-see very w-well... at the moment... b-but I-it'll pass... I-is he h-here?" Fíli's raspy voice inquired fearfully.

He gave the blond a weak smile as he ran his fingers through matted hair. Apparently Fíli still figured it was a minor injury, it was going to be so hard for the prince to cope with this... how would he even be able cope with it?

A soft whine snapped the miner out of his thoughts, remembering Fíli's question.

Bofur opened his mouth to reply but paused, glancing up at Balin and Dwalin wondering if they should tell the lad that Kíli hadn't been found yet.

Receiving no response from either of the two, Bofur looked back down at the blinded dwarfling forcing a cheeriness into his voice and facial expression he would be strong for him.

Honestly he saw no need to worry the young prince about his condition, at the moment, so he erased all negativity from his voice the best he could.

"Nay lad, Kíli's not here we're still looking for him and Thorin. I think you need to go see Óin or maybe the elf your brother seems to be so fond of."

"That sounds like a plan, I'll take him." Dwalin announced, stepping forward to kneel beside Bofur and Fíli's battered body.

Upon hearing that, Fíli started to fuss again, his words beginning to slur as he verged on the edge on consciousness. "No... … don' want to... c-coming w'you..."

Bofur barked out a wild laugh at the prince's claim. "Laddie in your condition you'd be trying to tumble back down this here hill, rather than climb up it."

"K-Kee...I... 'ave t-to... make... s-sure e's …. r-right... p-please... " Fíli begged desperately and all three of the dwarves felt their hearts drop when they saw that crystal blue eye that moved about sporadically start to well with tears that soon overflowed his tear ducts.

"Poor lad, yer own wounds are still grave. Ye will not be of any use on the search right now, and ye' shalln't of any if you keep being stubborn." Dwalin spoke voice softer than Bofur thought even possible as he lay a gentle hand on the side of Fíli's face.

Fíli had gone quiet for the most part, bottom lip trembling while he tried to will himself not to weep in front of his companions.

Dwalin's hand finally left the lad's face so he could shift an arm underneath Fíli's shoulders and the other beneath his knees, so he could pick him up.

As soon as the warrior got both arms beneath him, he paused momentarily feeling the sharp tremors that were going through Fíli's shoulders.

Bofur's cheeriness had long since disappeared as soon as the young dwarf started insisting that he needed to find his younger brother.

He himself had a brother and his cousin, both people he'd die to protect, and how broken the lad's voice had sounded he already decided upon something.

The first thing he was going to do when they got back into the halls of Erebor, was to embrace both Bombur and Bifur and thank Mahal that they were still with him.

"Laddie, shh we will find him." Dwalin tried to reassure once more.

This time Bofur about fell on his backside from shock, he shot Balin and incredulous look who just smiled with a twinkle of merriment in his eyes.

Having known Dwalin for so long, sometimes he tended to forget that both Balin and Dwalin helped Thorin and Dís take care of the two ever since they were wee dwarflings.

With those two though, sometimes a four man crew seemed necessary.

"... N- No... I-I 'ave to... see them... need t' k-keep m' ...pro... mise... t-to mum... I-I... I p-promised.. Dwal'n... I- I love them... "

Each keening sob, each sharp inhale, each syllable that came from the dwarf's mouth right now, shook all three to their cores.

Dwalin shifted slightly, a single tear escaped his right eye as he lifted Fíli into his broad arms with one swoop.

The response was immediate as Fíli didn't seem to appreciate this at all, and began pushing at the elder dwarf's body frantically while insisting that he put him down.

"No lad. Ye just have to trust us." Dwalin replied in an even but at the same time firm voice.

"N-No! I... I 'ave t' find my b-brother! Put m'd...own! Please..... d-don't do... this, w-where... are you taking me Dwalin!? "

"Stop making such a fuss, ye'll not live throughout the night if we don't get your injuries treated."

Balin let out a frustrated sigh, leave it to Fíli to make things more difficult.

Though he couldn't really blame the lad, he knew he'd do anything and everything he could if Dwalin's life was at stake.

"Fíli! Hold still laddie, yer aggravating your injuries."

The sobs seemed to increase ten-fold at the statement, and Fíli just shattered.

"T-They ... fell... ... d-didn't they?"

A grim silence took over the small group, none of them knowing how to answer because they didn't want to give the prince false hope.

The silence was all that Fíli needed to begin to start feeling that the meaning of his life had started to vanish.

"U-Uncle ..... he's so dis.. pointed wi' me. I failed... e's goin' 't hate me ... K-Kíli... oh Mahal my little Kee..."

It wasn't before a few tears dripped from his own eyes, that Bofur finally took a step toward the taller dwarf and the once restless burden in his arms, now pathetically limp as he leant against Dwalin's firm chest for some support.

"Aye Fíli, we do not know for certain. Thorin could never hate you laddie, he loves the both of ye' far too much to ever be capable to do so, and that is something we all know." he whispered, his voice hitching abruptly catching both Dwalin and Fíli's attention.

The miner took off his hat and set it down upon Fíli's matted golden head, and smiled as he watched Fíli try to register what just happened without the use of his eyes.

"It is a scary thought though isn't it? Not knowing if your kin are well or if they've been felled by an enemy."

Fíli was quiet, trying to keep his tears at bay.

Bofur's smile widened as he slipped a hand between Dwalin's arm and the back of Fíli's head before pressing his forehead against the young prince's.

"Laddie we'll find them, and you'll be the first to know. I'll deliver the message myself, I give you my word, but first you got to to go get healed so I have someone to deliver the message too. Alright?"

The blond was silent once more, he appeared to be thinking over the words, a small appreciative smile was upon his face at the reassurance of their friend.

Balin's eyes misted a little bit at the sight, even more so when he saw the hint of a devious grin turn upon the corner of Fíli's mouth.

"... eep' y' hat?" he asked, giving a cocky smile.

Balin and Dwalin chuckled at this, remembering how often Fíli and Kíli were always snatching the toy maker's hat and how irritated he'd get.

A wide cheery grin shot to Bofur's face. "Aye, but you have to give it back when we return."

Fíli nodded pressing the hat down over his head tightly in triumph, he suddenly realized how heavy his eyes felt.

"Alright, off ye go lads." Balin's old voice sounded.

"I'll send Nori back to help with the search." Dwalin stated as he turned to his brother once more.

Balin him a brief nod of acknowledgment and with that Bofur and Balin started to walk through the blood-staiend plains once more while Dwalin made his way back towards Erebor whilst carrying his burden.

_'Durin's beard Thorin, ye and the lad better be alive.'_


	2. Chapter 2

Cerulean blue eyes slowly fluttered open and immediately the King suddenly noticed how much pain he was in.

"Mahal." he cursed quietly.

Thorin's head was pounding relentlessly, as he looked around the battlefield.

_'Battlefield?'_ his mind rang, confusion taking over slightly as he realized the fighting had stopped.

Everywhere there were corpses that littered the plains staining the hard stone crimson.

The battle had ended?

Images flashed through his head as everything came back to him, Azog had him on his knees before him for his injuries had been getting the better of him and he hadn't the strength left in him.

The pale orc had been getting ready to deliver his final strike when Fili had come out of no where to intervene.

He had collapsed from both exhaustion and his injuries, too weak to get up, helpless to do anything to aid his nephew as he watched his heir fight.

Fili had fought so bravely and fiercely, against Azog. At one point his blade had pierced straight through the pale orc's bicep and out the other side.

That was when Azog had roared with ferocity and swung his mace with a force that had broken Fili's dominant arm when it had come down upon it.

His nephew had stumbled back crying out in pain, his sword dropped and that was what had ended the fight, for Azog hadn't given him even a second to recompose, he swung the heavy chain of his mace one last time and it connected with the left side of Fili's head straight across his face.

The blow had thrown the young dwarf who had landed not even a foot away from where he himself lay, Fili hit the ground, his good arm clutching at his face and he was screaming in sheer agony.

**~Flashback~**

**_Thorin grunted in pain as Azog's hand tangled itself in his mass of hair, pulling upwards so that he was forced to get on his knees before the orc._ **

**_"You thought you could defeat me Oakenshield, I told you that your head is what I sought.'_ **

**_Azog smiled a horrid toothy grin before he placed the blade of Thorin's sword against the dwarf's neck._ **

**_His glare never left the orcs face but the King wouldn't deny to himself that he was scared, but he would not give Azog that satisfaction._ **

**_The orc raised his arm and started to swing when a small mass barreled into his side, Azog was knocked sideways upon the impact his hand releasing Thorin's hair causing the King to collapse to the hard stone._ **

**_He blinked trying to register what just happened glancing at Azog who was turning back towards him, leather boots suddenly stepped in front of his line of view as the person stood protectively in front of him._ **

**_Thorin let his eyes wander upwards, and was both surprised and not at the same time, when he saw Fili standing above him staring challengingly at Azog._ **

**_"Fili..."_ **

**_Fili disregarded him and instead broadened his stance, as he stared defiantly at the large orc._ **

**_"You will go no further." the young dwarf stated firmly raising his sword up to point it at Azog._ **

**_"No Fili!" Thorin protested, struggling to push himself up to his hands and knees._ **

**_"More filth from the line of Durin."_ **

**_Fili said nothing but instead braced himself as Azog came running at him with his mace raised._ **

**_Thorin cringed, despairing what was to come, the sound of Fili's sword clashed against the heavy steel, he could see their shadows above him as Fili used all his strength to push the orc backwards._ **

**_The sound of clanging steel seemed to never end..._ **

****_~XXX~_

**_Thorin watched with horrified eyes as Fili was thrown through the air as if he weighed nothing, the crimson that shown so visibly on his armor and flesh was more than worrisome._ **

**_"No... Fili..."_ **

**_A loud thud sounded and Thorin's eyes focused on his blond haired nephew's body. He was erriely silent for a couple seconds before a sudden shrill and agonized scream tore from Fili's throat._ **

**_Thorin couldn't exactly see what had happened he could have sworn the mace hit the side of his nephew's head, but the sight of Fili clawing at his own face was one Thorin Oakenshield would never in this or in any other lifetime forget._ **

**_His screams were like a searing knife sheering his heart into ribbons, and with much difficulty he started to try to shift his body so that he could close the small distance to where Fili lay._ **

**_It took a couple moments but the older dwarf managed to crawl beside Fili and placed a trembling hand over the lad's blond locks._ **

**_"Fi... li...?"_ **

**_He didn't even look at him, nor did his screams cease._ **

**_"I'll start with this one." Azog's voice said from above them, Thorin watched as the orc's pale arm darted down to catch his heir by the throat, lifting him up off the ground._ **

**_Fili was swearing in Khuzdul every foul name that he knew of whilst struggling to get free, and the smirk that had formed on Azog's face when he threw the young dwarf over the side of the cliff was one that would forever haunt the King's nightmares._ **

**_"Nooo! Filii!"_ **

**~End Flash back~**

Azog hadn't even given him a chance, he had stalked over to his agonized heir, picked him up by the throat and just hurled him over the cliff where he had disappeared from sight completely.

Of course leave it to Kili to always be not even paces behind his brother because he showed up once and-

_'Wait... Kili! Oh Mahal where is Kili!?'_ Thorin's mind screamed, glancing around his eyes passed Azog's corpse and his eyes widened considerably.

The blade sticking out between the orc's shoulder blades straight through his body and pinning in to the ground, he knew that blade.

_'Kili...'_

Kili had done it!

_'But where was he?'_

He let his eyes scan some more before he wearily force himself to his hands and knees with a bit of effort.

His body screamed at him to cease his movements and lay back down but he couldn't, he had to find his sister son and make sure he was alright.

It took a few moments but he managed to reach his sword where it had fallen and from there he was able to use the weapon as a crutch.

Blue eyes wandered about some more searching desperately for any signs of the young dwarfling only to discover none.

Thorin glanced back at Azog and studied his corpse, the final blow had been delivered from behind but the position of the blade seemed off, the Gundabad orc was much taller than most dwarves, Kili and himself included. Yet the blade had gone straight through his back and pinned him to the stone.

Either Kili had stood above the orc when he killed him, or he had thrown the blade.

Scanning the area some more Thorin's blood went cold when he suddenly spotted the large bleeding lifeless mass of Azog's white warg, but more so some of the gold plating that had been discarded before it and the blood trail that led away from the beast.

It looked like someone had dragged themselves out from underneath the vicious animal.

The king shifted his eyes to follow the blood but he didn't need to spot him himself because a loud pained groan sounded and his location was already given to him.

Sure enough there he was, laying in front of a broken pillar his back turned to him. It looked like he had tried to use the pillar to try to support his weight so he could get back up but it hadn't worked.

With as much speed as possible due to his own injuries, Thorin made his way over to where the young dwarf lay.

"Someone... h-help..."

His dark hair was tangled in several places, and actually it looked like a large section of it had been shorn just inches from the scalp, sweat covered his body and his armor for the most part was gone.

"... please..."

Kili's broken exhausted voice snapped him back to reality and he dropped his sword allowing himself to fall before his injured nephew.

A panicked yelp erupted from Kili's throat, upon hearing the iron blade clatter upon the stone he tried to flip over onto his back to see who had approached, but stopped when the action proved to worsen his pain.

"No! G-Get ba-"

Thorin gently placed a calloused hand upon the dwarf's head, fingers running through the wild dark hair.

"Kili..."

Kili's body relaxed immediately, "Uncle... Th...Thorin...?"

A small smile graced the king's face and he eased the young dwarf onto his back as gently as he could.

Kili's left shoulder was the first noticeable injury, likely one of the severe ones. Gouge marks littered the flesh, deep gaping marks that bled profusely. Likely courtesy of Azog's warg.

Despite the long slash across his face, his heart throbbed painfully when a wide grin spread upon Kili's face.

That contagious goofy smile, Thorin couldn't even stop the smile that formed on his own face.

"Uncle... I... I-I did it... F-Fili... h-he's going t-to be so... s-so jealous... hehe..." the young dwarf exclaimed with a small chuckle.

A lump formed in Thorin's throat at the mention of his fallen nephew.

_'What do I tell him...? His mother... this was not supposed to happen.'_

Kili saw the smile fade from Thorin's face and dread started to fill his gut.

"Thorin...?" he asked, his voice held nothing but fear and uncertainty.

He wasn't sure if he wanted his uncle to explain, but at the same time he wanted him to.

At the sound of Kili's scared desperate voice, tears started to well up in his eyes and when he met his nephew's pleading brown eyes they quickly rolled down his cheeks.

The look of hurt that appeared on Kili's face was enough to make his heart stop.

"N-No... please..." the young dwarf begged his voice sounding completely broken, his tears already coming forth.

"Oh my little Kili..." Thorin whispered gathering the dwarfling into his arms, bringing holding him close as the lad tried to take it in.

"Thorin!" A loud voice called, catching the dwarf's attention.

Looking up he saw Bofur, Nori, and Balin wandering the ruined plains no doubt looking for him and Kili.

"It's... i-it's a lie... F-Fee... he c-could...couldn't... can...not..."

"Here!"

The three dwarves quickly turned their heads toward his shout, spotting them immediately.

"Thorin! Kili!" Bofur cried running full speed over to the two Durin, Nori and Balin treading behind him.

Balin looked down upon his king and the young heir a grim look upon his face, he wondered if Thorin knew.

He got his answer from Thoirn himself when he spoke.

"You'll need to send a party over the hill." Thorin's hesitant command sounded, he wouldn't say why but the emotion in his eyes gave it all away.

_'He expects us to find his body.'_

Balin placed a gentle hand upon Thorin's shoulder.

"Fili has already been taken back to Erebor, his injuries were grave and you must prepare yourself Thorin for he is going to need you there to help him through this, both of you."

Thorin's gaze remained on the smaller dwarf that was shaking in his arms for a moment before blue eyes darted up to look at his old friend. "He lives...?"

Balin gave him a weak smile, and an affirmative nod.

"Aye, Dwalin took him back to Óin already."


	3. Chapter 3

The old dwarf waited silently for a response from their king patiently, and finally Thorin nodded solemnly before he turned back to address Kili, only to find the lad had already fallen unconscious in his arms.

The king sat there for a moment, staring at Kili's face covered in blood, sweat, and filth.

"By my beard." Nori's voice sounded.

All three of the dwarves looked up to find Nori standing before the corpse of Azog the Defiler.

None of them had even seen it they were so eager to find the two Durin.

Bofur wandered over beside Nori with a look of awe upon his face, his hand running over the hilt of Kili's sword.

"Kili...?"

A smirk tugged at Thorin's lips "Aye."

"Laddie put up quite a fight then?" Nori asked, but it sounded more of a statement.

"They both did, Fili fought so bravely and Kili charged in not even moments after Fili..." Thorin trailed off, a worried look forming within his eyes once more.

"Balin, how bad is he?"

All three went quiet, Bofur shuffled nervously and Nori cleared his throat in the dead silence.

"The lad had several visible injuries Thorin, but his vision may be lost to him."

Thorin blanched, his mouth going dry as a horrid feeling of dread overwhelmed him.

"Perhaps it would be a wise idea to keep this information from Kili until we know for certain?" Balin suggested.

The king took a quick glance down at the dwarfling again, running his fingers through his hair once more before he tried to hoist himself to his feet with Kili only to stumble back onto his knees.

"Here lad." Bofur's cheery voice offered as the wild looking dwarf knelt before him. "I'll take him."

Thorin gave a nod of appreciation as he let the former miner take his nephew from his arms.

Nori approached them having grabbed Kili's sword from Azog's corpse and tying it to his hip so they wouldn't lose it, he offered a hand down to the king who accepted it.

**~ Erebor ~**

"Ge' off me!" Fili's panicked voice cut through the tense silence that had been in the room only seconds before.

He was confused, one minute he was sleeping the next he was awoken to pain shooting through his skull when an injury was prodded, or he thought that was what happened.

The pain was too real to possibly be a dream, he had to be awake he knew he was conscious but he still couldn't see anything.

Not quite understanding what was going on he tried to shove at his attacker with his good arm only for it to be grabbed tightly and held down to the mattress on which he lay.

"Easy lad. Ye're alright. Hold still."

'That's Dwalin...' Fili thought quietly.

The young dwarf relaxed a bit and lay there silently, honestly he was too exhausted to do much.

"What do you think Oin?" Dwalin's voice cut through the now quiet room.

Oin glanced over toward the larger dwarf and gave a grim smile.

"I won't know until I inspect his injuries. His facial wounds are what is ailing me, I need to clean those wounds first. Would you get him a glass of water Dwalin?" Oin inquired, giving Dwalin an uneasy stare.

Dwalin swallowed, he knew that glance and what it often meant.

"Aye." the warrior replied before exiting the room.

Oin turned to the young dwarrow once more before addressing him.

"Fili?"

Fili's ears perked a little bit as he tried to locate where exactly Oin was at.

"Fili, I need you to tell me of any injuries that are causing you the most pain."

"Un...cle... an'... K-Kee?" the blond replied quietly.

"No laddie, you. They will come, I need you to tell me what hurts."

The dwarf was silent for a while before he spoke. "H-Head... um... leg... ah... I think my chest 'urts..."

"What about your face?" Oin inquired delicately, he wanted to be sure he worded things carefully because he didn't need Fili going into a panic until after he could inspect the injury.

Vision to his left eye was lost, he could already tell there was nothing he could do for that.

However that wasn't was was causing his vision to fade from his right, the wound wasn't even close to it. His first thought had been possibly infection had spread, but as far as he could tell infection hadn't even set in.

So it was something else.

Fili went quiet again, and Dwalin returned into the room around this time.

"K-Kili... I want t'see Kili... h...have they foun' … him?" his words slurred.

Oin sighed, "Fili, does your face hurt at all?"

Dwalin set a cup of water down beside Oin's tools on the table and stepped back to give the dwarf his space to work if he needed it.

"Aye..." Fili finally confirmed.

Oin nodded and turned to Dwalin. "Will you assist me in getting his armor and clothing off."

"Oin!" a desperate voice echoed as Bofur came running in carrying and unconscious Kili in his arms.

"Durin's beard." Dwalin muttered upon seeing all the blood that covered the small form.

His armor was completely gone, chest, leg, shoulder, everything.

Nori came in not moments afterward, supporting Thorin who was putting most of his weight on the shorter dwarf.

Thorin's eyes caught sight of his heir lying on the bed, pale, beaten, bloody, his knees shook briefly and he realized that Balin was right he should have prepared himself.

Fili's attention was quickly diverted at the sound of Bofur's voice, his head turned as he tried to pinpoint the older dwarf with his hearing rather than his lacking sight.

Thorin's face blanched, realizing that Fili couldn't even see a thing.

_'That's both a good and a bad thing at the moment.'_

"Bofur... Thorin... K-Kee... did... d'you find them?" he asked quietly..

Bofur was about to reply when Thorin threw his weight off of Nori and started to stumble toward the bed, he looked angry and because of that everyone went silent.

Upon not receiving an answer Fili's breath hitched as the worst was already being feared.

"N... No..." the young dwarf whimpered.

When he had spoke it was such a broken, empty noise, and it immediately caused silent tears started down the king's face, he couldn't believe the state Fili was in.

Balin whispered something to both Bofur and Nori who nodded, in what looked like agreement.

Then Bofur carried Kili from the room so they could get a separate room for Kili, Nori followed not far behind him, and the old dwarf approached his brother and Oin.

Speaking quietly for a few moments, Dwalin's eyes went wide in both relief and shock before he hurried out of the room after Nori and Bofur so he could check on Kili.

Both the elder dwarrow observed both Fili and their king for a moment before deciding to give them some privacy.

After assuming everyone had left, Fili broke down into a mess of hysterical sobs, covering his mouth with one hand and pulling blond locks with the other.

He couldn't help but let out a startled cry when he suddenly felt a calloused hand upon his cheek, a fist swung out and hit the unknown visitor in the gut eliciting a grunt of discomfort before it was grabbed in one strong hand.

Fili struggled briefly but he hadn't the strength left to do anything more than cry as he submitted.

He felt weak and pathetic.

_'I couldn't even protect my little brother, how could I let this happen. I have shamed my families name. Thorin will never forgive me.'_

Fingers tucked blond waves behind his ear and the press of a forehead against his own made him recoil slightly before he leaned into the touch, his body trembling with emotion as he tried to hold tears back.

Thorin's heart felt like it was being broken repeatedly this day, and finally he wrapped his arms around the young heir.

Fili clung to him as if his life depended on it, and Thorin could feel that small body convulse against his chest as he ran his fingers through his sister-son's golden hair, his own tears dripped into the matted curls and disappeared.

Thorin knew that the words he spoke next would have an immediate impact on the young prince, and that is why he was going to say them aloud.

"Oh Fili, my brave... brave Fili... it's okay to cry."


	4. Chapter 4

**Previously**

_Thorin's heart felt like it was being broken over and over again as he finally wrapped his arms around the young heir._

_Fili clung to him as if his life depended on it, and Thorin could feel that small body convulse against his chest as he ran his fingers through his blond sister-son's golden hair, his own tears dripped into the matted curls and disappeared._

_Thorin knew that the words he spoke next would have an immediate impact on the young prince, and that is why he was gÓing to say them aloud._

_"Oh Fili, my brave... brave Fili... it's okay to cry."_

**Current**

His uncle's gentle reassuring voice is what made the young dwarf crack, loud keening sobs escaped his throat as he buried his face into the furs on Thorin's armor.

"Un... cle... ., wh... ere is ... K-Kee? ... I-I tried t-to pro...tect h-him ... I swear..."

"I know, and I am so proud of you."

"Lad, Fili is going to be alright." Thorin whispered tears choking his own voice.

Fili stiffened in his hold for a moment before a reluctant grin spread across his face briefly.

He tried to sniff back his tears and calm himself enough so he could speak again.

"Un-Uncle."

Thorin glanced down at the younger dwarf curiously and let out a soft noise from the back of his throat indicating for the golden haired prince to continue.

"I-I'm Fili..."

An aggravated groan followed as Thorin pinched the bridge of his nose with two fingers.

The corner of Fili's mouth twitched into a small smirk, allowing himself to relax a bit at the thought that his little brother was safe, even if his uncle did confirm it with the wrong names... again.

"Of course you are." Thorin responded softly, the king couldn't even help the slight hint of amusement that had seeped into his voice, it was reassuring that the lad still had his sense of humor, or well some of it.

Correcting him for getting him and his brother mixed up was one of the many quirks Fili loved to show whenever he had the opportunity.

"But where's -"

"Kili is fine Fili, he's unconscious Óin is tending to him down the corridor in a separate room."

Fili immediately tried to pull free from Thorin's embrace, but his uncle would not let go if anything he tightened his grip on him.

 _'Kili needs me! Let go of me! Thorin let go!'_ Fili's mind screamed furiously.

A small growl escaped the golden haired dwarf as he started to squirm restlessly, but Thorin's hold on him strengthened once more, and the squirming soon turning into a pitiful excuse for what would normally be a fierce struggle.

"Le'go... uncle!" he snarled.

Thorin didn't respond, but instead he placed one hand on the back of Fili's head and pulled his head to rest against his shoulder, a couple tears dripped off the dwarf king's face at the motion.

The older dwarf knew more than anyone, how agonizing it is to watch or receive the news of a loved one being felled, as should the boy's mother.

Frerin's death had been too soon, and it took both him and Dis quite some time to move on, Thorin more so.

He knew Fili was worried, and that keeping him from his brother was putting his already traumatized sister-son through further pain and misery, but he could not have the risk of Kili finding out.

_'Not right now at least, when the time is right.'_

Plus even if Kili wouldn't be fussing like a mother hen over his brother constantly in the way of Óin as he persisted to stay be Fili's side, Fili would be.

He could picture the lad trying to get to his feet and attempting to navigate blindly in desperation to find his little brother and make sure he was okay, because Fili would sacrifice everything in a heartbeat if it meant Kili's safety.

 _'And that's just what he's done.'_ Thorin realized suddenly.

Another furious cry bellowed from Fili's throat as his body thrashed against him, trying everything he could think of to try to get free, but in his weakened state nothing had much effect on the older Durin.

Fili was growing more and more frustrated by the second, he could feel his strength leaving him.

He could feel his throat swell up and he tried to hold back his tears once more, he was tired of crying. Hadn't he cried enough?

"Pl...ease... uncle... l-let go... "

Thorin continued to remain silent, keeping his tight hold on the boy he let the hand on Fili's head run through his matted hair soothingly.

"I-I... am sorry. ... Mahal, ... I-I... tried... I-I tried so .. so h-hard. U-Uncle I ... I tr-tried! ... I- I ne...need t'see h-him." Fili suddenly blurted out, his struggles roaring to life once more and Thorin found himself wincing when he got a knee pressed firmly against his lower stomach, just shy of his groin.

He bit his lip trying to keep his composure, tightening his grip on Fili once more, this time using his legs to help still his wild movements.

"Aye I know you did lad, I know you did, and I have never been so proud of you and yet so ashamed of myself."

Fili's went completely rigid in his arms, his face slowly lifted to look up at him as if hoping he could still see.

Thorin inwardly winced as he saw the wounds up close, but from the reaction he had received the words had clearly shocked his nephew greatly.

"A-Ashamed?" Fili stuttered.

"Aye, I have asked far too much from you Fili and yet you gave me so much more than what I asked for."

"B-But I... I-I d'not!" he cried in frustration.

"Fili You protected your brother, you stood by my side, you defended our honor and our home, you stood up for the half-ling when no one else would, defied and fought me in order to keep me from making a horrible mistake, even when the blows laid upon yourself."

A small whine forced free from the younger dwarf's lips at the memory, it was one he wanted to forget sooner rather than later.

"... but the most impressive of all, is that you were willing to sacrifice your own life in order to save a fool."

Tears renewed themselves from Fili's right eye as they trickled down his cheek, and the dwarf jumped slightly when he felt his uncle wipe them away.

"A foolish king who was too blind to see what exactly I had asked from not only you and your brother, but so many others. A king who does not deserve forgiveness from any of you, especially from you." Thorin finished, tucking some blond hair behind Fili's ear before touching their foreheads together.

"My brave, strong, loyal Fili. My boy, I love you and your brother so."

The words seemed to hit home for the younger dwarf as he just collapsed against the king's chest and for the second time that day, shattered into a million pieces.

Loud heart-wrenching sobs were the first thing that the small Hobbit heard when he came limping into the room beside Ori who was cradling a wrist, and Bifur and Bombur were pacing after them not even moments later, trying to get their attention that the king would want privacy but realized they were too late.

The sight that he met when he found the source for the cries were more than a little unnatural for the dwarf king, though not as much when he saw the how banged up Fili was.

"Oh no... "

The small voice beside him got Bilbo's attention as he glanced over at Ori, the small dwarf had tears gathering in his eyes and an involuntary squeak escaped as he took in the morbid image before him.

"... n-not Fili..." the youngest son of Ri whimpered softly.

Thorin's blue eyes raised to glance at the four warriors, yes he said four, the half-ling had more than proved himself to be worthy of the title by now and it was about time he admitted it.

'Bilbo... I have been so foolish. I am ashamed that you call me your friend, when I have put you through so much.' Thorin's mind reminded himself silently.

"What... what happened?" Bilbo asked hesitantly, his hand fidgeting with the thing he's always messing with in his pocket.

Thorin let out a tired sigh, too exhausted to be angry about the intrusion.

"Master Baggins, I would like you to return here later tonight after the sun has fallen. I have some things that I would like to say. For now though, I believe Dwalin would have the answers you are looking for, or at least some of them. I would like to be alone with him for a while longer."

Bilbo nodded and grabbed Ori's hand tugging him along since Ori was still in somewhat a state of shock.

_'Thorin's voice was so calm, yet so lifeless, and that has to definitely not be a good sign. I wonder if Kili was found yet.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we are, good lord so much angst in this story already.


	5. Chapter 5

“Lad took quite a beating.” Óin commented, noting the injuries already in plain view as Dwalin and Bofur removed Kili's tunic.

Kili's torso glistened with sweat, whilst dirt and blood caked his abnormally pale skin. 

“That he did. I still cannot believe that it was Kili's blade that felled Azog.” the toymaker breathed.

Dwalin's eyes shot up to stare at the other dwarf, wondering if he'd heard correctly.

“W-What?” 

“It's almost something ya would laugh about at first isn't it?” Nori replied. 

Bofur chuckled at the look of disbelief that still remained in Dwalin's eyes as they set Kili back down upon the bed.

“I'm sure he'll be okay. Don't worry.” a soft voice reassured.

The dwarves looked toward the door as the half-ling and Ori came strolling into the room.

Ori had tears strolling down his cheeks and the Hobbit looked distressed as he limped along beside him with a hand on his back trying console the younger dwarf.

Nori's face softened immensely as he wandered over toward his brother, grumbling as he had to jump out of the way of being run over by Bofur when he sprinted toward the two as well. 

“Bilbo!” Bofur exclaimed rushing over to the Hobbit and scooping him up off his feet, into a wild hug. 

A smile lit up on Bilbo's face as he returned the hug.

“We thought the worst! Are you alright?” 

“Yes I'm quite al-aahh!” Bilbo let out a small yelp as the dwarf set him back down on the ground putting a bit too much pressure on his injured leg. 

Bofur's eyes widened in alarm, “I'm sorry laddie!” 

Bilbo smiled weakly, “Don't fret, I think it's just a sprain.” 

“Óin'll have it fixed up don't worry.” the toymaker grinned.

“How does he look Óin?” Balin asked as the dwarf inspected his patient.

The well-aged dwarf carefully lifted Kili's left arm to rest above his head so he could inspect the prince's side. 

“I can already point out several broken ribs, and his shoulder is obviously concerning. Bofur, could you boil me some water?” Óin requested quietly. 

“Aye.” the miner replied, walking Bilbo over to a chair so he could sit down before trotting off. 

The older dwarf tugged at the young prince's trousers a bit, noticing the blackened bruising and swelling, residing upon his right hip. 

He reached out and prodded at the obviously tender skin.

The response he got was enough to confirm his suspicions, when Kili's body jerked, he let out a groan of pain followed by a small whimper and he seemed to shift his position in discomfort.

“Looks like a fractured hip, he shalln't be walking any time soon. Laddie will not be pleased about that.” 

Dwalin let out a groan as he glanced to his brother, “It appears we shall be babysitting.”

Balin chuckled in response to his brother's statement, knowing what a handful both the lads could be when they wanted out of bed even if they were told to stay there. 

_'That also sounds like a certain King of ours.'_

“Other than that, it appears to be shallow blade wounds that will heal in time. The one that ails me the most is his shoulder.” 

“But he will be alright?” Thorin's deep voice inquired.

Everyone's eyes shot up to the king as he entered the room, heavy boots resounding upon the stone as taking his time with a heavy limp.

Dwalin brushed past his brother and over to Thorin, swinging one of his arms over his own shoulders so he could help him along. 

“Yes, I should think so.” Óin replied, giving the king a questioning glance.

At that moment Bofur wandered back into the room with a basin of water he had heated rather quickly and set it down beside the bed.

“Fili's asleep, he has exhausted himself.” Thorin stated, watching the older dwarf dipped a rag into the warm water to dab against the large cut that marred across Kili's face.

Óin nodded in response, and a tense silence plagued the room while their healer continued to clean the young prince's injuries.

Finally he stood up and started to approach his king whom, Dwalin had by now gotten into a different chair in the room and was standing beside him speaking quietly.

Óin started to inspect Thorin's injuries when the dwarf stopped him with a gentle voice, “I fair, I'm more concerned about Fili. Is there anything you can do for him, his sight?” 

The dwarf swallowed hesitantly, but none the less he replied with a heavy sigh.

“I'm not sure laddie. I will try my best.” 

Thorin nodded in acknowledgement, though the troubled look still remained upon his dirt covered face.

“My king are you sure you don't need to be looked at?” Óin asked suspiciously. 

“Aye, of that I am certain. If you will tend to Bilbo and master Ori, I would very much like it if you could go see what you can do for my sister-son.” 

The Hobbit's head snapped toward the dwarf king's direction at the mention of his name, rather than 'Master Hobbit' or 'Master Burgler' or most recently 'The Hobbit' he met Thorin's eyes and the dwarf sent a gentle smile in response. 

A sudden wave of fatigue swam over Thorin's head and he visibly grabbed onto Dwalin's arm tugging roughly catching the bigger dwarf's attention. 

“Dwalin, mayhaps you could assist me to my chambers so I can rest?” 

Dwalin nodded in response before hoisting the king to his feet, and taking his place by his side allowing the tired warrior to lean against him as they left the room. 

There was a tense silence after the two removed themselves from the infirmary while Óin tended to Ori, then finally he moved to Bilbo and even then it was quiet until finally Ori's loud sobs diverted all the attention.

Nori's eyes softened at first then widened in a mixture of relief and horror at the sound of Dori's voice. 

“Ori! There you are!” and then seemingly out of nowhere their older brother was there snuggling the smaller dwarf into his arms, tears visible on his aged face.

“Oh Dori, they look awful!” Ori sobbed softly, accepting his brother's embrace while Nori tried to quietly sneak away from the two only to be grabbed by the back of his tunic by Dori, and be squished into the hug as well.

Listening to Dori start whispering reassurances to Ori, while at the same time watching Nori 'drown' in the tight family embrace trying so hard to escape, the other three dwarfs, plus the one hobbit, watched the exchange with mixed emotions. 

Bofur leaned over next to Bilbo and started to whisper into his ear.

“I do not know whether to laugh or cry, which one seems appropriate for this scene?” he asked, his voice completely serious but one could tell he was actually extremely amused just by looking into his brown eyes.

The Hobbit turned to him with an appalled look upon his face, because in truth none of it was funny! Fili could be dying, Kili was mortally injured, and the sight of this upset the young dwarf.

However, then he took another glance at Nori trying to claw his way out of the family hug, and he couldn't help but crack a smile, which caused Bofur to smile, and then they both ended up trying to stifle giggles. 

Nori finally stopped struggling against the hug and just stood there with the most god-awful grumpy face that Bofur had ever seen, and he cracked. 

Loud fits of laughter escaped the dwarf as he fell to the floor clutching his sides laughing.

Bilbo tried to continue being 'respectful' with the situation, trying to not show that he was amused by biting his lip, he gave him a good tap in the side with his uninjured foot to try to snap him out of it, but as soon as his foot made contact the dwarf rolled onto his other side and his laughs intensified. 

The three brother's had since stopped hugging and Nori looked like he was a monster from Mordor with that nasty look he was giving the laughing dwarf.

“Did I miss a joke?” Óin asked, looking for his trumpet. 

That was where Bilbo cracked and he started laughing as well, causing Nori to look about confused because it clearly wasn't just Bofur being an arse if the Hobbit was laughing too. 

“What in Mordor's name is so funny!?” he growled. 

Before anyone could reply a loud terrified scream followed by frantic movement from Kili's bed halted any arguments that would have arose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long! Let me know what you guys think!!
> 
> Emily


	6. Chapter 6

“Are ya sure yer' alright Thorin?” Dwalin asked as they stepped into a room lit only by a single torch from earlier when he and his own brother had been speaking privately. 

“I am just in need of some rest Dwalin, but I am far from alright.” Thorin's weary voice replied as the other dwarf helped him onto the rickety old bed, cobwebs covered the bed posts yet. 

Dwalin stood by his bedside quietly for a few moments before he couldn't even stop the question from leaving him.

“What happened Thorin?” he honestly couldn't understand how Kili out of all of them was the one who felled Azog and perhaps Thorin could explain it to him. 

Thorin's blue eyes turned to meet the other's, a tired sigh escaped his throat. “It seemed like hours that we fought.” 

“Ye and Azog?”

There was a brief silence before he received the confirmed response from his king.

“Aye, it was ruthless, exhausting, and that fucking warg kept knocking me over. It was not my wounds that gave me issues, more so weariness Dwalin.”

Thorin paused for a moment as fatigue suddenly became more noticeable for the older injured dwarf. 

“I should be dead.” 

“Ah, don't say that laddi-”

“No.... I should be, Azog was about to take my head off.... when Fili..” 

Dwalin saw that the king was struggling to keep his eyes open so he stopped him there. 

“Laddie, ya can tell us the rest later. Yer' about out as it is.” 

There was a decent wait before Thorin's eyelids fluttered back open as he responded, “You'll.... wake me if anything happens?”

“Aye, that I will.” 

Thorin was out moments after he spoke so the dwarf took his leave, and quietly closed the door. 

_'Perhaps I should go check on Fili.'_ the dwarf pondered.

Deciding that Kili had enough of an audience Dwalin started to make his way down the various corridors he and Thorin had traveled down. 

As he was heading to the east wing which was where the rooms the boys were occupying were found, he looked over one of the banisters that was cast above the front entrance. 

He paused upon seeing Bard and the elf-maiden, the one that Kili seemed to fancy, standing by the door waiting patiently, in an awkward silence.

 _'Could they not wait until they were healed to send for negotiations!?'_ Dwalin fumed, eyes narrowing.

“If yer here to talk to my King, ye' might as well turn back. He's been wounded and he needs to rest.”

Bard opened his mouth to speak but he was cut off by Dwalin's intensifying gaze when he started to speak again.

“Neither of the princes are in any state for negotiations -”

“I'm not here for negotiations.” Bard's blunt reply interrupted.

The dwarf still didn't see anything that the man could be here for besides the treasury, so he remained cautious, before glancing at the elf-maiden. 

“And ye' lass?” he inquired with a frown.

“I'm not here for Thranduil if that is what you are concerned about.” 

Dwalin gave a curt nod before shifting his attention back to the dragon slayer, then averted it to the corridor when he heard the heavy booted footsteps echoing through the hall. 

Balin appeared around the corner and spotted him immediately making his way over to where he stood.

“Brother? I was sent to find... Is everything alright? ” he asked trailing off as he noted his brother's distraction.

Dwalin glanced back down at their audience before giving a hesitant reply, “Aye.” 

Finally Balin closed the distance between them and followed his brother's gaze, looking down over the balcony at the two guests. 

“Ah, I see we have company. Good evening lassie, and to you Master Bard, or I suppose properly Bard the Dragon Slayer?” Balin greeted with a nod of acknowledgment.

Tauriel gave Balin a weak smile before speaking. “It is, although it could be better. Though we should make the most of what we can as it is.” 

Dwalin let out a small huff, while Balin smiled sadly knowing she meant the carnage and destruction that was everywhere outside these walls.

“Aye. You are the elf-maiden who saved prince Kili from the orc wound if I am not mistaken? What brings you here lass?” he asked, descending the stairs so that he could greet the two.

“Yes, I am Tauriel. As for my business here, I actually was wishing to speak to you master dwarf.” 

Dwalin tensed upon hearing this, instantly glaring at the silvan elf who seemed to have business with his older brother.

“Why do ye need to speak with him? If ye'r planning something I assure ye that ye'r going to be in pieces!” 

Balin held up a hand to quiet his brother's outburst. “Dwalin you speak with Master Bard, I will go elsewhere to hear what lady Tauriel has to say. I think it is only fair considering young Kili would be lost were it not for her descion to help us.”

Dwalin again let out a huff before turning back to the bowman, watching his brother leave with the elf out of the corner of his eye. 

Balin led Tauriel to the library he had grabbed a torch as they were walking down the corridor, which he used to light the other torches on the wall giving the room at leaast a bit of light. 

Tauriel looked around the dust and cob-web infested room, it was extremely spacious and furniture was strewn about several of the book cases toppled over leaving old dust covered books upon the floor. 

_'It's hard to believe that this is a royal library.... they will be rebuilding and cleaning this castle for weeks... months even.' she thought to herself._

A warm humored chuckle snapped her out of her daze.

“Aye, this place is going to need lots of work to get it how it used to be.” 

“Apologies, I just find it hard to believe that this was once a library, or at least a royal library.” she stated, hoping that the dwarf didn't find the phrase offending.

To her surprise this brought a laugh from the short man, “If I hadn't seen it for myself, I think I would agree with you lass.”

Tauriel smiled in response and things grew quiet once more. 

“Something troubles you. What can I do for you lass?” the dwarf asked sincerely. 

“How fair's your king?” she asked, noting the twinkle in Balin's eyes as he started to realize why exactly she was there.

 _'By my beard Fili was right, the lass does love Kili it isn't one sided.'_ he thought, he was catching on rather quickly.

“Thorin's injuries are yet unknown, he ordered that the princes be taken care of first. In the mean time our king is resting.” 

The elf shifted slightly, her attention seemed to focus completely on the topic now.

“How are they?” 

“Kili fought Azog to the death, and walked out with several scars to tell it later on. He has a broken hip and will be bed ridden until it heals. Might take an army to keep him there as it is.” he explained giving a chuckle as he said the last part.

Tauriel raised her eyebrows at this, a bit confused. “An army?” 

“Aye, lad can be as stubborn as his uncle, and he hates being pitied. If he wants out of bed he'll do whatever it takes to get out of bed. Sometimes he would have his brother help him escape only to be dragged back.” 

The elf smiled warmly at trying to picture Kili actually plotting with Fili or trying to bribe him into getting him out of resting.

“And Fili?”

Balin's eyes became sad as Fili was brought back to his mind. 

“Fili was gravely injured, the full extent of his wounds are not clear as of yet. However, we do know that the lad has lost his vision.” 

Tauriel couldn't help the look of surprise that forced itself upon her face, she had expected some wounds but being blinded was not supposed to be one of them.

“Will he be alright? Maybe, I could be of assistance?”

The dwarf looked up at her, he couldn't help but be a little surprised by the generous offer from the elf-maiden. 

“You... would help him? What about your king, I'm certain he wouldn't want you healing his potential enemies?”

She smiled sadly at the dwarf, “He is no longer my king, I have been banished for treason. I see no reason not too, I know he means everything to Kili.” 

“Ah, I see, I'm sorry lass...” 

He thought to himself for a moment, before curiosity started to get the best of him.

“Do you suppose you could help with some of his blindness?” 

Tauriel pondered for a moment, before she replied.

“I am not certain, I would have to see the wound first.” 

“Aye, come with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think! I'm still debating on pairings!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Khuzdul corrected.

Balin had left to go get Dwalin almost five minutes ago and still hadn't returned. 

“Mahal's beard! How long does it take to go send someone a message!” Bofur exclaimed clutching the flailing body close to his chest.

Nori opened his mouth to reply but stopped himself to duck underneath Kili's arm when the lad struck out at him in pure desperation. 

“Lads stop ye' yapping and hold 'im still.” Óin snapped irritably. 

With a bit of help from Dori, who did his best to make sure the panicking young dwarrow didn't jostle his fractured hip any more than possible, Óin finally managed to get up close to look into Kili's eyes which were blown wide and his pupils dilated. 

Sweat was starting to bead upon his near nude body, and a grim feeling started to settle in the healer's gut.

“He's feverish. That ails me greatly....”

“But you've dealt with fevered patients before Óin.” Ori piped up.

The older dwarf remained silent, clearly in thought.

“What's the matter? What aren't you telling us?” Bilbo asked, unable to stand the silence.

“Aye, I have, but it usually takes longer for a fever to set in...” the older dwarf muttered softly, Kili's struggles seemed to lessen gradually as they spoke.

“Bilbo, ye' suppose ya could find Dwalin? Since Balin seems to be taking his time.” 

“Sure.” Bilbo replied quickly about to leave the room. 

“Not one more step Mister Baggins!” Óin's firm voice stopped him. 

“What?” 

“Sit ye'self back down laddie. You should not be on that foot too much.” Óin replied, before glancing at his brother who had walked into the room not even ten minues ago.

“Would ye' like ta find out what's keeping Balin and Dwalin, brother?” 

“Aye, I can do that.” Gloin replied, quickly taking his leave.

Kili's body had gone rigid in Bofur's arms, and Óin gave them a nod to let them know that they could release him. 

He didn't seem to even notice them at this point, but his body started to tremble and he let out a small pitiful groan, eyes roving aimlessly around the room.

“Kili?” Bofur tried, hoping to get his attention by placing a hand on the side of his face, pulling the sweaty locks that clung to his face away. 

It didn't have the effect that he'd hoped for because his gaze settled in between Óin and himself.

Óin glanced over his shoulder to see nothing and he let out a weary sigh, knowing the lad was showing some pretty unsettling symptoms.

 **“Fili, nadad e kall...”** Kili whimpered, wide fearful eyes staring past Óin's head. 

Bilbo looked around alarmed, that was the first time he'd ever heard the young dwarf speak in their native tongue which actually unnerved him a bit, for some reason. 

“What did he say?” 

“He told Fili that he's cold.” Bofur replied, Bilbo could see the deep concern that shone in the dwarf's eyes. 

“But Fili's not even here....” 

“Nay, so that's not a good sign.” 

“Aye Kili, I know you feel cold.” the healer responded, glancing up at Dori who was sitting with his youngest brother beside the window. 

“Get me some blankets, and a basin of tepid water?” he asked.

Dori hurried to go retrieve the requested materials and Ori slowly approached the group. 

Bofur was absentmindedly running his fingers through Kili's hair, trying to offer what little comfort he could think of given this situation. 

The older dwarf knew from experience that when you're sick to the point that you're hallucinating and seeing things, people that aren't there it's not only confusing but by Durin it is one of the most terrifying experiences, especially if you've been wounded already.

**“F-Fee.... e kall.”**

Bofur's attention was caught once more when he felt a warm wetness on his hand.

“Oh Kili, lad don't cry, 'tis alright.” 

~XXX~

Balin led Tauriel down the corridor towards the room Fili had been occupying, he prayed that the lad had not yet awakened, because he was not quite sure what he would find if the he had. 

Once they stepped into the room Tauriel easily spotted the small body laying on top of a rickety bed.

Quietly they made their way over to the edge of the bed and Balin had to say he was surprised by how peaceful the lad looked, especially with the wounds likely still causing him discomfort while he slept.

Fili stirred slightly, hearing Balin's heavy booted footsteps and a soft groan escaped him. 

“Fili.” Balin called to him softly, hoping to rouse him from sleep. 

It seemed to work, in fact it worked so well that the young dwarf jerked awake and nearly fell off the bed had Balin not grabbed him and kept him from rolling off the bed.

“Easy laddie. You're still wounded.”

Fili's face turned to face the older dwarf, one eye swollen and with dried blood around the damaged eye, and the other one roving all about not knowing where to look. 

The elf blinked, taking in the damage from what she heard had been Azog's mace if the stories of Fili clashing with the beast were accurate. The spikes on the mace had struck out Fili's left eye, a clean puncture through the socket thankfully it hadn't gone deep enough that it killed the young dwarf.

Tauriel's lips pursed together in focus, trying to determine what exactly was causing the blindness to his right eye.

The dwarf was having trouble with his balance as he tried to sit up, he was reaching around for something anything to help him get leverage to pull himself upward, hesitantly Balin reached a hand down allowing Fili to grab onto it and pull himself into a sitting position.

Even then the prince seemed to be having trouble, he started to tip to the left a little bit and on instinct he clutched at Balin's arm again, this time just holding onto it in case he started to get dizzy again.

“Balin..? Kili! Kili..... is -” the prince's desperate voice started only for Balin to cut him off.

“Is resting Fili. You'll be able to see him soon.”

Fili licked at his chapped lips briefly, and Balin could tell the lad was trying to remain calm. 

“How... how is he?”

“Lad's doing a lot better, you needn't worry.” 

There was a tense silence until finally Balin broke it, “Fili lady Tauriel, would like to examine your injuries.” 

“The she elf that Kili's star struck over?” Fili couldn't help but ask confused.

Tauriel couldn't stop the soft laugh that escaped herself, “Yes master dwarf. I want to see if I can do anything for your impaired vision.”

Fili chewed on his bottom lip, clearly still trying to debate whether or whether not he could trust the elf maiden, but finally he gave a reluctant nod.  
“Good lad.” 

Tauriel gently grabbed hold of the dwarf's chin and the violent flinch seemed to surprise her greatly because she automatically withdrew her hands.

“At ease laddie she needs to inspect the wound.”

When Fili turned his head to face Balin's direction Tauriel saw the cause along the right side of his head, there was a large blood matted section that she could see was the source for some still light blood flow, from a hit to the head.

_'Perhaps I can do something that can help him over time.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew sorry this took so long!!
> 
> You guys really keep me going! I love you guys!
> 
> I'm just going to say sheepishly right now that the part where Kili was 'speaking dwarfish' yes I am going to admit I may have gotten that completely wrong! I've been trying lessons from the dwarven scholar's dictionaries but man oh man it is extremely difficult. As I had Bofur explain, Kili was telling Fili that he felt cold.
> 
> If anyone else is doing that sort of stuff I could really use a study buddy!
> 
> Until next time guys!!


	8. Chapter 8

“There.” Tauriel said aloud, cutting the tense silence that had hung in the air.

Balin turned his attention to her, had she figured out what the source of the blindness was already? 

He knew the elf folk were supposed to be good with their medical prowess-es but he hadn't expected her to figure it out quite that soon.

She gestured toward a still bleeding wound on the lad's head, wouldn't be spotted at all had his golden hair not been stained red.

Fili felt the mattress dip, and he assumed that Tauriel must have sat down on the edge of the bed so she could get a closer look. 

He visibly jumped and a small squeak escaped him when he felt the elf's long bony fingers in his hair, trying to part to see where the blood was coming from.

“I-I... that's... hey!” he stuttered to find his voice as his cheeks flushed a light shade of pink, hands releasing their hold on the older dwarf's forearm and shooting up to swat her hands away.

Tauriel again pulled her hands away this time looking genuinely confused, and Balin's soft chuckle turned to a moderate fit of laughter.

“I don't understand.”

Her comment went ignored after Balin settled himself once more, Fili again grasped at his arm when he felt another wave of dizziness that almost made him fall backwards. 

“Laddie she needs to see to your wound, nothing more-.” 

“Prince Fili, your hair is in the way.” the elf explained with a roll of her eyes.

Fili's cheeks flushed a darker tint of scarlet, but he gave a reluctant nod and lowered his hands to let her continue.

The elf sent a questioning glance at Balin who simply smiled and told her he'd explain the dilemma to her later. “Please, prince is strange, just Fili." the blond squeaked.

Tauriel resumed her task, leaning in for a better look as she tried to part matted golden tresses aside so she could get to the injury that was causing such a mess. 

After a couple moments of tense silence, she decided to try to ease the tension because it was smothering.

“I never realized how thick a dwarf's hair is. I can not help but note young Fili, that unlike your brother, you and your King sport plaits in your hair.” 

Fili's cheeks darkened again, but he cleared his throat before he responded. 

"Yes?”

“Would the reason Kili lacks the plaiting be because braiding is too much of a hassle?” she asked, humor laced into her tone and he could tell she was trying to make this seem not awkward, even though she didn't understand why it was awkward for him in the first place.

_'Mahal's fucking royal ass ponies! Elves know nothing of dwarves!'_

“That is exactly why, my lady. That and the fact that the lazy oaf can not even take two minutes to brush his hair. Kili looks good when he has his hair plaited too, the maidens line up more than usual when he does.” he explained, voice losing a bit of its edge as he ranted about his biggest pet peeve when it came to his brother.

Balin sent the elf maiden a polite smile grateful for the distraction, and she couldn't help but return it when Fili started talking again.

“The only time he will actually get his hair braided is when Thorin finally has enough, gives him the 'Heir of Durin' talk for the umpteenth time, and tell him to either let me braid his hair or he'll do it himself after he knocks the fire right out of him.”

Tauriel tried not to laugh, and barely managed to keep her laughter contained to small giggles at the thought of Kili being so childish. 

There was another awkward silence for a moment, before Fili realized he much rather enjoyed the conversation instead of silence given the situation.

“Our father fell in the Battle of Azanulbizar with uncle Frerin, Mum and Uncle's brother. Kili was too young to remember him, but I remember bits and pieces. After the loses Thorin saw it his responsibility to help mum with us. So Kili and I were raised by the two of them, he lived with us and made sure we did what we were supposed to. He kinda turned into our father figure.” 

Balin decided to comment then. “Aye, even though most of the time ye didn't.” 

Fili's gave a smug grin in response. “Aye we were always in trouble- 

"Still always in trouble." Balin chuckled quietly.

Fili let out an irritated snort at the claim, "There was this one time, I believe it was the second to last winter before our quest began. Kili hadn't brushed his hair in four months-”

Tauriel's fingers stopped moving and her mouth dropped open in shock, “Four months?” 

Fili smirked, “Aye, four months and the fool's done much worse than that!” he barked with a laugh.

Tauriel shook her head, starting to get back to her task as the dwarf continued to speak.

“So uncle Thorin had a difficult day at the smith's and ended up staying late. By the time he got home, mum had gone to bed, but me and Kili decided to stay up for him so we spent time by the hearth gambling, and aye we had been drinking.” 

“I had I think three by the time Thorin showed up, but Kili the oaf never could limit himself if he is having fun, I lost count of how many ale's he had poured himself. So Thorin, walks in the door and of course he has been working from dusk to well past twilight, he is hungry, he is tired, and he is crabby!” 

Balin gave Fili a disapproving look at the comment, “Fili, lad.” 

“I found it.” Tauriel said quickly, finally she got to it. 

“Let me see.” Balin replied quickly moving so he could take a look. 

Among all the blood there was a spot where a large puncture mark had been made, it looked more from rock than weapon.

“I heard he was thrown? It looks like he hit his head on the way down.” she told the dwarf. 

“That could very well be lass. Do you want me to get Master Óin?” 

“No that isn't necessary, but do you think you could get me some water and a something to clean it with Balin?” 

“Aye that I can, I shall be back shortly. Fili, laddie can you manage alright?” He asked, referring to the dwarfling being able to sit up by himself. 

Fili went quiet for a moment thinking, he was about to respond when Tauriel cut him off.

“He can lay down if he needs to. It might be easier for me to clean it like that actually.” 

Balin nodded his thanks and trotted out the door.

The silence returned so Fili continued with his story, now glad that he didn't have to be completely censor it.

“Aye. So Thorin walks into the house and finds us sitting by the mantel and Kili is completely wasted, he was swaying as he sat and was being undeniably obnoxious. Thorin took one look at him and he just snapped! Started roaring at Kili to do something with his hair!” he cried gesturing wildly.

Tauriel smiled at that, she had to admit Fili certainly had a knack for retelling tales.

Suddenly Fili puffed up his chest and did his best Thorin impression as he recalled the argument. 

“Kili! You lazy little twit! Just because you are 'the spare heir' as you seem to call yourself, that does not mean you can march around looking like an elf who has a bad hair day! You reckless boy, do something with that hair at once! You are a Son of Durin, not a troll!” he growled out, gesturing dramatically as he did so.

The elf maiden blinked for a moment, trying to comprehend the 'elf with a bad hair day' part before her amused smile grew a bit.

“And Kili! Oh Mahal Kili was so drunk, he was so very, very drunk, that he started mouthing off to him! He told uncle that he..... would not mind looking like an elf with a bad hair day because …. haha.... normally even if an elf has a bad hair-day it was still probably very attractive!” 

The two of them both burst out into a fit of laughter, though Fili's laugh made him cough in between at times. 

It took a moment but the young dwarf was able to continue, holding his side with the broken rib tenderly. Then he puffed his chest up again with a wince and switched his voice back to mocking Thorin's.

“You stupid lad! You know nothing of the world! You have never even seen an elf! I will not have my sister-son looking like a peasant!”

The dwarf tossed his head back letting wild curls bounce a bit from the motion, and took a moment to stifle his giggles so he could finish telling the story.

“And Kili tells him that 'we were all still peasants! He must have forgotten he was still holding his ale because when he swung his arm forward he completely doused uncle in ale! Uncle blew up, he beat that dwarf into next week.... haha... then he dragged him to his study and bound him to his chair so he could work on that mess of hair himself! The best part was, mum had woken up too! She walked out and asked me what was going on, I looked up from my cards and said hair, only hair apparently that was the only word she needed, because she turned around and walked back into her room, closed the door and went back to bed!” 

Fili roared with laughter at the memory, and by this point so was the elf-maiden. 

“H-He called your line peasants?!” she questioned between fits of giggles. 

“Aye! He … was s-so …ha.. .. drunk!” he cackled.

They sat for a moment laughing and trying to get their giggles under control and pretty soon they sat in silence again.

Suddenly Tauriel started to think back to the little fit Fili had thrown at first when she had to touch his hair. 

_'It must be some sort of culture thing, the way he reacted hints at that.'_

She was going to ignore the impulse to ask, but finally curiosity got the better of her.

"Fili?" she asked

"Yes my lady?" Fili asked, slowly lowering himself back down on the bed so he could lay down. 

"Tauriel." she corrected with a weak smile.

"Oh, aye sorry. Yes Tauriel?" 

"I was wondering if you could explain to me why you got flustered when I started to part your hair? I already guess that it deals with some sort of dwarven custom, does it not?" she questioned.

There was that blush again, Fili swallowed and cleared his throat. "Aye. It does, very much so."

"Would you explain to me what it means?" 

Fili cleared his throat again, licking at his chapped lips briefly. "It is a custom that my people have, most practice it, but some do not. Dwarrow men, do not let anyone fix their hair besides family members, especially a women. Only one woman can fix your hair."

Tauriel blinked, she was starting to understand now. 

"Courting? It's a symbol of courting then?"

"Aye. Much different from your traditions I assume?" he stated, cheeks still tinted that light pink that was slowly fading.

"I am afraid so _mellon_." 

The young dwarf scrunched up his nose at the word, before repeating it back to her. "Mellon?"

"Yes, it is the elven word for friend." she replied with a smile. 

"Oh." The door burst open and Fili yelped at the sudden loud noise, body jerking as he started.

“Fili! Oh laddie you're awake!” a deep voice rumbled. 

Fili knew that voice though, it was his cousin Glóin, before he could open his mouth he was pulled into a gentle embrace, which he returned the best he could. 

“I am. Is.... there anything.... you can tell me about Kee?” 

Glóin paused, and Tauriel turned her attention to the door as Balin entered the room with the water she had requested.

“Not yet laddie.” Glóin whispered softly. 

Fili just nodded his solemnly in response, suddenly Glóin was scolding Balin addressing that he had been supposed to go retrieve Dwalin now because they had a situation.

Immediately Fili's head snapped up and Balin sent a death glare at his cousin, knowing that now it was going to be difficult to handle both the lads.

“Glóin you fool.” Balin muttered softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we go! Chapter 8! 
> 
> I thought we needed to see some more Fili so there a chapter with mostly Fili yapping nervously. 
> 
> Hope you like it! 
> 
> I have decided that Tauriel and Kili will be friends, and that goes for Fili and Tauriel too. So just giving you guys a heads up!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin talks some sense into his Highness. XD

Thorin let out a small growl as he was suddenly awakened from his slumber.

 _'How long have I been asleep?'_

Something wasn't right.

He let his eyes wander about for a moment and quickly spotted Dwalin sitting in a chair beside his bed head bowed as he slept quietly, there were dark circles under the dwarf's eyes. 

Thorin shifted in bed, trying to will the strength to get up and with a bit of a struggle he was able to sit up.

As the blankets fell from his chest, he now realized that someone had taken his armor off and he was down to nothing but his small clothes, some of the blood and dirt from the battle had been cleaned from his body.

_'That must have been Dwalin, he knows I do not trust many.'_

Then he noticed that his own wounds hadn't even been messed with yet, and a feeling of dread suddenly filled him as that could only mean one of two things.

Either Óin was not yet done with Fili, or Óin was not done with Kili.

His thoughts were everywhere when Dwalin's gruff voice interrupted them, “My King.”

Thorin carefully turned to look at him. “Dwalin, how long have I been asleep?”

“Eight-hours, the sun is setting now. I am glad yer awake laddie. I hope ye don' mind that I removed yer armor, I didn' want ye to get a crick in yer back lad.” 

“Aye, thank you Dwalin. You look like you've been to Mordor and back. You are tied?”

Dwalin let out a small huff, before he nodded. “Aye, the lads are not fairing too well.” 

The king's eyes widened slightly, before he took a deep breath and decided to question before he panicked.

“What happened? Óin said Kili was doing fine.”

“Aye, he was, but lad's been struck with fever and Óin hasn't been able t' leave 'is side for even a moment.” 

Thorin swallowed thickly as he took in his friend's words, and he finally nodded. 

“And Fili?”

Dwalin let out an exhausted sigh, he knew Thorin wasn't going to like what he was going to hear next.

“Fili... lad's been sedated twice since ye've been resting.” 

Blue eyes narrowed slightly, there was more to it than that he could see it on Dwalin's face.

“Is he in pain?” 

“No...”

Dwalin was in thought trying to think of how to break the fact that Balin had gotten an elf of all people to help them, even if it did work to a degree.

“Dwalin? What are you keeping from me? If he is not in extreme pain, why has he been sedated?” 

“Poor lad got worked up, there was a slip of his brother's condition and e's tryin' to get to Kili every time he gains his consciousness again. Lad will not settle down.” 

“How in Durin's name did he find out?” 

The bigger dwarf let out another sigh, deciding to break it to him bluntly. 

“Lord Bard of Laketown and the she-elf Tauriel had come to inquire how ye' and the lads fair. They had heard of your fight with Azog and that the three of ye' were wounded.”

“They were here?” Thorin's eyes lifted in surprise.

“Aye, I had thought they be here for negotiations at first. Though that didn't seem ta be the case.”

Thorin was silent, but he nodded to tell Dwalin to continue.

“Balin had come looking for me when he saw our visitors, the she-elf had asked to speak with him privately. Even though I had objected to the idea, Balin spoke wit' her elsewhere while I spoke t' Lord Bard.”

_'She wanted to speak with Balin? Why would he have to offer her?'_

Then it hit him. 

_'Kili.'_

“When I was able to go after them, I found Bifur and Glóin trying t'hold the lad down, he was swearing up a storm in-between demanding that he see Kili. Balin was trying to get him to breathe in some of Óin's sedative concoction or whatever 'ts called. The she-elf was standing silently in the room out of the way. I finally stepped in and managed to hold him enough that they were able to complete the task.” 

_'Why was an elf in the same room as my injured nephew!?'_

“Apparently Balin had brought the she-elf to search for the wound that is causing the blindness in Fili's other eye. Surprisingly she managed to find it, and she thought she could do something for the injury.” 

Thorin's eyes narrowed in anger, blue eyes igniting with a cold fire that burned into Dwalin so deep he was actually becoming uneasy in his friend's presence.

“ **Mekmâ lalâkh!** What were you thinking? Letting one of those traitors inside these walls! You knew I would have that elf thrown over the ramparts before I were to ever let her step foot in the halls of our fathers!” his deep voice bellowed.

Dwalin's brow furrowed at the words being directed at him, especially when the stubborn dwarf should be more concerned with his heir's well-being than fussing over an elf being within Erebor.

“We were thinking of your nephews Thorin!” he shouted defensively. 

Thorin fell silent, it was so unlike Dwalin to raise his voice against him.

Dwalin took a deep breath and willed himself to calm before lowering his voice once more.

“Thorin, My King. Yer sister-son has lost 'is sight. The lad's life has changed, in just the course of one day, many things have been taken from him. Aye, if there was any chance that we could fix that damage, Balin would 'ave taken it, with or without yer consent, as would I.”

When he failed to get a response from his king, he continued speaking.

“The lass was able to do some of 'er elf crap after 'e fell unconscious. She told us that the enchantment should hopefully repair the damage in his right eye in time. There is a fifty percent chance tha' he might restore vision within it someday, when she cannot say.” 

“We do not need an elf's-” Thorin started but he was cut off by Dwalin's angry shouts.

“Durin's beard Thorin! If there is nothing we can do for him, then Fili is not the only one 'ose life will've been affected by this either!” 

“Fili will be fine, he can learn to cope, he has jumped many an obstacle before, we can make it work.” Thorin snapped defensively.

Dwalin rose abruptly from his seat and Thorin's challenging eyes followed, never breaking eye contact.

“Thorin, ye stubborn dwarf! This be a completely different obstacle lad. If 'e chooses t' remain a warrior, it will be years before he can do so. In both our years we've seen how blindness takes its toll on folk. Simple things, are going to be difficult for 'im!”

Thorin remained silent, but a scowl was upon his face.

“Fili is terrified Thorin! The lad tries to hide it from us, but we can see right through him! Fili loves ye' Thorin, as does Kili! They both need ya now more than ever! Have ya even thought about what yer going t'tell Dís?!”

The angry look slowly dissipated from Thorin's features and a look of guilt and deep sorrow replaced it.

He honestly hadn't even thought of his sister yet, and Dwalin was right everything had changed. 

“Dwalin, would you send a raven to Dís in the Blue Mountains? You needn't tell her what's happened to her sons, I shall take that task upon myself. Just that the mountain has been reclaimed and that I'd like to see her as soon as it can be made possible.” he spoke softly.

Dwalin gave the king a sympathetic look, “Aye, as you wish My King.” 

Thorin sent him a weak smile and opened his mouth to respond when Bilbo came rushing through the door panting heavily. 

Both the dwarves eyed the Hobbit curiously for a moment as Bilbo tried to catch his breath.

“Dwalin, Óin sent me to fetch you, he needs help with Kili and – oh! Thorin you're awake …. ahh um... wait! Thorin wait, where on earth are you going?!” Bilbo stuttered as the dwarf had already swung his legs out of bed, grabbed a robe to slip on over his mostly nude body, and was stumbling out the door, despite both of their protests.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, we gotta love Thorin's A+ parenting right?
> 
> Mekmâ lalâkh! - You fools
> 
> As I mentioned before, I'm still learning Dwarvish from the Dwarrow Scholar so I might be wrong! From what I understand this is what it'd look like with Thorin addressing the entire group involved but voicing it to one person. LIKE I SAID I HAVE A FEELING I AM VERY WRONG!!!! If anyone knows if I am or not, please let me know!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Kili and Thorin one on one time! Yayy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ATTENTION!!! 
> 
> Since there is a bit of delirious Kili, Khuzdul in this chapter! I am putting the translations at the top ahead of time!! I have a feeling I fail horribly at piecing the language together too, but I'm still studying and going back to edit them as I learn. So if anyone has any tips! I'd be more than happy to hear them if I got something wrong!
> 
> All Khuzdul help and translations is credited to:
> 
> The Dwarrow Scholar - https://dwarrowscholar.wordpress.com/khuzdul/documents-dictionaries/  
> and  
> Midgardsmal - http://midgardsmal.com/
> 
> TRANSLATIONS
> 
> **Last Edit: May 11th, 2015 (Switched Thorin's lines to Khuzdul I need to have them translate yet when I posted the chapter)**
> 
> FIXED: Nadad, e kall - Brother, I'm cold  
> irak'adad - Uncle  
> Fu' ya targzu - Up with your beard. (Haha what beard!?!) But no he's telling him to cheer up.  
> Kulhu targ, irak’adad? - What bead uncle?  
> Men gajamu - I'm sorry  
> Kulhu Durin’s akhrum? - What in Durin's name for?  
> Ma shândi? - I do not understand  
> Zanag bakarsu - You fought bravely  
> Kud tâti? - What is it?  
> Ithmir b’tîr! - Get away from there  
> Urus - Fire  
> Rasup men - I am fine  
> Nadad - Brother  
> 'amad - Mother?  
> Itkit - Be quiet you (basically shut up)  
> Fili akyul - Fili lives  
> Men lananubukhs menu - I love you  
> Nê kikûn inthir - Never forget

Bofur let out a grunt as he tried to hold on tightly to flailing arms, trying to ease Kili's body back down upon his bed.

The poor dwarfling's skin was hot to the touch! 

Balin returned with some ice water and placed the cold rag he'd put in the basin with it, over Kili's forehead.

" **Nadad, e kall.** "

“Aye laddie, I know you're cold.” spoke calmly in a soothing voice.

“Thorin wait!” they heard a cry from down the hall.

“By Durin, please tell me he has not forced himself up already.” Balin muttered to Bofur who shrugged.

Of course their answer was shown when Thorin came striding into the room in nothing but a long robe over his small clothes, his limp a lot less noticeable.

The moment Thorin saw Kili in such a sorry state he froze in his tracks a look of awe had struck his features.

Bilbo and Dwalin who had come in not even paces after him, glanced about everyone nervously.

“Óin finally was able to go check on Fili, I've been taking care of him til his return.” Balin explained.

“Thank you.” 

Kili's ears perked at the sound of his uncles baritone-like voice, and he stilled his movements, causing Bofur to hesitantly release him.

“Thorin... **irak'adad?** ”

Thorin's eyebrows furrowed at this, Kili rarely used Khuzdul, even when it was influenced by both he and his sister, the last time he would fluently speak Khuzdul was six years after his father was slain.

Not that it mattered, they all spoke Westron as well.

The only times Kili would actually use Khuzdul these days, was if he was angry, or quite often if he was being smug to someone who wasn't dwarrow, men for example.

“He's been speaking our mother tongue since the fever set in, Óin says his head is fine. It should pass.” Bofur explained quickly, having guessed that the king was thinking about Bifur for a moment. 

He didn't blame the older dwarf for jumping to that horrendous thought really, Bifur's accident was hard on both Bombur and himself. Thorin had also witnessed how much they had suffered because of the injury that had not only impaired Bifur's mentality but his speech as well.

 _'Well impaired his Westron, I guess you could put it that way since he just spoke our native tongue.'_ the miner reminded himself silently.

Thorin let out a relieved sigh as he approached the bed where his restless nephew lay. 

“Dismissed.” he addressed the group as he sat down in the chair by Kili's bedside.

Everyone cleared out and left Thorin and Kili alone for some privacy.

Thorin let out a small sigh, as he reached a hand down to pull sweaty strands of hair out of his nephew's face.

He could see tears shining in those big brown eyes, which were red and puffy as it was.

_'Oh Kili.'_

Placing a hand against the lad's forehead, Thorin pulled back immediately. 

_'He is scorching! This is one hell of a fever.'_

Kili's hand came up to grasp his wrist again, but he didn't pull his hand free of the uncomfortably hot skin, instead he just stared at his nephew's face. 

Looking at the lad now, Thorin felt like the wee dwarfling he helped raise had returned and was staring at him with those big brown pleading eyes and that perfect pouty face he learned could get him out of trouble.

He had always loved and hated that look, he hated it the most when it was the same face he always wore if he was scared, or hurt. 

It always felt like a personal blow when the lad used that face on him to get out of trouble, even though truth is all kids do it at some point. 

Focusing back to the situation at hand, he ran a hand through Kili's hair when he spotted two clear droplet trickling down his bruised face.

" **Fu' ya targzu.** " he spoke softly, offering the young dwarf a reassuring smile.

 **“Kulhu targ, irak’adad?”** the dwarfling replied with a small frown. 

Thorin chuckled softly at the sarcastic questioning of his beard in response to his words of wisdom.

" **Men gajamu ...** " Kili replied, a hard sob escaping erupting from his throat.

Thorin frowned again, he was not expecting that, **“Kulhu Durin’s akhrum?”**

Kili felt miserable, his brother was dead because of him, how could Thorin even question his guilt!? " **M- Ma shândi?** "

The older dwarf swallowed, fighting back the urge to cry himself, instead he steeled his features as he pondered over his nephew's behavior. 

Then it hit him.

 _'Has no one told him his brother is still alive yet? With him in this state one would have thought they'd crack just by seeing how pitiful the lad appeared right now!'_

“Kili, **zanag bakarsu.** ” 

His question was answered when he heard the lad whimper softly. “Fili... ”

With Kili in this condition, it was less likely he'd fight tooth and nail to try to get to his brother anyways.

Opening his mouth to speak, Thorin paused abruptly when he realized Kili's eyes were shifting nervously, from him to something behind his shoulder.

He hadn't heard anyone come in.

Quickly the king stood up from his chair, turning around bracing himself if need be, only to let out a small noise of surprise when he discovered no one was there.

Blue eyes wandered back towards the dwarfling when he heard a distressed whimper.

"Kili. **Kud tâti?** " 

Kili shook his head frantically, eyes watching something not there cross the room, his breath was starting to pick up into frantic panic resembling pattern. 

“Th-Thorin!” Firm hands were upon his wrist again, squeezing tightly when the archer started to cry out in alarm, his eyes full of a wildness that Thorin normally saw from Fili. " **Ithmir b’tîr!** " 

Thorin slumped back into his chair, realizing that his sister-son was hallucinating. 

“Oh lad.” he spoke gently, a calmness unusual even for Thorin.

" **Urus...** " 

He let out a sigh, reaching a hand down to wipe some more tears away. 

_'Fire? What? Smaug is dead. What in Durin's name is-”_

Thorin's thoughts halted abruptly, when he spotted the gleam of one of the torches that illuminated the room.

Taking a moment to think, Thorin stood up from his chair and approached it, grabbing a wet cloth as he did so.

Kili let out a distressed sound and shifted on his side earning a small mewl of pain as his fractured hip groaned in protest to the movement.

Before he could quite register what happened, the lights went out and he was left in almost complete darkness were it not for the torches around the corner of the hallway.

 _'Where did uncle go...?'_

His eyes were yet adjusting to the light and hands were suddenly on his shoulders causing him to swallow nervously.

“T-Thorin?” 

**“Rasup men.”** came his uncle's soothing response, grabbing the damp cloth from his nephew's forehead to ring it out to replace it again.

There was a ten-second pause before Kili was already talking again. **“Nadad?”**

 _'Always a chatterbox. Both good and bad.'_

**“'amad?”**

Thorin huffed, having heard quite enough. **“Itkit!”** he spat sharply.

Kili fell silent, but the tears still flowed silently, Thorin felt weary all the sudden.

The older dwarf leaned over the bed, and placed both hands in his sister-son's chestnut hair. 

**“Kili... Fili akyul.** ” he whispered, bringing their foreheads together as he spoke. 

He felt Kili's body shutter under his touch, and his heart throbbed painfully. 

At the news the young dwarf started to cry softly, body shaking from the sobs that would occasionally become audible. 

_'How could they not tell him? He's so broken and terrified, even Dis would have caved.!'_

Two shaking arms reached up, snaking around his sides to grip his shoulders, trying to pull him down into a hug, except for the fact that he couldn't even budge his uncle in this condition.

He risked looking into Kili's face, and by the name of Durin he wishe he hadn't! 

_'There are those eyes again, my boy what am I going to do with you?'_

Thorin felt his heart just go to mush seeing that pout, as it had so many times before.

He gathered the youngest prince into his arms, being mindful of his hip as he held his sweaty feverish body against him securely. 

Kili just latched onto him and cried, he honestly didn't know what to think. He had thought Fili dead, why didn't any one say anything!?

“Shh lad, everything will be fine, in time it'll all be set right again.” Thorin reassured as he listened to his nephew's agonized sobs. 

**“Men... lananubukhs.... m-menu....”** he barely heard the lad choke out, between mewling cries. 

A warm smile graced Thorin's features and he tightened his embrace, kissing Kili's temple briefly before he whispered into his ear.

**“Men lananubukhs menu.”** he paused for a moment before he added, " **Nê kikûn inthir!** "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's that. THE END OF A CHAPTER FULL OF KHUZDUL omg I'm not doing this again. Kili you're magically cured now yes! 
> 
> I used quite a few phrases from midgardsmal, basically because I was a lazy ass this chapter and the DwarrowScholars dictionary omg! I've spent at least two hours on it every day and I still feel sooo terribly bad at piecing things together from scratch, THANKFULLY GOOD NEWS IS I FINALLY GOT A STUDY BUDDY!!!! So we'll fix that right away. 
> 
> I think I spent six hours straight trying to find the verb / noun tenses because I wanted to say other things, but I just couldn't get it! And I'm impatient so I'm going to be posting an update later on as to when I get this chapter updated. So we might have a jump back later!
> 
> Or more I'll be coming back to this chapter and fixing all this later!
> 
> OMG Sick Kili is just too adoreable! Jeezus why do I do this to myself?
> 
> Now, back to Rekindle!
> 
> **EDIT: May 11th, 2015**
> 
> I edited this chapter's Khuzdul and switched some of Thorin's lines to Khuzdul. I had to wait to get them translated before.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh for the love of Durin!

Dwalin, Bilbo, and Bofur made their way down the corridor near the east side of the castle. 

Both Balin and Dwalin taking care of Erebor while the three Sons of Durin were re-cooperating. 

They finally agreed with Óin, that perhaps moving Fili closer to Thorin's master chambers was not a bad idea.

The reason they had been reluctant to do so in the first place was due to the bedroom that Kili was occupying was two corridors down.

Tauriel had treated his head wounds which they were thankful for any chance of the lad restoring any vision. She had also treated his broken leg, she wasn't able to fix it completely but she was able to mend the bones so that he could at least walk on it.

She had also cautioned the two of them to try to keep him off it as much as possible because the bones were going to be fragile until they healed completely.

This was another factor as to why Fili was still pretty much clear on the other side of the castle.

Basically to be blunt they and hadn't yet decided if they were going to move him or not, because they had not wanted him to try to get out of bed to find Kili should something happen and he to overhear it.

“Are you absolutely certain that this is a wise idea?” Bilbo piped up as he and Bofur followed, lagging behind a little bit.

“Aye, that way we won't have ta walk clear across the castle in order to check on the three of em. I think Thorin will appreciate him being closer t' him as well.” 

They turned around the corner into the next corridor before coming to stand outside the open doorway about half-way down the hall. 

Dwalin poked his head inside and felt his heart drop into the pit of his stomach, every time he's come to check on the lad this horrible feeling of guilt came crashing down upon his shoulders. 

It was just seeing the lad laying on the bed silently, whether he was sleeping or if he was awake he was totally lifeless. Result of the sedatives they've been having to give him to just keep him in bed to rest.

Most of the time if he was still unconscious the only way they could tell he was alive was by the rise and fall of his chest or shoulders. 

When he was awake it was even more painful to look at, sometimes he'd still be so drugged up that he just laid there listening when he would come into the room.

Even after he'd address who had entered, that blind eye still always showed that small hint of fear or reflected distrust, hurt, and betrayal. 

Honestly he'd rather he be sleeping in this condition than conscious, it was too painful to see the normally cheerful golden-haired dwarf so vulnerable. 

He wasn't blind, he knew where the hurt came from, Fili had always fought by his brother's side, protected him against all that could bring him harm, even Thorin when he was suffering from his Dragon Sickness.

Kili had been outraged by Thorin turning a blind eye the people of lake town after they lost everything in fire and smoke, eventually Kili had struck a sore nerve with his words and Thorin had backhanded him, of course Kili the stubborn lad kept going ignoring the fact that he had cracked the ice, so Thorin went at him again. 

His older brother had just barreled into Thorin's side and Fili's furious, terrified roar still echoed in his ears.

After Thorin had stumbled to the side Fili'd slammed his fist into Thorin's face almost knocking the crown right off his head, afterward he proceeded with grabbing a dagger that he'd held up defiantly, threateningly and swore upon Thror's grave that he would not touch his brother again.

That was the first time Fili had ever struck his mother's older brother, and after the fight that broke out between the two, and the fact that it took Bifur, Bofur, and Nori to pull their enraged king off of the young dwarf, he thought it'd be the last. 

Betrayal was the first thing that struck most of the company's face, both relieved and shocked that it was Fili who had finally rose to defy their king, but relieved that young Kili was safe from Thorin's wrath.

He'd never been so terrified for both Fili and Kili's lives before that, but most of all their lives being taken by Thorin himself.

Yet again, Fili never ceased to amaze him because it wasn't the last time he struck the older dwarf. When Thorin tried to throw Bilbo from the ramparts Fili had lunged forward at his uncle with a cuff to the side of his face. 

Thankfully it had been enough of a distraction for both Kili and Bofur to get Bilbo out of Erebor's gates rather than the building top, but the scene that took place after the two had taken the Hobbit. 

He wouldn't forget it any time soon. 

Thorin was so angry, he had beaten the snot out of his heir, and he very well could have killed him with that kick that had been aimed at Fili's throat. 

_'He would have broken Fili's neck. If I hadn't moved then, Thorin would have killed his own nephew.'_

Fili was smaller than most dwarves, as was Ori. He was built like an ox but still small in comparison to Thorin who easily towered over both his sister-sons.

Both Fili and Kili were still very young if one went by dwarven standards, Kili was barely of age. The Thorin Oakenshield he'd always known, was well aware that he could do serious harm if he used no restraint.

Most of the time the only time he'd ever get physical was when they were training, but even then Thorin knew better than to try to show off his physical strength to the boys. 

Dwarrow families especially ones with youngsters, normally had the women disciplining, not all families did because in truth there weren't a lot of families in Erid Luin because dwarrow women were very uncommon. 

Dis went by that knowing how capable her brother was. There were a couple of times she let him dicipline her children, namely if she was too exhausted to do it herself, or Thorin had a good reason.

_'Like the time Kili doused Thorin in ale.'_ he mused quietly, a small smirk ghosting on his lips.

Mostly just for precautions, not that she didn't trust Thorin but she knew accidents happen, and sometimes the consequences could be dire.

Yet even now, after he's sacrificed his vision for Thorin's life, the only thing the boy was worried about was his brother.

_'Selflessness is something Fili has always had even when he was but a wee dwarfling. Brave, loyal, and fierce was Fili, but he could be so concerned for other people that he'd ignore himself.'_

Because of that, the fact that they were keeping Kili from him when all he wanted to do was to take all Kili's suffering away, was an excruciating personal blow. 

_'The worst part is, the lad knows that we're aware of it. So e' feels like we are just being cruel.'_

Inhaling deeply, Dwalin entered the room quietly approaching the figure that lay on top of the bed.

Fili was laying on his stomach, his head turned to the side facing away from him.

His shoulders were shaking violently, and Dwalin knew then that he was awake. 

“Fili.” he called softly.

The blond let out a small gasp, he was trying to get up but his tired body wasn't responding. He could see his shoulders trembling, the muscles straining a he tried so hard to lift himself only to fail and settle himself back down on the mattress. 

“I'm sorry I did not mean t' scare ya.” 

Dwalin walked around the bed so he could see Fili's face, he wanted to check his bandages first. 

Fili's ears perked, listening intently as the heavy booted footsteps came closer.

_'He's going to drug me again... I don't want to sleep anymore, I cannot see that place again...'_

Once Dwalin reached the other side, he crouched and oh Mahal he could feel his heart breaking in two when he saw the fresh tears running down his cheek, he almost missed them because he couldn't see his eye face completely, his hair was in too much of a fuss.

“Fili, oh laddie what is it?” 

Bofur and Bilbo popped their heads in the doorway upon hearing Dwalin's saddened voice.

Dwalin grabbed the chair next to his bedside and sat down, never taking his eyes off of the younger dwarf.

A shaky intake of breath caused Fili's body to shudder.

_'Is he in pain?'_

The bald warrior leaned in closer as he started to move golden curls out of Fili's face. 

He hadn't been expecting the young prince to flinch away from him, nor the breakdown that followed the action. 

Dwalin pulled his hand away as if he was burned, that was the last sort of reaction he never thought nor wanted from the younger dwarf.

“F-Fili its going to...” he trailed off when the princeling's sobs basically drowned him out

“P-Please! Please …. don't d-don't... do this to m-me... “ the older dwarf could barely make out in between his hysterical keens. 

“Lad no one here means t' - “ he stopped abruptly when he realized something.

That was when Dwalin was hit with nothing but sheer guilt. 

Every time they had sedated Fili, he had either been in the room to help keep him still, or he'd done it himself no matter how much it pained him to do so.

They had been forced to resort to that though, the lad knew how Oin drugged the tea with sleeping draught if he needed to. 

“D-Don't.... n-n... not you.... p-ple...ase D-Dwalin... I can't g-go.... back... there. I-I don't want to see it.... a-again.... I can... still s-see th...them.”

_'He's been dreaming!'_

Forgetting, or more not caring to be careful, Dwalin quickly pulled the young dwarf into a sitting position and enveloped him into a tight embrace.

Fili went rigid suddenly, rigid and deathly silent as his mind started to try to think of what he should do to get himself the hell out of this situation.

The possibility of Dwalin once again man-handling him down just to place a foul reeking cloth over his mouth and nose was all too certain in his mind. 

After three seconds of intense chilling silence, Fili came back to life. 

Golden hair tossed about when he went into a wild panic at the hold that was suddenly placed upon him. 

Bofur and Bilbo had taken this opportunity to try to intervene but Dwalin's piercing threatening eyes stopped them from moving, yet alone opening their mouths to speak.

The miner had to look away, he'd known Fili since the lad was a wee babe, and this before him was truly a terrifying sight from Mordor. 

Fili was like a caged animal, kicking, twisting, shoving, clawing at the warrior's chest, he even resorted to clamping his teeth down on Dwalin's shoulder when he had heard two other sets of footsteps entering the room.

Dwalin hissed, grimacing slightly at the unexpected bite. He felt Fili grinding his teeth against the assaulted flesh when he bit down, he was trying to make sure that'd both leave a mark and it'd hurt.

He took a deep breath and reached one hand between their chests to grab the dwarfling's jaw tightly.

“Let go.” he ordered, voice calm but it had a hint of finality to it making sure the lad knew that it wasn't a request. 

The pressure relieved itself, but he kept his hold on Fili's jaw as he pulled his body back from his. 

_'I don't want to sleep. Why can't they understand that! I don't want it!'_

Fili's lip trembled when he started to recall his actions, now that the adrenaline had flushed from his system. 

Dwalin was going to knock him into next week for that. 

Instead though he felt gentle fingers run over his cheeks, catching several of the fallen tears that staiend his face.

“Hush now Fili. There be no need for them tears laddie. I wish ye'd told us ye was having nightmares. I would have found another way lad.” 

The young dwarf let out a fluttered breath, “Please, I... I will not fight...” he sniffled. 

“Okay, we are moving ya to the other side of the castle, closer to The King's chambers.” 

Fili just nodded, suddenly feeling fatigue from the passed adrenaline rush coming at him like a bear.

He was vaguely aware of Dwalin scooping him up into his arms, making sure he was comfortable before the steady sound of footsteps pounded in his ears.

**~XXX~**

About two hours had passed since Thorin had been left with Kili, he had just gotten Fili into his room a couple corridors down about half-an hour ago.

He had met up with Balin in the hallway, apparently getting ready to go check on Thorin, he decided to accompany him. 

After spotting no candle light coming from the bedroom unease filled their guts so they decided to check on the two. 

The castle was chili at nightfall, and Kili was sick, surely Thorin didn't put out the fire?

Dwalin poked his head in the doorway and deadpanned, finally reluctant grin spread across his face at the sight before him.

Thorin had crawled into the bed with his nephew, he was halfway-propped up on a mountain of pillows but for the most part he was lying down, one arms draped over his nephew who was curled into his chest in a troubled sleep. Their king seemed to be asleep as well, if the soft pattern of his breathing was anything to go by. 

Kili's trembling seemed to have ceased, but Thorin had changed the type of bedding from the thicker stuff normal used for winter and the currently cold castle as it was, to some lighter sheets so he wouldn't get too hot. 

He could however, still hear Kili whimpering words in Khuzdul, so clearly he wasn't in the safe zone quite yet.

Balin joined him in the doorway, smiled and started to walk down the hallway again.

His brother joined him not even moments later. 

“We should all get some rest, now that the fighting is over I think just one to keep watch will be enough. I have some business I need to discuss with the men of Laketown, and perhaps Thranduil if he can be reasonable, when I return I'll keep watch.” the older of the two stated.

Dwalin lifted an eyebrow, but he trusted his brother's judgment so he said nothing. 

“Ya need rest too brother, I do not want to come back to find you still at Thorin's bedside, nor one of the boys. You need your own strength laddie.” 

The bigger dwarf let out a huff and an amused snort. “Aye, I suppose I do. Ye shalln't be long?”

“Nay, and we should be fine within that time. Having moved Fili to just a couple rooms down, there shouldn't be need to wander about the castle just to check on them now. I'll keep my eyes on them. You needn't worry.” Balin replied, patting his brother on the back before he turned to walk away.

Dwalin took his leave as well, he was going to get some sleep but first he needed a couple pints of ale if he could find some. 

**~XXX~**

Thorin jerked awake at the sound of something from the hallway.

Feeling mostly naked skin curl against his own since his robe had slipped open around the chest area at some point, he glanced down to see a head of wild chestnut hair. 

_'I must have fallen asleep.'_

He heard noise from the hallway again, and a startled cry followed it.

_'What in Mahal's name was that?'_

Trying to be careful as to not wake his nephew, Thorin started to ease himself out from Kili's clingy grasp, which he managed successfully. 

After he pulled himself into a sitting position, he huffed when Kili let out a small whine of protest, likely feeling the heat radiating off his body disappear.

**“Lu.'”**

He turned his attention back to his sister-son to see if he'd actually been awakened by his movements, but he was relieved to see that he still appeared to be sleeping.

The older dwarf placed a gentle hand on the side of his sister-son's head, letting his fingers comb through dark hair for a moment. 

**“Kalil...”**

_'Has his fever not lessened?'_ he pondered quietly.

Frowning at the thought, he brought the back of his other hand to his forehead, he didn't feel as hot as before, but still hot none the less.

Pulling his hands away earned him another whine of protest. 

**“Shosh, Kili.”**

Sitting on the edge of the bed for a moment, he adjusted his robe before standing and grabbing an ornate knife that was hanging on display amongst the east wall.

_'If it's that elf-maiden so help me Mahal, I will gut her.'_ he thought bitterly.

He crept into the hallway, knife at the ready.

“D-Dwalin...?” he heard a small uncertain voice call from around the corner.

The voice made his grip on the knife slacken, and he almost dropped it to the floor.

With a still somewhat sluggish gait, he headed down the to the end of the corridor, toward the call.

“B-Bilbo...? T-Thorin?” 

_'Oh for the love of Durin!'_

He glanced down at the floor when red caught his eye, was that blood?

Thorin narrowed his eyes, grabbing a torch off the wall to bring it over to the texture on the floor only to find half-bloody footprints.

_'It is blood!'_

“Anyone.... please I-I can't get up.” the uncertainty in his voice was quickly starting to edge more toward frustration.

After rounding the corner Thorin felt his heart drop.

_'Fili...'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lu - No
> 
> Shosh - Hush. 
> 
> Kalil - Cold
> 
>  
> 
> Whew! Here's a long ass chapter for you guys!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Previously **
> 
> **_'Oh for the love of Durin!'_ **
> 
> **He glanced down at the floor when red caught his eye, was that blood?**
> 
> **Thorin narrowed his eyes, grabbing a torch off the wall to bring it over to the texture on the floor only to find half-bloody footprints.**
> 
> **_'It is blood!'_**
> 
> **“Anyone.... please I-I can't get up.” the uncertainty in his voice was quickly starting to edge more toward frustration.**
> 
> **After rounding the corner Thorin felt his heart drop.**
> 
> **_'Fili...'_**

Fili indeed. 

The lad was out in the middle of hallway on his hands and knees a short distance from scattered shards of broken pottery that he'd knocked over, he could see the source of the blood, he must have cut himself afterward, his feet were all cut up.

The dwarf stilled suddenly, having heard someone approach.

“Who's there... I um... I-I... please... I cannot see... and I.... I think I'm bleeding.” 

Thorin let out a weary sigh, trying to debate whether wrestling Fili back into his own room would be worth the emotional torment, he knew exactly what the boy thought he was doing.

_'Kili you are the only one capable of turning your brother into a self-less yet incomprehensible fool. He loves you to the ends of the Earth, he'd do anything for you. You do not realize how lucky you are.'_

“I know lad.” breathed Thorin as he came up beside where his nephew was on the ground.

Fili's voice lowered considerably, he sounded on the verge of tears. “Uncle Thorin?”

The king felt his heart clench, he could hear the overwhelmed fear in his nephew's voice.

_'Dwalin was right, Dis needs to get here right away, she'll be more capable of helping him cope with this than I would be.'_

“Aye, that it is." 

Fili shifted on his hands and knees, trying to figure out where exactly Thorin was at.

His hearing was slowly starting to become more reliable, it seemed to be helping him adept to his surroundings. It was extremely weird.

As he turned slowly Thorin noticed his hands were all bloody too, likely having gotten them cut up as well, he sighed at this.

"Fili you stubborn boy.” he chided despite his voice being abnormally gentle.

“Kili is he- nngh!” Fili yelped suddenly when he set his palm down on a rather large shard of the broken vase.

He heard Thorin inhale sharply and his booted footsteps quickly approaching him. 

“Don't move son, hold still I'm going to pick you up.” he warned, receiving a nod of acknowledgement in response.

Thorin knelt down beside him and grabbed the back of his shoulders, he couldn't just snatch him up like this, that'd be an awkward way to hold someone for sure.

Fili jerked his head to look over his shoulder, not that he could see anyways. He hadn't known Thorin was behind him, hadn't he heard something from this direction that he had turned to face? 

When he felt Throin grasp him underneath the arms and pull back, he understood what he was trying to do, he wanted him to stand.

Frustration built up inside him, he didn't like his uncle seeing him so pathetic and he'd felt something in his leg give when he'd fallen. He wasn't sure if he'd re-broken his leg or not.

He pulled against Thorin's grasp much to his uncle's irritation.

Yes irritation, he knew that from the sound of Thorin inhaling deeply to try to calm himself.

“Up Fili.” Thorin commanded stiffly. 

There was a brief tense silence and finally Fili shook his head, “I... my leg...” 

“Aye, I am already aware of your broken leg lad, I promise I'm not going to let you get hurt” 

“But I... T-Thorin...” 

He felt th touch upon his arms loosen slightly, before disappearing altogether. 

Thorin looked down at the ground beneath his feet and used his foot to kick away any shards out of his way, to get down on his knees behind his sister-son.

The blond was still on his hands and knees, so in order for Thorin to be able to do what he wanted he'd have to be flexible, literally. 

Which was funny because it was both his nephews who were more flexible than he, then again they were still very young. So it made sense.

With a grunt Thorin leaned over Fili's trembling back until he was able to bring his mouth close to his ear.

Fili took a shuttering inhale startled by the sudden feeling of hot breath on his neck, and the hand that had snaked underneath him to be placed against his chest firmly.

“You're afraid of me?” Thorin asked, though it sounded more a statement than a question.

The king felt the body beneath him tremble, and he knew the answer. 

Thorin Oakenshield was not by any means ignorant of his actions while he'd been struck with Dragon Sickness. 

He remembered the brutal fight the two hard, both of them and honestly he had hoped they were dreams.

But they were not.

He had yet to confront the boys about the two incidents, they had gone into battle before he had a chance.

That was another reason why he'd been awestruck when Fili had sacrificed his life for his own. In the end he nearly died from it, Kili too.

He heard a small sniffle, before a barely audible 'I'm sorry.' 

“I know I have done wrong by you, and Kili as well. There is no proper excuse for what I put you through. Just know that I love you both more than any amount of gold or a Mahal be damned rock, and I'm very much aware that what I am about to ask of you now is unfair, but please Fili trust me.” Thorin's voice was so gentle in his ear, and Fili suddenly felt the tears creeping down his face causing him to bite his lip nervously.

A pause, made the king uneasy so he spoke once more. "Let me help you."

That was all that was said before they were both silent for a couple minutes while Filil was deep in thought, Thorin waited patiently even though it wasn't his best quality. 

“Okay.” 

Thorin breathed a sigh of relief before placing a brief kiss on top blond curls. He rest his chin on top of his heir's head for a couple moments, absent mindedly combing his fingrers through golden hair.

"Besides, I have all the gold I could need right in front of me. Aye, your great-grandfather would have seen you as a good omen." he stated, pleased with the small smile that ghosted upon his nephew's face.

He moved his other arm underneath Fili to rest it on his stomach, shifting the other arm so it was across his sternum and a shoulder. 

“Up we go lad.” he urged softly gently pulling upwards on the young dwarf's torso trying to coax him to move.

Fili complied this time, letting his uncle move his body until he was on his knees. 

The older dwarf left his arm against Fili's sternum in the same spot and the other moved from his stomach to the small of his back. 

“Use your other leg.” he instructed, and of course Fili obediently started to rise until he was half-standing, half clinging unto his uncle's arm to try to keep his balance.

“Alright.” was all Thorin said, before he used this position to scoop his nephew into his arms bending his knees for a moment while he adjusted to Fili's weight. 

Fili was quiet for the most part as he felt Thorin start walking. 

He had a feeling he already knew where they were going, but he didn't want to irritate Thorin he knew that he'd been keeping him from Kili for a reason.

Eventually he caved and decided to ask anyway.

“Thorin?” 

“Yes Fili?” 

“Where are we going?” 

He heard his uncle breathe a sigh, and suddenly he felt him stop walking, and he thought turn around but he wasn't certain.

“To see your brother.” 

Thorin had expected, him to start grinning or at least look happy but it was not to be.

Fili's lip trembled slightly, and he could see the lad's right eye welling with tears that quickly spilled over.

No, instead of joy he saw pain as well as the relief he was expecting. 

_'Fuck sake. I do not know what I am going to do.'_

His heart throbbed painfully when his sister-son, fisted his robe before he buried his face into his shoulder, he could feeling tears soak into the fabric. 

Not even minutes later he stood outside the door to Kili's room. 

_'I will be sending a letter to Dis myself after tonight.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **You guys gotta love me now, two chapters in one day. I'm on a roll! Actually I had about a third of this typed already but I had cut in half at the last cliff hanger just to be mean. Much like this one too! Except I haven't gotten anything type for the next one yet.**
> 
> **But then you gotta hate me for my cliffhangers, I do so enjoy cliffhangers. They are truly, very, very entertaining. I'm sorry I'm not sorry that I'm not sorry.**
> 
> **Cliffhangers are how I let you guys know that I love you! It's my sign of affection!!!!!!**
> 
> **Gonna work on Rekindle for a while next.**
> 
> **Hope you guys enjoyed!!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo ponders and Dwalin voices his concerns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I'm cruel. Leaving you guys at that last chapter and then changing the subject. I'm not sorry.

Bilbo Baggins was not a dwarf, nor a man, or even an elf. 

No he was a Hobbit from the Shire.

If one would have suggested this quest, three maybe four years ago he would think them completely senile. 

As a Hobbit of a place so far away from here, a peaceful quiet place, he was not used to being around so much bloodshed, and danger for that matter. Well, none life-threatening anyways. 

Why? Oh why in Yavanna's good name, had he left the Shire? 

The truth was he knew not himself.

He had been dragged a long ways from his home, clear across Middle-Earth in fact. 

In this span of little over a year since he left the Shire, he had seen things that he knew he would never see back home.

Some of them good, some bad, some beautiful, some terrifying, and some that he already wished he would have never seen at all.

Bilbo had seen the beauty of Rivendell, the view of The Lonely Mountain from afar, and the sunset and butterflies at the tops of the mighty trees of Mirkwood, he'll just ignore the nasty things he saw there, namely spiders. 

Those were some of the good things.

Though, he had also seen dragon fire turn Lake Town to nothing but flames and ash from afar. He'd seen Smaug in action from a distance and up close to the point he could have touched him. 

People dying, screaming, people hacking limbs off each other. 

And for what? 

Gold. 

Men, dwarfs, elves, so many many lives had been lost in the end, some of them changing those around them for as long as they would live to tell the tale. 

When the first time he had seen Fili in his injured state it had been only a quick glance. He had gotten back to Erebor shortly after Baliin, Dwalin, and Bofur had left to look for the heirs, and an hour later Dwalin returned from the search carrying the young dwarf as if he weighed nothing.

**~ Flashback~**

_Bilbo rose quickly from his seat when a loud cry of pain from down th hall got his attention._

_He heard a voice speaking apologies and reassurances, it was gruff voice lowered to a gentle soothing tone._

_He quietly limped down the corridor, and got half-way down before Dwalin rounded the corner earning a sigh of relief form the small Hobbit._

_Though, something was off and it was only then that Bilbo spotted the body the dwarf carried as he walked._

_Dwalin had spotted him and gave a breathy sigh which he quickly tried to hide with a cough._

_“Bilbo we'd been looking for ye lad.” he spoke as he walked toward him._

_Bilbo didn't say a word, he just stared in shock that was quickly turning to horror when he realized whom exactly the burden was._

_'Fili'_

_Though as Dwaling got closer, Bilbo started to become unsure if he was right or not, there was so much blood covering the left side of their face from the gouging puncture of their eye._

_“Is... is that Fili?” he couldn't help but stutter._

_There was a grim silence._

_“Aye, that it is...”_

**~End Flashback~**

That was another one of the terrifying gruesome things he'd seen, such frighteningly gory wounds given to a friend. He'd become fond of both Fili and his brother, and dare he say it, Thorin too. 

Fili's handsome face was cringe worthy, the wound his eye sustained it was one he'd never seen and wish not to see ever again. 

Then Kili's condition was bad as well, broken hip, and that gouge on his face and all over his body. Then of course the fever he got afterward.

Due to all the hectic chaos within his head, it didn't take much time for Bilbo to be staring from the top of the castle staring over the wall to the vast view of the land before Erebor.

He knew he should be asleep it was well past twilight and everyone else had found somewhere in the palace to rest, but as he stood staring over the wall at the ruins of Lake Town, he reminded himself why he wasn't.

“What yeh thinking about?” a voice asked.

Bilbo jumped violently having been unaware that he wasn't alone and lost his balance, but a strong arm grabbed him by the scruff to prevent him from tossing himself over the ramparts.

“Easy laddie, yer spooked easily aren't ye? Apologies.” the now familiar voice spoke.

_'It's just Dwalin.'_

He felt the dwarf set him down and make sure he was on careful footing before he let go.

Bilbo sighed, and turned around to see he was right when he found Dwalin standing in front of him. 

“I couldn't seem to fall asleep, so I came up here hoping for some fresh air.”

The dwarf nodded and came to stand beside him, staring over the vast land before before their kingdom. The ruins of Lake Town, of Dale. 

Bilbo turned to cast his gaze across the plains as well, he took a quick glance at Dwalin, he looked sad, troubled, and one could see the lacking sleep on his face. 

“Aye, me too.”

“Might I ask how come?” 

Dwalin looked down at him, his expression thoughtful as he fought reluctance away. 

“Fili.”

Bilbo would be lying if he said he wasn't surprised. He'd expected to hear Thorin. 

He cleared his throat before he spoke again.

“Would it happen to be his injuries?” 

“Aye, 'is life has been changed, it was the moment Azog swung his mace. I just hope Thorin knows what lies ahead of 'em. Fili just gave up everything for him, an' he better understand that.” 

The Hobbit remained in thought, if he wasn't going mad, it actually sounded like Dwalin was more worried for Fili's safety as opposed to Thorin's.

Thorin, his king was the one person that Dwalin would follow til it killed him. His loyalty to him astonished him sometimes, especially when he'd yell at Kili for arguing with him over something petty, and would even defend Thorin's honor and choice even when he was in the wrong. 

He would follow Thorin til the day he died, or it killed him.

_'There must be something more to this.'_

“I just worry about 'im is all, e's an excellent warrior the one of the best of our company, and I care for 'im and his brother a lot.” 

Bilbo looked up at this, silently listening to the dwarf's words. 

“The boys 'ave always been inseparable, ever since they were wee dwarflings., their relationship 'as always been intriguing.” 

“What exactly do you mean by that?” 

“Teh thing with Fili and Kili is that if one goes, the other will follow.”

The Hobbit nodded, “I actually had picked up on that alrea-” 

Dwalin cut him off, “I mean death Bilbo.” 

Said hobbit went completely silent at this, “Come again?” 

The dwarf let out a sigh, “Fili loves his brother and Kili is the same, like most siblings do, but I can say I've never seen nor met a two dwarves who share a sibling bond as much as those boys. Ever since Kili was born, Fili wouldn' leave 'is side. Ta Fili, Kili is everythin' it's almost like he is the purpose for living. If Kili was in trouble, you'd always fin' Fili t'be the first one there. If Kili was suffering, Fili was agonized because he can' take 'is pain away. If Fili was sad, then Kili was sad. They've been that way for as long as they've been together”

“They're extremely close then?”

“Dere's really no words t' describe it lad. My biggest fear when we sent them out onto the battlefield was Kili being slain in combat. I know that if Kili had been killed, Fili would follow him. If not at the blade of an enemy, t'be 'is own.” 

Bilbo gaped, he hadn't expected that.

“Aye, I worry more so for Fili, than Kili. I worry tha' about what may happen em' when they get separated one day. I don' tink they'd be able t'move on. Fili would mourn 'imself to death and Kili, the lad would die inside out. That's what I meant when I said tha' I aven't seen a relationship like this before.”

The Hobbit nodded, finally getting the picture and let out a small sigh. 

“Ye should probably try t' get some sleep laddie.” 

“You are absolutely right. I think I shall take my leave now., unless you want company?” 

“Naw, I be fine Bilbo. Get some sleep.” he insisted and that was that.

“Well ah, alright then. Good evening.” the hobbit stuttered before descending the stairs that led to the main floor.

Dwalin let out a sigh, his thoughts were turned upon nothing but Fili and a majority of it Thorin. 

He still couldn't wrap his head around the fact that Thorin had been in the process of delivering a killing blow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll have another chapter up here shortly!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Thorin's big fight is recalled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I DID SOME EDITING TO THIS CHAPTER!!! ADDED SOME STUFF TO THE FIGHT!!**

Fili felt Thorin sit him down on something, his back was propped up against a wall. 

“Kili?”

“You are covered in blood Fili, I decided to tend to your wounds first. Your brother is sleeping in the next room.” 

Fili of course being the stubborn dwarf he is, opened his mouth to call to his brother but he was stopped short when a large hand clamped over his mouth. 

“Shh, Fili let him rest, we will go in there right after I bandage your injuries. Understand?”

Fili let out a reluctant grumble but nodded.

“Good. I also wanted to speak with you, about the Arkenstone and what I've decided to do with it.”

The young dwarf shifted nervously at those words, he stopped listening at the word 'Arkenstone' .

 **~Flashback~**

_'Bilbo? What have you done?' was the first thing that popped into his head when Bilbo suddenly voiced his confession._

_Thorin was livid, he was shaking with rage and Fili had a feeling that this was going to get out of hand quickly.._

_They all watched in awe as the small Hobbit stepped forward, squaring his shoulders be he spoke to their king._

_“You are changed, Thorin. The Dwarf I met in Bag End would never have gone back on his word, would never have doubted the loyalty of his kin.”_

_'Thorin....'_

_Thorin's looks were enough to kill. “Do not speak to me of loyalty!” he roared._

_He saw Kili start to move slowly toward the Hobbit, he could see his brother saw the same storm coming._

_Suddenly turned his eyes to Kili right at that moment since he was the one who was within grabbing distance, and he could see all that anger in his eyes._

_“Throw him from the rampart!”_

_Kili's mouth dropped open in shock and he watched him take a step backward, recoiling in absolute disbelief and horror._

_He wasn't the only one, everyone's eyes were wide with shock at this but none of them were able to move._

_Did Thorin seriously just order them to throw their hobbit off the building?_

_“Did you not hear me!?” he bellowed his eyes landing upon Fili, all that fury and that rage made him gulp down uneasiness._

_Still receiving no answer he marched over to the younger dwarf and grabbed his wrist trying to pull him closer, as if that would get him to listen to a word of the madness their he was spitting._

_'No Uncle.' a sad voice echoed in his mind when he yanked his arm free and put some distance between his uncle and himself.._

_The look Thorin gave him in response, the surprise at the disobedience coming from his heir, least at all his first heir._

_Kili maybe, but not Fili. Fili was the one who respected authority more so than his brother._

_That look made his heart jolt with uncertainty as he watched his uncle look at each and every one of them._

_Balin opened his mouth to speak but closed it quickly seeing the murderous intent within Thorin's blue eyes._

_“I will do it myself.” he fumed, storming toward the Hobbit._

_'He's actually going to kill him!'_

_Fili grabbed at Thorin's arm when he walked past him._

_“Thorin!” he yelled angrily when his efforts were just shrugged off._

_Kili actually grabbed Bilbo's wrist and basically threw him behind his body, he landed with a loud thud against the stone. “Bilbo! You need to leave!” he told the hobbit desperately._

_“But I-” Bilbo_

_The hobbit having gotten to his knees just sat there, he was still trying to register what was happening._

_“Bilbo! Run!” Kili yelled as he stepped in front of the hobbit when Thorin grew closer._

_Thorin stopped in front of him, and stood staring down at him._

_Kili swallowed lifting his eyes to stare into icy blue eyes that seemed colder than they normally did. They were filled with fire as usual but not the type of fire he could recognize, this one was one of anger, hatred, and a need for blood that had him quickly averting his eyes to the floor._

_“...Thorin.... please.” was that his voice? Was he really that terrified of his uncle that his voice came out as that tiny squeak?_

_Finally snapping out of his trance Bilbo got ready to bolt, but Thorin had pushed passed Kili and reached forward to grab a fistful of hair which he used as leverage to start to drag him toward the rampart and the fall that lay below it._

_Someone had to do something._

_“No!” Fili yelled, rushing his uncle he just hurled himself at his body, he knew he wouldn't be able to tackle the larger dwarf, but he'd be damned if he didn't do something._

_Thorin let out a grunt of pain on impact and dropped the Hobbit when he was knocked backwards._

_“Kili!! Someone go! Get him out of here!” he cried when Thorin straightened his composure._

_His brother darted forward to grab the small hobbit around the waist and picked him up like it was nothing._

_“I hey! I have feet!”_

_“Aye and they are hairy at that Mister Boggins.”_

_“I beg your pardon!” they heard their quiet banter as they descended the steps._

_Thorin watched them disappear with raging fiery eyes, before turning toward him and knocking him sideways and to the floor with a backhand to the face._

_'Oh Mahal, I didn't expect this!' Fili's mind screamed as he tried to get onto his hands and knees._

_Spitting up some blood from his newly split lip, Fili started to get to his hands and knees but before he could register what was happening, Thorin was upon him with his hand tangled in golden hair._

_“YOU!? Fili you have betrayed me! I may have seen this coming from your brother but as second to the throne I did not expect this from you! You defend that rat!?” Thorin yelled, hoisting him up to his feet._

_Fili hissed, his hands raised to feebly pry at Throin's hand that was tangled in his hair._

_As soon as his hands touched the other dwarf's though Thorin exploded, he slapped him hard across the face and hurled him at the stone wall._

_He felt his back collide and he slid to the floor in a daze._

_“Thorin!” he heard Balin's loud protest, he looked up just in time to see his uncle storming towards him again._

_“No uncle, I do not defend Bilbo's actions-aaahh!”_

_He cut himself off when Throin had pulled him to his feet again by his hair, this time taking advantage of the drastic difference in size between the two of them by pinning him to the wall with his own body._

_“You were supposed to serve me! I am your king, and that thief took what is mine.” his uncle's voice rumbled in his ear._

_“I do serve you Thorin, you and only you but-”_

_A hand wrapped around his throat and pushed him into the wall until he was forced up with his feet off the ground._

_He looked around, was no one going to stop him?_

_Gloin was being held back by his brother, Balin was looking away, Nori looked like a rabid animal trying to pull free from both Bofur and Bifur holding him back. Dori was consoling Ori, and Bombur looked sad._

_Then there was Dwalin._

_Dwaliin was standing there using all his self-restraint to remind himself that Thorin was still his king and he was being torn between loyalty and what he felt was right._

_Thorin applied some pressure on his neck and Fili's eyes widen in sheer horror as he realized that Thorin would actually kill his own heir, over something so petty. He'd kill him in front of everyone here._

_Fili took this moment to strike, and kneed Thorin in the chest._

_It had been hard enough that it winded him and he stumbled backwards dropping him back to the floor on his feet in the process._

_Moments later Thorin swung his gauntlet covered fist at his head, which he managed to dodge and tried to counter with a hook to the face._

_Success!_

Thorin stumbled back a bit, but Fili didn't yield this time, he rushed forward and delivered a brutal uppercut to the king's jaw. 

Everyone was shocked at the display that was before them, Fili was going to get himself killed over this. 

Balin quietly came to stand beside Bofur, and told him to keep Kili distracted lest they want Thorin to kill both of them. 

'Thank you Balin.' 

A sudden furious growl got his attention and he focused his attention right on time to jump over Thorin's leg when he tried to take his legs out beneath him with a ground sweep. 

He could barely block the gauntlet covered fist that suddenly came at him. "This is my kingdom boy. Sister-son or not you will respect me." 

Thorin seemed to yield all the sudden, standing there chest puffing as he panted from the exertion.

"I respect the dwarf whom which helped raise me Thorin!" Fili roared, his face flushed and body shaking in nothing but anger, which actually reminded Dwalin of Dis hot temper. 

Several audible gasps could be heard at his outburst, and Bofur swallowed taking this moment to go find Kili.

Balin shared a glance with his brother and he could already tell what his brother was thinking, it was on his mind as well.

'Fili please, lad do not say anything stupid.' 

"My loyalty belongs to the dwarf I was proud to call my uncle! My kin! You are our king... my king and you always were, that goes for both me and him! You told us stories of Erebor all our lives, but more so you told us tales of kings. Some greedy, some selfish and cruel, some generous and merciful wanting to help those in need! You claimed you would be better than Thranduil and that you were not your grandfather! You spoke to us of honor Thorin!" 

Thorin's shoulders were starting to shake, and Fili knew he was going to spring at any moment but at this point he was far to driven to even care if he signed his death warrant. 

"Outside these walls there are people who suffered what our people endured sixty years ago. You know what dragon fire is like, we needed aid and no one would help us, so why in Durin's name have you done the same to the people of Lake Town? They have lost everything."

"The sons of man gave us nothing! All we did was bargain for our freedom which we should have had in the first place. It is our right to return to this mountain!" 

"There's an army out there because you will not honor your word, we made a bargain!" 

"I will give them nothing!" 

Fili's eyes narrowed angrily. "No, I do not respect this dwarf in front of me, I hailed the man I wanted to be like, that I admired. Not the monster you have turned yourself into. We are suffering from the consequences of your greed along with the elves and men! You'd go to war for gold? Look around you Thorin! Look at what a colossal ass you've made out of yourself!"

_He hadn't time to think of what to do next before he was ducking underneath another blow when Thorin had rushed him abruptly. This time Thorin had apparently been prepared because he jerked his elbow back and slammed it into the side of Fili's head._

_The blow itself made his head spin, and he lost his balance toppling to the floor._

_His mind started thinking of other things, and when it subconsciously drifted to Kili, he quickly became aware of the fact that he was suddenly having difficulty breathing._

_Who was going to protect Kili if his uncle killed him right here and now?_

_A loud gasping noise came from his lips, and he couldn't breathe!_

_The other's seemed to get riled up at the sound though, but he was having trouble comprehending._

_Dwalin's voice roared to life this time. “Fili! Thorin! Thorin stop! He's having a panic attack!”_

_Thorin ignored him when he lifted him up by the front of his tunic and threw him onto his back upon the stone._

_A couple harsh kicks rained down upon him, and he ducked his head whilst trying to get his breath back.  
“Thorin! You're going to kill him!” _

_Oin's frantic voice reached his ears but apparently not his uncle's because the next time he looked up above him he saw a booted foot coming coming down upon his neck._

_He closed his eyes bracing himself for the impact that never came, instead he heard a growl as Thorin was shoved back. Even so he kept them shut until he heard a different voice right in front of him._

_“Enough Thorin!”_

_“Get out of my way Dwalin!”_

_“Bilbo is right, ye have changed Thorin. Ye would never 'ave beaten yer sister-sons in the manner of which ya have just now, n'matter what tongue they used with ye.” Dwalin's monotone voice could barely be heard._

_Gandalf started speaking to Thorin at that precise moment, and drew his attention away from both Dwalin and Fili who lay gasping on cold stone with a bloody nose and more than likely some other injuries._

_Dwalin took this opportunity to pick the wheezing dwarf up and head down from the lookout to one of the main levels, quietly coaxing Fili back to breathing normally as he did so._

_After several tense moments, it finally seemed to work and the pitiful excuse of a breathing pattern disappeared._

_He didn't' stop walking until he reached a bedroom that hadn't seen a cleaning in over sixty years._

_Quietly he set the younger dwarf down and his heart ached for him when he saw the tears that streamed down his cheeks. He also became aware of the small tremors that shook his body._

_'Durin's sake Thorin, you terrified him!'_

_“Fili. Are ye alright?”_

_Two big sad blue eyes slowly rose to meet his._

_“No... No m'not. He was going to kill me. He was actually-”_

_Dwalin cut him off when he pulled him into a hug.“Oh lad, c'mere. We'll find out how t' fix this.”_

__**~End Flashback~** _ _

__“Fili. Fili? Son are you alright?” Thorin's voice snapped him out of his daydream._ _

__“I- yes, sorry.... I got lost in thought.”_ _

__“Did you here what I told you about your brother?”_ _

__“Huh? No, sorry I must have missed it.”  
“Your brother is sick with fever, and since it hit him he has only been speaking in Khuzdul.”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Won't be another chapter for this one til Monday I'm afraid. 
> 
> I was going to not update this a second time at all, but I had this insistant urge to write their dispute "Right now" because I can be very impulsive and that urge just wouldn't go away. Y'guys should thank me, I was going to make you go all the way til Monday with nothing. :p 
> 
> Love you guys! Thanks so much for the support and Happy mother's day, make sure you give your mom a hug!!!!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Durin family angst!! Yay!!! We gotta love it right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ATTENTION!!! 
> 
> Since there is a bit of delirious Kili, Khuzdul in this chapter! I am putting the translations at the top ahead of time!! I have a feeling I fail horribly at piecing the language together too, but I'm still studying and going back to edit them as I learn. So if anyone has any tips! I'd be more than happy to hear them if I got something wrong!  
> All Khuzdul help and translations is credited to:  
> The Dwarrow Scholar - https://dwarrowscholar.wordpress.com/khuzdul/documents-dictionaries/  
> and  
> Midgardsmal - http://midgardsmal.com/
> 
> KHUZDUL TRANSLATIONS!!!!!!!!!!  
>  **Abâd!** \- I am here  
>  **Melhekhul** \- My King  
>  **Irak'adad** \- Uncle  
>  **Lu. Khiduyothur Kili** \- No. Be still Kili.  
>  **Irak'adad. Du-bekâr?** \- Uncle. To arms?  
>  **Lu Kili** \- No Kili  
>  **Kud?** \- What?  
>  **Kasatmi asbul hibduzul irakdashat** \- I will explain later nephew  
>  **Irak'adad, e kall** \- Uncle, I am cold.  
>  **Thorin, kunh Fili? Azrulmi asukh hu. Aktubmi astu amruz ma mahikhrishi akhma. Zabirakhajimuhazu, irak’adad, ikhaz amruz e id dush** \- Thorin where is Fili? I want to see him. I know you have been keeping us separate for a reason. Please uncle, stop keeping me in the dark.”  
>  **Kili naddith abâd** Kili, brother I am here.  
>  **Kili, idribtu.** \- Kili, stop it.

Fili was a stunned by this, couldn't even deny that.

“Khuzdul? But he hasn't spoken Khuzdul since he was very young... not since...” Fili trailed off, and bit his lip nervously.

“Aye.”

There was a tense silence before Fili had the courage to speak again.

“It-.. he-... its not like Bifur...?”

“No. No, nothing like that, that had also been my first thought. Óin says his head appears to be fine and that it is likely from the fever itself.” 

“Thorin, Kili has suffered from fever caused by injury before, Uncle he did not do this...” Fili protested. 

“Not even when he was dying of poison from his Morgul wound. Even then he never spoke Khuzdul unless he swore.” 

Thorin gave the younger dwarf a sad smiile, even though he was aware he wouldn't see it.

_'So protective you are Fili, you are going to find yourself mother-henning like Dori here pretty soon.'_

With a weary sigh he placed a large hand upon Fili's shoulder. “No, not like this, but those fevers were nothing compared to what he's suffering through right now.” 

Fili blanched, how could anything be worse than what he witnessed at the house of Bard the Bowman. 

That had been one of the scariest moments of is life.

Just seeing his brother lying on the floor writhing in agony was hard enough, but having Kili fight, scream, struggle, and sob hysterically was a knife through his own heart. 

When Tauriel ordered them to pick him up to move him to the dinner table Kili had cried and pleaded for him to help him even though he knew it had to be done.

Kili had been so scared, so confused, and so agonized that he had felt like a monster holding him down against his will. More so when Tauriel's healing process had started it had obviously been hurting him from how he reacted.

He bit his bottom lip again, as he lifted his head up toward his king. “How... how bad is it... the fever?” 

“He was scorching when I first visited him after resting for a moment. It hit him when I was in my chambers and Óin did not want to wake me, despite my specific orders to do so if something happened.”

Fili felt Thorin grab his left hand, letting out a hiss as he ran his fingers over the lacerations in his palms from the incident in the hall.  
Thorin whispered a brief apology upon hearing the noise, using the bandages that he had in his room to wrap the injury as delicately as he could.

“Your brother has suffered a broken hip, so he is not to move much. He has also been wild with pain, Bofur was trying to hold him still steady so Balin could try to do what he could too cool him down. Very delusional, he has been seeing things that are not there. He speaks in Khuzdul but will respond to Westron. I've found Kili seems to focus more if you use Khuzdul at the moment.”

Fili swallowed thickly, going silent while Thorin wrapped his wounded feet having been sliced up from stepping on the sharp broken pieces of clay.

When his uncle finished, he rose to his feet again, he must have seen the silent tear that had escaped his right eye because he was pulled into his arms again.

“I promise you sister-son, Óin is adamant that this will pass once his fever has been broken.” 

The young dwarf just nodded quietly, sniffing back the tears that still burned behind his eyes.

He drew his uncle's attention again when he cleared his throat.

“I guess I shall have to start studying up on my Khuzdul again in case he is to get sick in the future.” he joked lightly. 

“Aye, it would seem so.” Thorin chuckled resting his chin on top of golden curls since Fili had seemed to sink further into his embrace. 

The two dwarrow remained that way for a few minutes in total silence, until a soft moan from the next room caught their attention.

Fili became alert immediately, he wanted to hear Kili's voice so badly he'd not spoken to his brother since before they marched out to fight in that viscous battlefield. 

Thorin felt his sister-son go rigid him his arms, he was starting to question whether or whether not this was really a good idea.

A gentle tug on his sleeve from his nephew made his decision all too easy.

With a weary sigh, Thorin pulled away and studied his face. 

“Are you ready Fili? Are you sure you want to confront him now, this might be more difficult than you think it will.” 

His eager nod had the King Under the Mountain trying to think of how he wanted to do this. 

“Aye, let's get you up.”

Fili stiffened again. “Uncle I-” 

“I bandaged your feet, you will not feel any pain lad. You failed to re-break your leg, it must have been the shock from stepping on the shards.” Thorin explained, grabbing his wrists and pulling him onto his feet

Thorin frowned when he noticed the frustration on his nephew's face. 

“Lad what is it?”

“The hallway.” Fili mumbled quietly, cheeks tinting the faintest of red. 

Hallway?

Blue eyes narrowed for a moment thinking over the words that were just spoken.

It took a moment, but it finally came to him.

He shifted to his nephew's side and wrapped an arm around his waist. “I know you can't see Fili, surly you don't think that I would have you wander around aimlessly?”

“But...” 

“Fili, son I won't let you run into anything.”

Biting his lip nervously the golden dwarf seemed to relax a little when his uncle rubbed soothing circles into his bicep on his right arm.

“One step at a time lad, this is going to take time to get used to.” 

**~XXX~**

It was four painful minutes later that they finally managed to successfully leave the room and walk next door. 

Thorin couldn't believe how much his sister-son seemed to distrust him now. He would flinch every time he shifted his hold on him and that pained him greatly. 

He stopped a few feet from the door, and raised Fili's right arm before walking again. 

Fili furrowed his brow when he suddenly felt cold stone against his hand. “Where have you taken me?”

“To Kili's room, I want you to wait right here. Do not move, I will be right back after I speak to your brother.” 

A small huff made his braided mustache swing a little bit but he took that as a yes.

“I will return shortly.”

Thorin pushed the ajar door open and immediately he heard Kili's fevered voice calling for him.

**“Abâd!!”**

Kili's brown eyes shot to him immediately and he could see tears gathering behind them when he got closer.

**“Melhekhul-”** he choked out.

The older dwarf had to resist rolling his eyes. **“Irak'adad.”**

Kili ignored him, and was instead trying to force himself to sit up.

**“Lu. Khiduyothur Kili.”**

His command seemed to work because he halted his movements and instead lifted his face up to look at him.

'Durin be damned Kili, quit it!' his mind grumbled when Kili raised those brown eyes with 'the look' he hated oh so much, yet loved them even more.

Those eyes had gotten the lad out of many a beating, he wouldn't deny that a bit.

That's how those two are, Fili suggests something stupid, they both go and do it, plan fails when Kili messes up his roll, and he gets them out of trouble by batting those prerty eyes.

Were...

They were that way, things were changed now.

**“Irak'adad, Du-bekâr?”**

_'Oh of course Dis, your son wants to go straight back out onto the battlefield when he cannot even stand yet!'_

He snorted at the thought, but kept himself from laughing. **“Lu Kili.”**

Kili blinked his eyes once, twice, before cocking his head to the side.

**“Kud?”**

A frustrated groan escaped his lips and he pinched the bridge of his nose between his ring and forefinger.

**“Kasatmi asbul hibduzul irakdashat.”**

During the two minute silence that followed Thorin changed the cloth that lay over his nephew's forehead.

_'His fever went back up.'_

**“Irak'adad, e kall.”**

_'Poor lad.'_ He laid a hand on Kili's cheek and he felt him shudder. 

**“Thorin, kunh Fili? Azrulmi asukh hu. Aktubmi astu amruz ma mahikhrishi akhma. Zabirakhajimuhazu, irak’adad, ikhaz amruz e id dush.”**

Before Thorin could even open his mouth to reply he heard a loud sob from the hallway, Kili of course shot his attention to the door. 

_'There goes that plan'_

**“K-Ki..li.. ... nadad ... y-yadami.”** he made out between several loud heart-wrenching sobs.

Kili of course started to try to get up again and Thorin had to act fast this time in order to keep his flailing body from hitting the floor.

**“Kili, idribtu.”** he spat sharply, setting him back on the bed earning a small yelp when his hip was jostled. 

He turned around and started to retreat to the door, he had to bring Fili in now, he glanced over his shoulder to see Kili trying to get out of the bed again. 

“Kili, by the name of Durin! Be still and stay put! I will be right back, I need to go get your brother.” 

Kili ceased all movement immediately and Thorin let out a breath of relief. 

Upon opening the door to the room, Thorin Oakenshield was met with a sight that shook to his core. 

_'Oh Fili please...'_

His sister-son was still beside the wall as he'd instructed though by now he'd sunk to his knees and was hunched over til his mustache braids tickled the floor. 

The loud mournful sobs were almost too much for him to bear, he found himself taking a deep breath as he knelt down beside him.

“Fili. I thought this is wha-” 

“It is.... but I.... h-he..... I c-can't.... I wa... want to..... see .. s … ..smile.” he blubbered the jumble of words, he was trying to make sense of what he meant. 

It was at this moment Dwalin was trotting down the hallway, his face alarmed but he could see the fatigue as clear as day.

“Thorin? Is everything alright laddie?” he panted. 

“No. No it is not, would you mind making sure Kili does not manage to kill himself?” 

Dwalin swallowed now understanding the situation completely.

“Aye, I would do that.” 

After Dwalin disappeared into the room he turned back to his other equally distressed nephew. 

“I was... wrong.” he mewled softly.

“What do you mean? Wrong about what Fili?” Thorin questioned running his fingers through blond curls as he tried to soothe him the best he could.

“It is harder... than I.... antici... pated.... I-I … was s-so eager t'see.. him... and n-now I... I can't! N-Not like... like th-this!” 

“Fili he would never think any less of you. You are his older brother, he loves you. That won't change.” 

Fili sniffed when he heard Dwalin's voice speaking to Kili in the room. 

“C'mon lad, he needs to see you. This cannot be avoided. I would be right there with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Phew!!* Oh my goodness what a ride. This one took a while. AND GUESS WHAT!?!!?! THIS IS ONLY HALF OF THE CHAPTER!! D: We're not even done with the Khuzdul yet! *slams head on desk* Oh well! I think sick Kili is adorable so we'll just do it for shits and giggles! The next chapter is supposed to be extremely sad! I'm just giving you guys a warning.
> 
> Stay tuned!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunion Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the next chapter are going to be my last chapters that I'll be using this in omg takes so much time! Kili will magically get better omg. 
> 
> KHUZDUL TRANSLATIONS!!!! 
> 
> **Nadad** \- Brother  
>  **Katastku** \- Who else  
>  **Ne, ma amhul birailtis Kili -** No, don't cry Kili  
>  **Nadad, arnakmi Kasatsu Murdul!** \- Brother, I thought you dead!  
>  **Katsutmi ne stu, katsutmi agjuj astu fulkhu Amuriz ra rum gagin** \- I would never abandon you, I would follow you to the edge of Middle-Earth and back again  
>  **Sullu gilkhal** \- All is well  
>  **Irak'adad, ’Arsmi** \- Uncle, I am too hot  
>  **Uslukh?** \- A dragon?  
>  **Ma Smaug mamarda** \- No Smaug is dead  
>  **Fili, kunh adad** \- Fili, where is father?  
>  Ma astu izlik - Do you not remember?  
>  **Kud?** \- What?  
>  **Murdhu** \- He is dead.  
>  **Ma shubutmi** \- I don't understand  
>  **Mabazgûn zai Azgâr Azanulbizarul zai shakâl Kheled-zâramul** \- Slain in the Battle of Azanulbizar on the shores of Kheled-zâram.

It took a bit of convincing, but finally the king managed to get Fili to go through with his decision. 

When Thorin walked into the room practically carrying his older nephew Kili's eyes widened in disbelief, he still couldn't believe no one told him.

“Fili...” 

Thorin managed to get Fili into the bed, deciding that Fili would likely be more comfortable not having to worry about losing his balance the entire time. 

Kili of course tried to roll over onto his side but stopped short when the action sparked pain to his hip, Dwalin took a minute or two to get Kili onto his uninjured side so he could face his brother, but he decided he'd keep his hand upon him just for precautions. 

Hearing his brother's pain Fili reached a trembling hand out to rest upon what felt like a bandaged chest? He couldn't' be certain. He could feel the heat radiating off his brother's body.

_'Thorin is right. He's very sick.'_

_**“Nadad?”**_ his brother's soft voice called to him.

Fili had to pause, trying to recall his Khuzdul since he himself rarely used it. 

It took him a few seconds but finally he was able to reply. _**“Katastku.”**_

Fingers ran through his hair and Kili let out a heart shattering keen, he felt tears pricking behind his right eye.

_**“Ne, ma amhul birailtis Kili.”** _

He felt his brother's shoulders heave against his body, his request seemed to have the opposite effect of had been intended because Kili's soft sobs soon morphed into loud keens.

If there was one thing in this world that Fili Son of Dis, Daughter of Thrain son of Thror absolutely could not stand it would be his brother crying.

His lip quivered for a moment he was trying in vain to compose himself.

“P-Please don't cry...”

_**“Nadad, arnakmi Kasatsu Murdul!”**_ his brother spat in frustration.

An involuntary whimper escaped his lips and he felt hot arms wrap around his shaking body to pull him closer.

He melted into the embrace burying his face in Kili's neck he started to speak softly. 

“Never Kee.” he paused to take a breath before he continued. 

_**“Katsutmi ne stu, katsutmi agjuj astu fulkhu Amuriz ra rum gagin.”** _

Thorin watched the two boys interact, and he had to admit his heart was both fluttering and despairing at this point. He could tell Kili hadn't noticed Fili's blindness quite yet.

He honestly didn't know what they could expect from the lad when he found out.

_**“Sullu gilkhal.”**_ Fili spoke again, forcing a smile onto his face. 

“Dwalin, I shall take over from here. In fact I would prefer to have some alone time with them.” Thorin spoke softly to the other dwarf, coming up behind him to take his place in the chair.

“Are yeh sure laddie?” 

“Aye. Very much so. You need to get some rest.” Thorin responded with a grateful smile placing his hands on Kili's side and back so the warrior could let go of his sister-son. 

“Quite.” Dwalin chuckled as he left the room leaving the three Durin's Sons alone.

When his brother didn't respond, Fili had thought maybe he fell asleep but suddenly his brother's voice resounded in his ears again.

_**“Irak'adad ’Arsmi...”**_

Fili turned his head in the direction of the chair Dwalin had been occupying, or he thought it was the direction, he had heard Thorin sit down.

“Aye. I know lad.” 

_**“Uslukh?”** _

Fili heard Thorin inhale sharply tensing for some reason, he was trying to remember what that word was, it was something of a creature. 

Why didn't he study more!?

_**“Ma Smaug mamarda.”** _

_'Oh he was asking about a dragon then.'_

Now he understood why Thorin had tensed.

_**“Fili, kunh adad?”** _

This time it was his turn to be startled, and he turned his head again to Thorin again after he'd heard him draw a breath. 

Fili was confused now, surely Kili wasn't serious

The older of the two dwarf-lings wasn't quite sure what to do. “I.... he..... T-Thorin....?” 

His uncle reached over Kili's frame to place a gentle hand on his shoulder giving it a reassuring squeeze. 

He licked his lips briefly, _**“M-Ma astu izlik?”**_

Thorin saw Kili furrow his brow seemingly unhappy with the response he got from Fili. 

Kili squirmed uncomfortably when he felt tears against his hot sweaty skin. _**“Kud?”**_

Fili took a deep breath, he honestly couldn't believe they were having this conversation.

_**“Murdhu.”** _

_'Please... don't make me say it....'_

The youngest dwarf gasped and Thorin wanted nothing more than to pull him into his arms, both of them for that matter. 

“Fili stop. You needn't say anything else.” he stated calmly. 

Kili's head shot up to stare at Thorin with big eyes again and Thorin found himself wincing at the hurt within those chocolate brown beads that stared back at him. 

Thorin ran a hand through his sister-son's hair and sighed. “My boy, _**’Adadzu khazr hifrunul.”**_

There was the lip quiver. 

_**“Ma s-shubutmi.”** _

Fili had started to sob quietly and buried his face into his brother's chest he knew Kili couldn't help it but actually having to tell Kili that their father was dead as if it were the day he fell... it was too hard.

Thorin had been the one to tell them that their father wasn't coming home, that he'd died in battle along side Uncle Frerin, their mother had been so stricken with grief having lost her one that he felt he should be the one to take the responsibility of the task. 

**~Memory Sequence~**

_He and Kili had been awoken by the sound of their mother screaming, but it wasn't a scream they were used to. It wasn't of anger or scolding this one was different it was chilling and it was frightening._

_They could hear their uncle Thorin's deep baritone voice lowered to an unnatural low even for him because it was delicate, and gentle almost like when he'd gotten stuck in a tree and he had to coax him to jump down into his arms._

_Quietly but with haste Fili got up out of bed and directed a loud 'shhsth' to Kili as he clumsily toppled out of bed._

_Seeing as Kili would follow him anyways, Fili picked him up with a bit of effort and crept around the walls of the house til they reached the dining room._

_Thorin stood there clad in armor that was stained with blood, and chunks of it was missing._

_Quickly Fili ducked them down behind the wall as to not be caught ease dropping on such a seemingly important conversation._

_“Why Thorin?! Why did you take him with you!?”_

_“He fought bravely sister, he fought for-”_

_“For what!? Treasure? A mine? For what Thorin?!”_

_The yelling was enough to make the both of them uneasy, their mom was so angry yet she was so sad, what had happened?_

_There was the sound of movement and then all hell broke lose._

_“Thorin let go of me! Get off me this instant! I hate you! How could you do this to me! To my family! My children!”_

_Fili dared to peer around the corner and saw Thorin wrestling their mom down onto her knees and she reminded the young dwarfing of an angry cat._

_'Why is Uncle Thorin trying to hurt mum!?' his mind thought frantically, only as he assessed the scene further he saw that he was trying to embrace her even though she kept shoving and clawing at against his hold._

_The struggle seemed to last several minutes but finally she gave up and just fell into Thorin's arms and started crying, she was sobbing and through all the mournful noise he could see Thorin's mouth moving as he whispered things in her ear._

_“If I had known that this would happen, I would have told him to stay here.”_

_Their mom suddenly jerked back and she landed a stinging slap to Uncle Thorin's face._

_Thorin released her and said nothing, she on the other hand said some stuff in Khuzdul they didn't yet know and ran to her bedroom slamming the door closed._

_Both of them could hear the devastated sobs from behind the door and Uncle Thorin wandered into the kitchen._

_Fili went in one direction of course he already thought that Kili would follow him but just as he reached the door and cracked it open he heard Kili's high pitched giggly laugh as he ran to their uncle._

_Thorin scooped him up but this time unlike all the other times before, he didn't smile he just pulled Kili to his chest into a tight embrace and Fili could see silent tears trickling down his face._

_'Wait a minute.'_

_Where was their dad?_

_Thorin had seen Fili by the door just staring at him with blue eyes that suddenly got considerably wider as realization started to develop in his mind._

_Taking a deep breath he walked over to the golden-haired lad and knelt down. “Fili.”_

_“Uncle Thorin, why is mum crying?”_

_From inside the room Dis let out another particularly loud wail, likely having heard her son's innocent but at the same time painful question._

_Ice blue eyes stared back at the dwarf-ling, but Thorin didn't say a single word he just watched him with sad eyes, almost waiting for something._

_He glanced around, their dad went with their uncle to Moria he and Thorin were supposed to ride back to the house together after the victory._

_His lip trembled and he held it in between his teeth to try to get it to stop, biting his lip nervously he raised his eyes to meet his uncle's sad eyes._

_“Thowin are you sad?” Kili's soft voice asked, Thorin paid no mind though and instead kept his eyes on Fili._

_“Uncle? Where is our dad, is he going to be home soon?” he asked shakily._

_He saw two tears trickle down their king's face, and he took a deep breath._

_Getting no response Fili's eyes filled with tears, that was never a good sign and as Thorin continued to sit there silently, Fili was able to piece together what had happened._

_“No....” he whimpered softly and soon he was pulled into a tight embrace and Thorin was sobbing softly while he held them both._

_“I am your father now.”_

**~End Memory Sequence~**

“He died that day with Uncle Frerin.” 

_**“Mohh?”**_

Thorin breathed a heavy sigh.

_**“Mabazgûn zai Azgâr Azanulbizarul zai shakâl Kheled-zâramul.”**_

Fili jerked away from Kili startled when he felt a sweaty calloused hand grab his chin, and his brother suddenly let out an ear splitting horrified scream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's Reunion part 1!
> 
> After next chapter you can say byebye to all the Khuzdul!! D: I make myself work to hard for you guys. XD But its worth it.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KHUZDUL TRANSLATIONG 
> 
> Reminders some of them are posted twice because I put them down in order of appearance.
> 
>  **“Fili, kulhu Jalainkhi darzûn!?”** \- What happened to your face!?  
>  **“Rasup men** \- I am okay.  
>  **Kulhu jalainkhi azgzu?”** \- What happened to your eye?  
>  **“E amrul astu.”**  - I love you.  
>  **“Nadad, Astu idrej.”** \- Brother you are acting odd.  
>  **“E amrul astu Kili.”** \- I love you Kili.  
>  **“Amrulmi astu ins gilkhal, nadad. Kud tâti?”** \- I love you as well, brother. What is it?  
>  **“Fili, Kulhu hudud? Astu ne asukh?”** \- Fili what's wrong? Can you not see?  
>  **“Kulhu Jalainkhi?”** \- What happened?  
>  **“Ah zabsh abod azge ra irak bunde. E ne asukh.”** \- His mace struck my eye and the side of my head. I can't see.  
>  **“Kulhu amma igneg imhili?”** \- What are we going to do?  
>  **“Irak'adad, Menu sigim bundul.”** \- Uncle, You are greater than words.  
>  **“Thorin, Ekespu menu men o targu men.”** \- Thorin, you mean more to me than my beard.  
>  **“E amrul astu?”** \- I love you?

_**“Fili, kulhu Jalainkhi darzûn!?”**_

The older dwarf bit his lip nervously, **_“R-Rasup men...”_**

There was a tense silence before Kili smacked him on the shoulder irritably.

_**“Kulhu jalainkhi azgzu?”** _

Fili was still reluctant to answer and both the older dwarrow let out exhausted sighs, Thorin brought up a chair which he sat on the other side of the bed behind Fili. 

Did Thorin need to explain this too?

He placed a reassuring hand on Fili's shoulder in hopes it'd get the boy to answer. 

Instead Thorin felt Fili's shoulders tremble beneath his touch and suddenly he was beginning to regret dragging the lad in here when Kili was in this state.

“Fili laddie you-” Dwalin started but halted when Thorin raised a hand. 

“Fili?” Thorin called quietly starting to think something was wrong.

Another pregnant silence filled the air until finally Fili's broken voice cut through it. 

_**“E-E … a-amrul... astu...”**_ the lifelessness within the young dwarf's voice made Dwalin cringe and Thorin swallowed thickly. 

Kili on the other hand had been stunned to silence, even delirious with fever to the point of hallucinating, he could still recognize the sorrow within his brother's voice.

Something was terribly wrong with Fili and he started to develop a feeling of dread. 

_**“Nadad, Astu idrej...”** _

Fili couldn't take it anymore and just broke resting his forehad against his brother's chest while small sobs shook his body. 

_'Who is going to look after him now that I cannot...?'_

The youngest dwarf let out a small squeak, he wasn't used to seeing his strong big brother such a wreck.

_**“E-E am-.. rul astu... K-Kili.”** _

Kili wrapped an arm around his brother's shoulders, **_“Amrulmi astu ins gilkhal, nadad. Kud tâti?”_**

Fili shook his head and that's when Kili saw it, the sporadic unfocusing twitch of Fili's right eye. 

_'No... is he...?'_

_**“Fili, Kulhu hudud? Astu ne asukh?”**_

His brother stiffened in his hold, but one look to Thorin told him everything. 

“No Kili, his vision has been lost.” Thorin replied, voice grim. 

_**“Kulhu Jalainkhi**_?”

_**“Ah... zabsh abod azge ra irak bunde. … E ne asukh.”** _

**_“K-Kulhu amma... igneg.. imhili?”_ **

Fili gave him a sad smile. “I cannot say, Tauriel thinks my right eye may heal enough that it could restore vision. Only time will tell, so you might have to keep her around for a while longer, even if Uncle wants to kill you for it.” 

Thorin's stern gaze turned to Fili, “What do you mean? Wait who is this Tauriel anyhow? Is she that elf-maiden? Kili what did you do?”

Fili snickered quietly, Kili's face flushed red for another reason besides fever for the first time ini hours, and Dwalin let out an aggravated tired sigh to rest his face in his hand. 

As frustrated as Kili was, he couldn't help the sheepish grin that came upon his face as he stumbled for words. “Ahm... **_“Irak'adad, Menu sigim bundul.”_**

Dwalin, Fili, and Thorin stared at the younger dwarf and there was a tense silence for about five seconds.

Until of course Fili's 'serious face' disappeared when the corner of his mouth lifted into a crooked smile and he let out a snort. 

Both the older dwarrow turned to him with a questioning glare, and Thorin squeezed his arm ever so slightly, so he quickly cleared his throat and put his 'serious face' back on. 

_**“Thorin, Ekespu menu men o targu men.”** _

Fili and Dwalin both dead-panned and now Dwalin was biting his tongue to try to stop himself from laughing.

Thorin sat there looking extremely unimpressed and the silence returned even though both Dwalin and Fili were trying to be 'professional?' and not encourage Kili's attempts to get out of trouble.

Fili's shoulders were shaking with silent laughter as he buried his face into his brother's chest, to try to stifle his giggles. 

When the silence continued his brother tried again. 

“Um...eh... **_E amrul astu_**?”

Thorin's crossed arms fell, and he just dead-panned not quite knowing whether to whack his nephew over the head for not having an explanation for himself, or hug him and just be thankful he was still alive.

His brother on the other hand, let out this shrill high pitched squeak, that was the start of a laugh but was silenced when he bit his lip.

_'Three... two... one....'_

Fili snapped and pulled back from his brother howling with wild laughter.

Dwalin lasted about two seconds before he joined in as well.

Thorin was trying to remain poker faced but of course there was that goofy grin that was suddenly plaster upon is youngest nephew's face and he couldn't help it either. 

“Aye, **E amrul astu**.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was shorter! I know guys sorry! I just really needed to wrap up the Khuzdul oh good god. Plus we're having storm weather down here and I hate tornadoes so I'm paranoid as hell. 
> 
> Hope it was alright guys. Don't worry the next chapter will be worth it. 
> 
> Mwhahaha momma Dis, oh Thorin you better run.
> 
> PS: That Kili trying to worm his way outta trouble tho.... lol


	18. Chapter 18

Oin was about ready to drop dead to the floor, it had taken two more days for Kili's fever to finally break and praise the ancestors it did. 

He was not only becoming more concenred for Kili's health but his own too. If he wasn't watching after the lad, then Thorin or Balin were.

Thoin being the stubborn dwarf that he's known to be, of course had injuries himself. 

Two ribs on his left side had cracked in battle, the fool had decided to not say anything and it wasn't until their king had bumped it just right that he caused further damage to himself, that he found out.

Durin's beard Thorin could be just as bad as Kili, and he chided Kili for being wreckless. 

He glanced over at the bed to the far side of the room where a still figure lay quietly.

Fili had been laying there for a day and a half, it had started around noon the day after he'd been reunited with his brother. 

He hadn't been the one who found him, it was Dwalin actually. The lad had gotten out of bed, likely trying to find the door if he really had to guess as to why he would leave his brother's side.

Dwalin found him on his knees forehead resting against the cold stone of the wall only five feet from the door.

The poor boy had been in hysterics, and he was surprised that the noise didn't wake his fevered brother.

Fili insisted that he wanted to go back to the other room and everyone understood why, except Kili who had still been in his delirious state. 

Shame. 

Even though he fought Azog and managed to wound him enough that Kili could take him down, even though he accomplished a much more than most, Fili was afraid of his brother's disapproval.

The thought of Kili disapproving of his brother in any way was absolutely ridiculous, but that was how low Fili'd fallen that day and he was still struggling to believe something he'd always believed in before the tragedy.

Fili and Kili always supported each other, even when one of them deserved a good smack to the back of the head. Fili had confidence that his brother could do anything he wanted and he'd remind him of that whenever his little brother was feeling otherwise. Like everything else dealing with the lads, whatever Feelings Fili had for Kili, Kili had the same feelings for Fili. Just like two mirrors.

In the aftermath of the battle, Fili was not only doubting his brother's acceptance, but he was also doubting if he deserved it. His spirits were completely crushed."

Now here he lay, he wouldn't get out of bed for anything. By the end of the first night Fili had cried so much that his voice went hoarse and he even became dehydrated as well.

The only thing he did managed to do was get the lad to drink some water, but he still didn't move from his spot of mourning. 

His best guess what that when Fili was told he was blind, he was still in denial and it wasn't until the hallway incident and seeing... well not seeing his younger brother that the realization hit him with an icy slap to the face.

Thorin had tried to get him out of bed to eat, but he wouldn't budge. He finally became so desperate that he tried to reason with Fili to get up for a couple minutes so he could stretch his legs.

Fili wasn't used to being helpless, and that's how he felt right now.

_'Poor laddie.'_

A distressed Dwalin came strolling into the room and by Durin he looked spooked. 

Oin grabbed his ear trumpet in case Dwalin had something to say, but his cousin cast his glance to Fili's motionless body and grabbed his arm, tugging him out of the room much to his confusion.

“What's the rush lad?” he asked putting his trumpet to his ear.

“Dis.” was all Dwalin needed to say before the older dwarrow was walking briskly down the corridors.

**~XXX~**

Thorin got up from his desk when he saw the familiar face of his sister enter the room. 

A tight lump formed in his throat. “Dis.”

She was wearing a blue dress and her dark hair was up, she still made sure she made herself look presentable people there yet or not.

A warm smile was directed his way and Thorin stiffened, how was he going to break this to her?

“You call for me yet you don't look that excited to see me. We haven't' seen each other for almost a year and a half brother.”

“I... apologies. How have you been sister?” 

The dwarrowdam frowned dragging a chair opposite of his desk and taking a seat, how unlike her older brother to stutter.

“Anxious, it has been lonely, it's been disturbingly quiet without you rousing up the pub all the time.”

“I do not drink that much sister, most of the time I was fetching your boys.” 

His eyes widened, damn that wasn't supposed to slip out, but he took a deep breath to compose himself.

“Ah yes, my boys. Fili's kept Kili in line I assume. I was hopeful that they would behaved themselves. Not too much grief dear brother?” 

Thorin bit his lip and shook his head, “No, they behaved just fine. Though Kili seems to have fallen in love with an elf-maiden.

Dis raised an amused eyebrow. “Elves? Oh that couldn't have made you too happy, and Fili?” 

“He took care of Kili the whole time. I didn't need to worry too much.” he whispered the partial lie.

“ I am sure I'll feel much better after I see them, I've missed them so. Where are they?”

Thorin pursed his lips, color drained from his face and Dis recognized that look in his eye and slowly rose from her chair.

“Thorin. Where are they?”

He didn't know what to say, _'Dis your sons are alive but one of them is bedridden and the other one has lost his vision.'_ oh yes that sounded like a death warrant. 

“Th-Thorin..... what happened?” the soft voice of his sister snapped him out of it, he could see her blue eyes turning glassy at the thought that he could tell her that one or both of her sons had fallen.

“They're alive... but some things happened....” 

Relief flooded her eyes and as soon as it was there it vanished and was replace with anger.

“What sort of things? What happened to them?!” 

“I... they were injured.... quite badly. Kili he was stabbed... and his hip was broken. When he was in the process of healing fever hit him hard, it finally broke this morning.” 

Dis stood there mouth agape, she couldn't' believe what she was hearing had she not given her brother specific conditions should her sons accompany him?

“And what of Fili?” she asked sharply. 

Thorin felt reluctant tears starting to burn behind his eyes, and he knew his sister had seen them already because her stance stiffened. 

“Thorin... you tell me right now what happened to my son or I swear to Aule King or not I'll beat you into next week!”

The older dwarrow swallowed the lump in his throat, “Fili.... he's lost his vision.... h-he was blinded.” 

Dis had to take a step back, horrified by the information that she was just given. 

“Dis I am so-” 

Thorin wasn't even able to finish thanks to a brutal punch to the face. 

He stumbled backwards and when she continued to come at him if he said he was shocked, he'd be lying, 

There was no way he was going to fight her right now, he deserved every bit of her rage. 

By the time Dwaln came rushing in with Oin, he was covered in blood from his broken nose and split lip, she'd broken his right wrist as well. 

Dwalin had to pry her off of him but she had stopped right away when her eyes rested upon Oin.

“Fili, take me to him.” 

Oin glanced from Thorin to Dwalin to the dwarrowdam again, her heated gaze met his eyes, “Now.”

Thorin dismissed him with a wave of his hand, an he led the distressed mother out of the room.

Dwalin leaned in closer to him, "Ye'r lucky she didn't kill you lad." 

"Aye, I think she would have, and still might."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay now, the next chapter's gonna be an emotional train wreck trust me.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here comes mommy ;_;

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Please read the notes at the end. Kind of important.**

“M'lady Dís?” Óin's voice sounded hesitantly as they walked the barren halls. 

“Yes, Óin?”

“If I may, I would like to speak to you before we go see the laddie.” He spoke, fidgeting with his ear trumpet. 

The dwarrodam thought for a moment trying to think which idea was more reasonable, going to see her badly injured son, or talking with the healer first.

“Do you feel that it is needed?” she asked taking the elder dwarf by surprise.

He was silent for a few seconds but stopped walking, with a nod of his head. “Aye, I think we do. He will be alright for by himself for a few minutes more.” 

She said nothing but turned to face him instead. 

“M'lady, your son lost his vision...”

Taking a deep inhale at the reminder since she had been told by Thorin already she calmed herself and waited for the older dwarf to continue.

“Thorin had been battling Azog alone, his body collapsed due to pain, which he claims was actually fatigue I might mind you...”

Dís snorted amused by the fact that she could picture Thorin saying those words, her brother was one of the most hard-headed dwarves she's ever known.

“Azog was going to lay the final blow, but Fíli intervened just at the last moment.” 

The look of horror that suddenly reflected off of her face made him cringe and he cleared his throat to get her attention back.

“He... what...?”

“Yer son fought against Azog the Defiler M'lady. Put up one heck of a fight he did, gravely wounded Azog's arm before their quarrel ended..” 

“What do you mean?”

“Azog's mace connected with the left side of the lad's face and one of the spikes impaled his left eye.” 

The gruesome details had her moving to the wall, so she could lean against it. 

“Azog threw him over the cliff side at Ravenhill, Thorin had been helpless to do anything. If it weren't for Kíli, our king would be lost to us.” 

The dwarrowdam's head shot up to stare at him in surprise. “Kíli? What do you-?”

“Aye, the lad killed the foul beast.” 

Slowly she raised her head to look at the elder dwarf with nothing but shock, she opened her mouth to respond but closed it when she realized she didn't even know how to reply to that.

“H-He... what?”

_'Kíli killed Azog?'_

“Normally if it had just been the mace that caused the damage to Fíli's vision, his right eye would have been spared but the laddie hit his head on the way down and I'm sad to tell you that he lost vision in both.”

_'Fíli....'_

“Tauriel an elf-maiden that Kíli's been wooing lately, performed some elven techniques on him that she hopes will eventually allow his right eye to regain sight. It is not for certain if it will or not.”

Dís bit her lip nervously, “Why are you telling me all this? I am already aware of his blindness.” 

Óin looked at her sadly and shook his head, “The shock of the injury and the condition itself didn't hit 'im with full force until a day after we were able to let Kíli see 'im.” 

“Laddie's in a very delicate state Dís. E's going to require patience and lotta reassurance to get through this M'lady, e's in the process of being put through something that drives most mad with grief.” 

He met her sad eyes, his own eyes hardening firmly. “Ye understand what I am saying m'lady?”

_'Would he really do such a thing? My Fíli?'_

She held her bottom lip between her teeth, “Aye, has he shown any signs of doing such action as of yet? Do you think he would decide that for himself?”

“E's been showing some for the past day and a half. I am not certain if he would as of yet, but in my time lass, I have seen even the strongest of warriors take their own lives to end their suffering. Most of those warriors who lose their vision in battle do end up doing so if they do not learn to cope with their condition.” 

Tears gathered in the woman's eyes, just hearing those words come from the healers lips made her want to sprint down the halls and embrace her son in a hug.

“He's not going to want to talk about it, if I know Fíli he will try to avoid talking about it at all costs.” 

“Aye, this is why you must be patient with him Lady Dís, you know your sons better than all being a mother. Ye cannot allow 'im to keep those emotions contained, you know how to get him to talk about anything, this is critical for him. You understand?” 

She nodded and gave a meek 'Yes' earning the healer's satisfaction.

“The lad's mourning loss, from his situation he feels he has failed everyone. Thorin, Erebor, you, even Kíli. E's accomplished a feat very few are capable of, yet he refuses to believe so, he's lost far too much than he should have for his age.”

The woman winced when she heard Kíli's name, it was so unlike her boys to feel insecurity around each other. If that was the case, she knew Fíli was a mess. 

“Has Thorin talked to him?” she asked, she didn't mean for the bitterness to seep into her voice because she knew Fíli would have wanted to seek consolation from her brother before he would Kíli, especially with this. 

She was concerned for Thorin as well as her sons at the moment, her brother was shaken with guilt that was clear enough.

Tense silence, “Ya also must understand that regardless of your brother's actions, this was not his fault Dís. Though your question, yes Thorin spoke to him. Lads found Fíli first, came back with Thorin and Kíli later, the moment he saw the laddie he went to him, gave them some privacy.” 

The rest of the walk to the room that Fíli was occupying was completely silent.

Once they reached it and Óin pushed the heavy oaken door open, Dís felt her heart pounding violently within her breast.

The quiet form of her son lay all the way across the room on a bed near the wall. His back was turned to them and judging by his breathing pattern he was sleeping quietly.

 _'Oh my poor boy.'_

Lowering her voice she turned to the healer once more, “Does Kíli understand?”

“He's been stuck with fever for quite some time, but yes I think he was able to comprehend Fíli's condition.”

“How long has he been like this Óin ?” 

“Poor laddie's been laying here for a day and a half since he finally acknowledged the severity of the situation.” 

The dwarrowdam couldn't remember the last time she had seen her oldest boy in such a state, in fact it may have been shortly after Vili was slain in combat.

“Has he eaten at all?” 

The dead silence that filled the air gave the answer away and she slowly turned to look at the elder dwarrow a bit surprised.

“That's what I meant Lady Dís. He's already shown signs. He needs you lass, he's goin' to need all of you.”

A couple tears dripped off her face as she took a deep breath, she was about to take a step forward when Óin stopped her once more.

“I'll shall give you some privacy, be wary lass he's very skittish at the moment be gentle with him. Though I reckon I needn't tell you this, you of all people.” he added the last part with a warm smile. 

Dís nodded in response. “Thank you Master Óin. I appreciate all you've done for him.”

After Óin dismissed himself, she closed the door quietly then turned to look back at the sleeping form on the bed once again. 

_'Fíli, my poor Fíli... life is being unfair to you right now, my poor child.'_

She made her way toward the bed until she stood by his bedside, staring down at him. 

Her bottom lip quivered and she had to force herself to keep calm, Fíli was hurting enough she didn't need him feeling bad for making her cry. 

Of course knowing Fíli he'd be a blubbering mess over that, yes that was her boy far too considerate for other people, just like his father was.

With a deep breath she lowered herself down to sit on the side of the bed, earning a sleepy noise of protest.

His hair was in such a state Dís would've thought he'd die of a heart attack had he seen it... but then she reminded herself that it was for that exact reason, he couldn't see it.  
A sad smile graced her lips and a couple more tears cascaded down her cheeks, if Fíli had he'd of begged someone to have done his hair for him by now.

Golden tresses were splayed about in a messy fuss, it was clean so he must have bathed not too long ago she could tell this by the way some of the waves of gold had dried. 

Quietly she reached down to run fingers through blonde locks, parting a section so she could braid it. 

“Fíli...” she called softly in that voice only a mother knew. 

Another tired whimper, but he shifted slightly this time.

“Fíli, sweetheart its time to wake up.” 

Feeling her messing with his hair, a shaking hand reached up to try to bat her hands away.

The smile that had formed on the dwarrowdam's face fell when she saw first hand how uncordinated her son had become, he couldnt' even find where her hand was and kept missing.

 _'Oh Fíli...'_

Finally giving up he lowered his hand again, his hoarse voice rang through her ears. “Kee quit it. M'tired.” 

"Fíli...."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost teared up writng the last part of this chapter.
> 
> Happy Memorial Day!!! 
> 
> Let us honor those who serve, those who have served, and those who have fallen serving. We owe veterans so much more than what we give them. 
> 
> I have something I'd like to say,
> 
> My grandfather Curtis L. Lewison a 2nd Class Radio Man aboard the U.S.S. Idaho Battleship and a crewman of the General N.B. Stewart in the Second World War and the General NB. 
> 
> In March of 2011 my grandfather was diagnosed with slow developing leukemia, my grandfather refused kemo because he didn't want to lose his hair, and how painful the process would have been. In November of that same year he suffered a stroke and was hospitalized for a while. 
> 
> When he came back home in January, we were all thrilled. Life was different of course, because he had been developing dementia for a while and it was getting pretty bad. Me and my mom moved back into grandma's house so we could help with him, we had to watch him so he wouldn't fall while grandma was out and about and we just wanted to make sure they would be okay. 
> 
> On September 1st, 2012 my grandpa was finally confined to his bed, the only reason we were allowed to keep him at home and not in a nursing home at this point was because my mother is a physical therapist and she deals with elderly patients every day so she made sure to keep a close eye on him,
> 
> I remember at one point I had made the comment to my mom that one of my biggest fears I had coming home from school every day was that I would walk in and he may have passed away in his sleep. My mom reassured me that it wouldn't happen but on September 17th, 2012 I woke up around 1:00 in the morning and went upstairs to get a glass of water, and I don't remember why, I may have been praying, but I stood outside my grand parent's bedroom and listened for a few minutes. As I was about to leave I suddenly realized something, my grandparents were loud snorers, and since granpa got sick it was more shallow breaths than snores, but I listened and I only heard snoring. 
> 
> Right then and there I remember thinking 'oh god please' and hurried up to the top floor and hesitantly knocked on the door of my mother's room. I was really quiet as I stood there in the doorway because I was close to crying, when she asked what was wrong the only thing I could say was "I think grandpa died." We had a baby monitor in the room by this time so we could hear if something was wrong, and sure enough we heard nothing. 
> 
> My grandpa had died peacefully in his sleep early in the morning, in his bed next to grandmas and it was utterly devestating, but his passing really made me straighten up my attitude on things in so many ways if I told you how I used to be before you'd not believe me. I had a job interview the day of the prayer service and when I went in there, my boss was surprised to see me standing there. She said it was okay I could come in tommorrow she didn't expect me to come today, but I had the interview anyway. The funeral day was also homecoming corination and everyone was stunned to see me too, this was a turning point in my life where I actually started to try to be social and its something I wish I had done a long time ago. His words of wisdom gave me self-confidence and taught me to remember that in the end when it comes to a decision nobody's opinion matters but your own. 
> 
> Looking back I recall the memorial day a couple of years before he had the stroke I was speaking with him about war and veterans since he was one.
> 
> "Grandpa, this day is dedicated to the veterans who serve and have served. Yet don't you think people should do a bit more, I've been reading some heart wrenching articles lately, of veterans, American veterans who are homeless. There are a good portion of the homeless in this country who are war veterans. We say we respect them, but yet these men and woman live in the streets. We tell them our country appreciates their service yet what do we do for them? A lot of veterans come back with PTSD and don't or can't get help. You told me that you had a hard time for a few years after you came home... do you regret serving?"
> 
> He looked at me, smiled and said "No." that was it 'No' it wasn't but a couple years ago that I understood his why he answered that way. Now I do, people who serve don't go overseas for themselves, not for some spit of land, they go over there to fight for the people on said spit of land. We owe them all so much more than what we give them, yet you don't see many complaining when things turn out bad for them in the end. 
> 
> Have a wonderful Memorial Day everyone.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good god! I make myself cry! To hell with it all! *Throws computer* Why do I do this to myself!!!?!

Fíli inhaled sharply when a voice he'd longed to hear for months now finally sounded in his ears. 

_'Mother...'_

Lip trembling he opened his mouth to speak but all that came out was a short keen, and he realized that he didn't even know what to say. 

The dwarrowdam stood there silently, just watching her son struggle to do something anything. 

Finally she heard him force something out, “M'sorry ma.... … .. M'sorry...” 

Those words were enough to force her to break down but she had to be strong for him, so she forced the despair to the back of her head and took a deep breath.

Another small keen, and another, and finally a soft whimper had Dís mentally counting how long until she knew her son was going to shatter. 

Yep, right then and there her boy's shoulder shook and pretty soon loud mournful sobs resounded off the walls. 

“Fíli, sweetheart you-” 

“I-I had … t-to... .. he.. lp... U-Uncle.... .. he w-would have …. I-I did.... .. .. my best.... M's-sor..ry... .. … I d-didn't want.... y-you to … .. l-lose … your l-last .. brother .. … I-I din't.. wan' lose h-him … I-I … didn't w-want.. … .. I-I'm so... so s-scared...” 

Upon his words, a couple tears dripped off her chin when she failed to hold them back. “O-Oh my precious child, you were so brave.” 

Golden hair bounced about when the young dwarf shook his head in response. “I-I'm … .. n.. ..not.... M'sorry m-ma.... I-I don't … don'....” 

With gentle hands she tried to roll him over onto his other side so he was facing her, but he fought against her hands and let out a shrill cry that made her pull them back altogether.

“Fíli why...?”

“N-No.... … p-please... .. don' l-look... n-not .. … not … y-you... M-Ma …” he begged desperately. 

None the less she rolled him over despite his protests and had to stifle her gasp by biting her tongue. 

The left side of his handsome face was covered with bruises, deep scratches, and gouges from where Azog's mace had left its mark.

“I... .. didn't.... … I didn't … want.. .. t-this....”

She swallowed thickly forcing her tears back again even though all she wanted to do right now was scream her own frustrations out. “Oh my precious Fíli, my baby... I love you so much.” 

Dís managed to sit him up and she wrapped her arms around him where he proceed to cry endlessly into her shoulder.

“I... tried... s-so.. … so h-hard... ma... I-I.... can't -”

Running her fingers through golden hair she tried to think of what to say to her distressed son, but what do you say to comfort this? For stolen vision? This was more difficult than she thought it would be. “Shh, I know Fili, I know you did, my son it'll be alright.” 

“K-Ki...li... .. oh Aule.. M-ma.. .. w-what is... what I-is Kíli g-going … who w-will … .. w-watch.... .. t-th...at .. idiot n-now?!” 

She snorted at that one, “Me silly. Do not fret I shall keep his tail in line just as I have for the past eighty-two years with you, and seventy-seven with you both.”

“I-I.... I can't... no... I c-can't do.. do.. this... .. please ma... I-I want to wake up now.. .. please.. … I wan' … to be.... b-back .. home... I-in .. .. the Blue M-Mountains!” 

“I-I'm sorry... Fíli, sweetheart you are not dreaming...” 

**~ - - - ~**

When Dwalin came strolling down the corridor to check on Fíli and Dís, he was nervous as to what he might find. 

Honestly he had not expected much noise coming from the room, but when he stepped in he was even more surprised that there was NO noise. 

Dís and Fíli were both sleeping, from the looks of it the lad must have cried himself weary and she fell asleep some time after still holding the younger dwarf tightly. 

Though, then there was the quiet figure clear on the other side of the room sitting in a chair, smoking his pipe as he thought over his frustrations.

Thorin's eyes bored into him as he watched him enter, he lifted his hands and did some sort of gesture and it took Dwalin a moment to realize he was using Iglishmek.

 _'Óin fears for Fíli's mentality.'_

Dwalin lifted his eyebrows at this, he hadn't expected that.

 _'What do you mean?'_ he signed. 

_'He said it is prudent that Fíli learns to cope and talk about this because he fears it may drive him mad to the point he'd take his own life if it came down to it.'_

The bigger dwarf's arms dropped to his sides, not quite sure what to say to that one.

Thorin's gaze was cast back to his sister and his heir.

Slowly he saw a sad smile start to form on his face when he turned back to him.

_'He looks so small.'_

His hard eyes softened slightly, _'He never did get very tall, isn't he an inch shorter than Dís?'_

Another smile that quickly turned into a troubled frown. _'Yes. That's right. I am still not used to seeing him so vulnerable.'_

_'Has she seen Kíli yet?'_

_'No. She's been by his side since I got here.'_

“Thorin?” a voice called and both of them jumped in surprise. 

They hadn't noticed that Dís had awoken, while they were communicating.

The king swallowed anxiously as he rose from his chair, he was expecting to see anger and hatred in his sisters eyes when he reached the bed, but all he saw was a deep painful sorrow.

It was an expression that he'd not seen since right after Frerin and Vili were slain.

“Sister?” he asked quietly. 

Her eyes sparkled as she stared up at him. 

“You did everything that you could to stop him?” she asked, though he could tell she was in desperate need of reassurance because her world was slowly tearing at the seems. 

A couple tears fell from his eyes as he brushed dark hair out of her eyes to tuck it behind her ear. “I did. I could no longer stand.” 

“Did that beast suffer?” 

Thorin was quiet, he didn't want to discuss Kíli quite yet. That was Kíli's tail to tell, as for Fíli... he knew he wasn't going to be speaking of the incident any time soon.

“Kíli will tell you all about it.” He paused to place a gentle hand on the young dwarf's cheek knowing he was too out of it to be wake at the moment. 

“I wish you could have seen him, he would be a better king that I could ever be. He didn't flinch, he didn't back down, and he would listen to not a word I said. As you say oh so often, fierce like a lion.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, free tissues at the door. I was going to charge them for $.50 each but, you know what I'mma be nice! Here!! Tissues for everyone!! But the two boxes right here are reserved for myself because I'm not even done with the sad stuff yet and I do not feel like being shocked by my keyboard again.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own the Hobbit or any of the characters here besides the random oc ones, that I just threw a name in for. Wish I did though!

It was but an hour after she had left Fili to rest peacefully, she needed to see Kili he was likely devastated over this as well.

When she entered the next room she found her boy sprawled out across the bed, his skin was still slick with sweat from the recently broken fever. 

He appeared to be sleeping soundly and though she wanted to let him get his sleep, she needed to see if he was alright. 

After she reached the bed she sat down, sitting in silence for several minutes her mind wandering a mile a minute.

**~ (Flashback) ~**

_She had been doing the dishes when Fili came into the house carrying Kili on his back with some effort since Kili had just recently surpassed his height two years ago at age sixty._

_Kili had a makeshift bandage wrapped tightly around his calf, a black eye and several bruises on his neck. He frowned as he pouted over the top of his brother's shoulders._

_In fact they were both a bit ruffled, Fili's right bicep was covered in several layers of binding and he had a bloody nose and a split lip._

_An exhausted sigh couldn't be prevented. “What did ye two do now?”_

_Fili smiled sheepishly at her. “We sorta got into a fight with a couple of men.”_

_A frustrated groan. “Aule, what on earth am I going to do with ye both?”_

_“We're just too much for this here crowd, aye?” Fili tried to humor._

_She turned around and crossed her arms, “So Kili, what did ye do this time?”_

_The older of the two brothers snickered quietly and the other one's pout intensified._

_“Oy! Why do you always assume it was my fault?”_

_“Kili, love most of the time it is yer fault.”_

_Fili chuckled again when he watched their mother grin slightly, likely because Kili had made an awful face at the comment._

_“Actually it was my doing this time, ma.”_

_“Aye?”_

_“Aye.”_

_She let out a frustrated sigh, “Durin's beard, it is always worse when yer the instigator. Okay Fili, what did ye do?'_

_“I may or may not have insulted one of their spouses.” he fessed, and even though he was trying to be serious the shiteating grin that was plastered on his face made the efforts appear non-existent._

_A disapproving scowl crossed her features but she let out a huff and turned back to the dishes._

_“And are ya satisfied with the results of such actions Fili?”_

_There was a tense pause and finally Kili grinned._

_“I have to admit Fee, that was a good one though.”_

_Dis ran her hand over her face and lout an aggravated groan. “You boys.”_

_“What? What in Durin's name have they done now!? I am not going to bail anyone out of trouble this time.” their uncle's baritone came from the doorway as he walked into the room._

_“Brother yer home early? Is something the matter?” Dis asked arching an eyebrow._

_“No. Dwalin came in and is going to work for a couple hours so I can have a moments peace before I go back in. There be some orders that are to be done by tomorrow morning yet.”_

_As soon as they had started to converse, Fili had snuck out quietly taking Kili with him, obviously since the boy was having difficulty walking._

_She nodded and turned her attention back to the dishes, “Ya might talk with yer first heir brother.”_

_Thorin looked up at her from where he'd sat down at the table to rest his exhausted body, “What was that all about sister?”_

_“Aye, the boys got into a scuffle with some men._

_Thorin's eyes narrowed in irritation at the word men._

_“He claims that he -.”_

_“KILI!!!! Get down here!” he roared furiously._

_Dis winced, that would be Thorin's anger voice._

_Even though she knew she should be used to it by now, she had been so surprised by Thorin's loud bellow that she failed to comprehend which name he called out._

_Throwing up her hands in defeat she tossed the towel down and walked outt the door._

_“I'll let ye deal with this! I am in no mood to listen to a screaming match!” she snapped over her shoulder and was gone._

_“But... but I-I didn't do anything!” came Kili's frantic voice from up the stairs._

_“Get your twit ass down here!”_

_Finally he heard footsteps in the next room and soon they had entered, however when he came around the table into his line of sight a look of frustration and embarressment crossed his features and he held his face in a hand._

_“Yes uncle?”_

_“I'm sorry son,” he paused to pinch the bridge of his nose between his thumb and ring finger taking a deep breath, “I meant Fili.”_

_A giggle. A snort. A whimper._

_Thorin dead panned, his eyes narrowing in annoyance upon hearing Fili upstairs. Kili having heard his brother trying to contain himself quickly turned around, no doubt to hide or prevent his own laughter._

_It really was sad when one knew their sons and or nephews so well that they could tell exactly what was to happen next._

_A snort. Another giggle. Another whimper. Another giggle. A squeak._

_The older dwarrow let out an irritated sigh. 'Here it comes. Three.... Two.... One....'_

_He heard a loud thud like something, or more someone, hitting the floor followed by Fili's obnoxious cackle which could likely be heard from the house next door._

_Kili of course couldn't help himself and slowly sank to his knees clamping two hands over his mouth to try to stifle some giggles until he heard Fili wheezing for air then he broke out into a fit as well,_

_“U-Uncle! Hahaha … oh Durin … hahaha .. I-it hurts! Haah!. K-Kee … ahahahaha... Kee tha-that was s-s-so haha perfect! bwhahahahahahah! S-So hahaha f-fu hahaha funn... ha.. funny! Haha D-Durins' beard Haha! Thor...in! Hahaha M'cryin! Ahahaha!” he forced out between his fitful giggles._

_Thorin's eye twitched in pure pissedoffness “Boy get down here immediately!”_

_Kili had been laughing too hard to be capable of standing, so he wasn't surprised when he felt Kili's hands on his knees when he tried to get himself back up._

_“D-Deaar uncle! Haha! M'right here! Ahha.. just like … tehehe.. y-you asked!”_

_Another piercing squeal from Fili had Thorin gritting his teeth to try to keep himself from laughing at the ridiculous noise the blond made upstairs._

_**“Silence!! Both of you!”**_

_The laughter halted completely for a total of six seconds before it broke out again, Kili fell back and was laying on the floor clutching his sides and Fili, was trying to catch his breath upstairs._

 _He let out an irritated groan and raised a hand to scrub over his face._

_A couple more thumps from upstairs and he heard the laughter getting closer til he saw Fili was trying to crawl to the top of the steps, having to stop and just lay on the floor clutching his sides for a moment several times before he managed his task._

_Thorin finally caved at this point and started to chuckle, then he was outright roaring with laughter when Fili fell down the five stairs because he was laughing so hard._

_Even then he was still entertained._

_“Hahahaha Uncle I- ahahahah c-can' heheh … nothing hahahah alike!”_

_The situation remained pretty much the same for several minutes, every now and then they'd think they were good, but Thorin would open his mouth to speak and the whole mess would start up again._

_Finally it was all done and Thorin spoke quietly._

_“Boy, why did you get assaulted by men?” he said in his 'disciplinary' Thorin voice._

_Fili gave him a smug grin that almost sent him off the walls had it not been for the words he spoke._

_“I may or may not have insulted one of their spouses.”_

_The indescribable expression on Thorin's face was hilarious, and soon he got a nod of approval. “That's my boy, good job Fili.”_

_Dis had come back into the house and stood observing from right around the time Fili had broke out laughing til right now made herself known. “Thorin Oakenshield!!”_

_The three of them looked at her, then met each others eyes, and started laughing again._

**~ (End Flashback) ~**

She couldn't help but smile weakly as the memory faded when she snapped back to the present. 

Attention switching back to her baby who was pretty much all grown up now, save for a few characteristics, she suddenly felt very, very old. 

A small sob reached her ears and her eyes darted down to meet chocolate brown already glassy with tears. 

“M-Mum.... I …. F-Fili.....” he babbled between sobs that made it hard to decipher what exactly he was saying.

Tears silently dripped off her face at his words, he sounded so different now.

She had been warned of his broken hip so an embrace wasn't much of an option, carefully she leaned down and placed a kiss on his temple.

“My Kili.... I love you sweetheart. Oh how I have missed ye so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought we needed to up the mood at least a little bit, the scene between Thorin, Fili, and Kili there was actually inspired by a fanart I saw on deviantART I'm searching for the link to it, so it should be linked shortly.


	22. Chapter 22

Dark brown eyes stared up at her, and the emotion with them was one of the most painful things she'd ever seen. 

Kíli reached up for her shoulder trying to use it to hoist himself up but she gently eased him back down and took one of his hands into her own. 

“Ye need to rest my darling.” 

He shook his head frantically, tears cascaded down his pale sweaty cheeks, opening his mouth again to speak through relentless sobbing. 

“M-Mum.. F-Fee... .. .. h-he ... … I... s-ome...... s-something... .. h-happe-” 

Unable to hear anymore she silenced him by pressing a finger against his chapped lips.

A couple clear drops dripped off her face, and by Durin she was trying her best to be strong for him, for the both of them... three of them. 

Thorin was clearly falling apart too.

Dís let out a shaky exhale of breath, and nodded her head. “I know love, his wounds run far deeper than what we can see on the outside too, and I'm sure yers do as well.” 

She gave his hand a small reassuring squeeze, which was returned after a couple moments of hesitation.

There was a tense silence and finally Dís changed the topic. 

"Thorin tells me that you've accomplished something he could not." 

He sniffled a couple of times but forced a weak smile. 

“A-Aye, Azog was felled by my blade... both of ours actually... Fíli injured his other arm.”

The dwarrowdamn smiled, and leaned down to touch their foreheads together. “I am so proud of ye two. Aye, I do not think that Aule could have blessed me with better sons.”

~ (One week later) ~

It had been about a week since their mother had arrived to Erebor, and once again she was gone back to the Blue Mountains.

Oh, she was going to come back, or she is supposed to. 

She was just going back up there to bring back the rest of their people who were still there, they hadn't bothered to try to get everyone moved back due to the situation.

Fíli was pissed, so far he had not made any progress with learning how to deal with his impairment.

He was a prince of the line of Durin and he had always taken some silent pride in it, but now as was supported by the strong arm that wrapped around his waist while he groped about so he knew if something was in his way or not, he felt nothing.

It seemed like it took forever to cross a damned room, well that is nothing compared to crossing a hallway!

“That's it lad, one step at a time.”

Dwalin's reassuring voice made one of his eyes burn as he tried to contain himself.

Anger. 

For the past few days that's all the young dwarf had been able to feel. 

In just the span of a week his sorrow had turned to resentment, fury, and jealousy that he was well aware he shouldn't take it out on the people around him. 

What worried Fíli the most, was that he could feel that fuse coming to an end and it was just a matter of time before he just exploded.

Thorin would try to talk to him, but to Mordor with Thorin! He was still angry with him.

While Thorin had been under the influence of the dragon sickness, he had done a great many things that were hurtful.

Yet the part that had stung the most was one of the conversations the two of them had in the treasury... and possibly some of the stuff that followed. 

His thoughts were interrupted when he lost his footing and jerked forward only for the arm holding his middle to tighten around him thus preventing him from meeting the ground.

Dizziness from the abrupt movements caused his head to spin and he let his knees buckle beneath him wanting nothing more than to just sit for a moment. 

The arm caught him again having misunderstood the intent on being lowered to the ground and he quickly became frustrated.

“Let go of me Dwalin!” he hissed dangerously.

“Fíli, calm down lad. Yer doing just fine relax, everything is fine.” Dwalin's voice reassured into his ear.

That was it, Fíli could have sworn he literally felt something snap in his head.

"For fuck sake Dwalin! T'is not! Everything is NOT fine! Ye've gotta be joking!” he bellowed furiously, squirming against the bigger dwarf's strong arms.

Dwalin didn't losen his hold, but he went silent at the outburst, Fíli's accent always came a slurring out when he went into one of his little tantrums, another trait he had in common with his mum, Kíli tended to lean more toward Víli's silent brooding which by the way if one hadn't noticed, Thorin did the same thing.

He remembered one time the two had gotten into a shouting match with Dís and both of them were so infuriated that he actually found the two dwarves sitting along the river bank in complete silence.

His heart ached for the lad.

“Aye, I came on this Mahal be damned quest to reclaim our homeland, t'see Erebor for the first time with m'own eyes! Now that I stan' in the middle of this damned rock I can' even do that! If I'd the slightest hint that this was t'be my fate, I'd of stayed home!”

Dwalin could feel the young dwarf shaking violently, he was starting to understand a little bit more now.

Carefully he turned Fíli around so he could pull him into an embrace, the body in his hold went rigid.

“Fíli I know ye hurtin' bu-”

That got him worked up again and Dwalin let out a grunt when the lad punched him square in the jaw.

“Don't ye talk to me like y'know what m'going through! I insisted that we go with the company, an' look what that foolish notion has earned me. M'brother nearly died three times, I've been beaten by my own uncle to the point he was actually going t'kill me, an' now the possibility of me ever seeing m'brother's face, the sky, anything and everything, is pretty much non-existent!”

He placed two hands on the young dwarf's shoulders. “Ya couldn't of known what was t'happen lad.”

Fíli jerked back and reached up to his face before angrily tearing the blindfold off. “Look at me Dwalin! Ye look at me and ye tell me wha' ya see now!” 

Dwalin swallowed thickly, the bruising had started to go away, but the deep lacerations and his gouged eye still distracted him from his handsome features that were once so perfect.

With a bit of hesitation he cupped Fíli's face with both hands and leaned down pressing his lips against the younger dwarf's, said dwarf letting out a squeak of surprise.

He ran his fingers through golden hair briefly as he pulled away, staring down at the dwarf-ling's face kindly.

“Fíli, yer jus' as beautiful as ye'v always been lad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right here's the spark! Hope you guys enjoy it!


	23. Chapter 23

Fíli couldn't stop his bottom lip from trembling.

After all this time, he finally got the answer to the question he'd been too scared to ask the larger dwarf himself.

If he'd of known Dwalin felt the same way he'd felt in silence since the day he turned sixty-eight he would have said something a long time ago.

Now... of all times, the timing of this just made all the anger he'd felt previously morph into a sorrow so painful he felt like he could wither up and die. 

“W-Why now? Why are you revealing this to me now?” he whimpered softly.

Dwalin swallowed he'd actually thought he'd stepped over his boundaries with that last stunt, but apparently he was painfully wrong.

“Fíli, laddie I didn't know ye felt-” 

The lad was trying to choke back the sobs that were threatening to rise from his throat. “I did... for the longest time.” 

Fíli closed the gap between their bodies, trembling arms lifted until he felt his hands hit the top of Dwalin's shoulders. 

The older dwarf was silent feeling the shaking hands groping at his body, fingers running down his arms until they found his middle.

Around this time was when he felt the prince's arms wrap around him in a desperate embrace where he proceeded to break down in a mess of tears and sobs.

“Fíli...” he spoke softly. 

“Do.... I still do .. … .. b-but now... now that I've l ... .. I don't even know if you -”

Fíli was cut off when Dwalin gently took hold of his chin and lifted his head, wiping away a couple tears from the right side of his face.

“Oh Fíli... how long laddie?” Dwalin's hushed voice reached his ears.

His words seemed to make the younger dwarf's sobs intensify and he waited quietly when it took a few moments for Fíli to calm himself enough to answer.

“C-Coming on ten and five years now.” 

Dwalin visibly paled, slowly wrapping his own arms around Fíli's smaller frame. He stared at one of the torches that lit up the hallway.

_'He's been waiting for me to notice this for almost fifteen years? How could I have not noticed!?'_

Taking the lack of response as a bad thing, Fíli started to speak again and his voice was soft, barely audible, yet clearly full of self-loathing and suffering.

“I-It doesn't matter now.” 

The older dwarf stiffened at the sorrowed words, mouth dropping open in shock.

He was confused, what in Durin's name did that mean? Of course it mattered!

“By my beard! Mahal's ponies it doesn't! Fíli, what are ye saying.”

Fíli swallowed nervously, “It shouldn't... look at me Dwalin, there is no way that you could want m-”

Dwalin huffed and cut the younger dwarrow off when he pulled their lips together once more, he pulled away as soon as he felt the lad start to kiss him back, and he couldn't help but smirk at the small frustrated pout that seemed to unintentionally form upon his face.

He took Fíli's hand in his own before looking back down the hall to his bedroom that they had been coming from to go find Thorin.

“Come with me.” he ordered with a soft chuckle.

**~ X X X~**

It took a couple minutes but finally Dwalin had led the younger dwarf back into his bedroom, to hell with it all. 

Thorin can wait a moment.' Dwalin mused quietly. 

Once they were in the lad's bedroom, he quietly closed the door and swooped the golden haired-dwarfling off his feet right into his arms.

Fíli's cheeks flushed a light pink at the action.

“Oy! Dwalin put m'down! Where are we going!?” he yelled causing Dwalin to chuckle softly at his little tantrum.

Dwalin approached Fíli's bed where he lay him down upon his back with care one would give the finest of crystal. 

The young dwarf recognized the feeling of a mattress beneath him, and his blush intensified and he let out a small 'Oh.' in response.

He bit his lip when he felt a stir in his loins at Fíli's sudden coyness.

“Fíli, in m'age fifteen years feels like a bat of an eye, but there be days where I c'n remember when it would seem like forever.”

The pupil in Fíli's right eye twitched slightly to the left as if he were trying to look around, as he took a shuddering breath.

“Ye must think that life hasn' been fair t'ye for a long time, more so now than ever.” 

Fíli felt the bed dip underneath him when Dwalin climbed onto the bed with him, he shook his head quickly. “Dwalin.... y'don't want thi-”

Rough calloused hands cupped both sides of his face. “Aye, I do Fíli... Azyungal.”

He saw the lad's ears perk at the last word, and his eyes welled with tears that quickly spilled to roll down his cheeks.

“Oh Fíli, please don' cry laddie.”

A sad smile came to his face, had the lad really thought he wouldn't want him just because he was blind?

Dwalin felt Fíli's shaky hands at the fabric of his tunic, fingers digging into the cloth while he pulled him closer til he could touch their foreheads together.

“I-I've been wanting you... like this... .. for so long, Dwalin... if you are certain. Please... do me one thing...”

“Anything, azyungal.”

Fíli tipped his head up so that he could catch his lips in a brief chaste kiss.

“Don' make m'wait any longer?”

The older dwarf inhaled shakily at the soft purr the lad was suddenly using, he felt his cock twitch in response. 

Honestly, he really shouldn't make their king wait.

Torn between rational thoughts and his own desire he hesitated.

Fíli's lips were on his jaw, nibbling gently his flesh.

That was all the push he needed, both hands tangling into golden tresses lowering himself down against the body beneath his own.

Fíli felt a calloused hand grip his chin tilting his head up and to the side giving the older dwarf access to his neck which was instantly assaulted by a pair of aggressive lips. 

A small whimper tore from his throat at one particular harsh nip that was given to the tender flesh, when he started to tug at the hem of Dwalin's tunic. 

“Jus' let me do the work laddie.” the powerful voice hummed into his ear.

Actually he could hardly call that a hum, more like a raspy purr. His voice rough yet desperate, it was clear he was slowly losing his self-control.

Fuck! Mahal's gates, that husky voice made his body shudder with anticipation.

He felt Dwalin's hands on his undershirt, he hadn't bothered to get dressed up to 'regal appearances'.

Oh, sorry regal appearance is apparently what Thorin called, dressing properly from what Kíli had told him. 

Kíli had laughed so hard at the term that he had actually woke Thorin and half of the people on the same floor. 

Admittedly he probably hadn't helped any because when they both heard Thorin's infuriated roar, he started to laugh too. Which of course made Kíli laugh harder, and vise-versa as it normally did when they were amused.

Kíli would start laughing. Then he'd start laughing which made Kíli start laughing harder. Then he'd start laughing harder hearing his brother's high-pitched giggles, well that or his goofy grin.

To be fair, they both had obnoxious laughs. Sometimes depending on the amusement, the cycle would keep going until they were both on the floor crying and clutching their sides.

Normally when that happened, it was because they pranked Uncle Thorin, unfortunately to go along with it they got chewed out, received spiteful insults, or a smack to the back of the head.

Most of the time it was worth it though.

Honestly, that must have been one of the few times he'd actually been able to laugh since the gravity of his injuries had sunk in.

What happened when Thorin entered the room, well he need not explain.

Uncle Thorin's anger voice.

Though it also had a lot of other names.

_'Kíli you twit!'_

_'Kíli I'm going to knock you into next week.'_

_'Fíli you are supposed to be more mature than your brother.'_

_'Fíli do not encourage him.'_

_'Kíli you stubborn reckless fool.'_

_'Fíli you reckless dwarf think your plans through.'_

Then last but not least the famous, _'Dís, this is why my hair started turning gray, to Mordor with the damn dragon, your boys are the cause of it.'_

Dwalin's hands moving his arms up so he could remove his shirt snapped him back to the current events.

“Uncle's going to be upset with you.” he managed to breathe out.

“If had known this Fíli, I would 'ave made a move ages ago.” Dwalin's deep voice rumbled low in his throat, lips moving to meet his again.

Fíli could feel the warmth that was beginning to form in his stomach and a mischievous grin spread upon his face when the older dwarf pulled away.

“An' what are ye' grinning for laddie?” he purred and occupied himself with peppering kisses along his neck, nipping here and there.

Fíli let his hands wander down the older dwarf's chest, stomach, until he felt the firm bulge confined beneath his breeches.

_'Thorin's going to be so pissed at this.'_

With that last thought he groped Dwalin roughly which earned a small shout of pain.

“Ye naughty lil' shit.” he grumbled lowly.

Fíli laughed loudly, he couldn't even help it. “That's for making m'wait.”

“I guess we be needing some catching up.” the older dwarf murmured, flicking at a nipple eliciting a low moan in response.

“Aye, but ya might want to hurry before Thorin walks in.”

It was Dwalin's time to smirk as he unlaced the blond's breeches. “Are ye sure it's Thorin walkin' in that yer worried about? Or could it be yer trousers breakin' yer prick laddie?”

Fíli flushed a dark red, admittedly that was another factor. 

“I... that's... not.....”

Dwalin chuckled as the boy stuttered over his words.

A small pout now played over Fíli's lips due to not having a comeback for that one.

Once he'd stripped the young heir of his pants a smirk immediately sprang to the warrior's face.

“Oh lad, commando?”

“Aye?” Fíli stated, trying to keep a straight face. 

Dwalin snorted at the response.

_'Cocky lil' bastard.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are gonna heat up here really fast. 
> 
> Oh dear Dwalin, you better watch out for Thorin.
> 
> EDIT!!! Friday June 26th!!!
> 
> I just realized that when I posted this a small section of the chapter must have accidentally been deleted! It's up now!


	24. Chapter 24

Thorin Oakenshield was a name that was known through Middle-Earth for decades. The story of Erebor and Smaug was one that was by no means unpopular. 

Hell it was one of the greatest calamities of the age.

There were several other things besides being the prince and heir to Erebor that made his name spread about.

Stubbornness, strength, determined, his sense of honor, and as well as a quick temper. Were traits that were noted and could easily be confirmed through one meeting with the heir within to the line of Durin. 

One could also add being driven by pride.

Regardless of any of these things, there was one thing that had always been evident that people failed to pick up on, besides other dwarrow folk of course.

Though he often made his motives come off in the wrong, Thorin had always been thinking about his people. 

Going to Erebor for a crown? That was ridiculous. 

Why was it that the Smaug was allowed to drive them from their home, why was it that hundreds even thousands of lives had been lost when that foul reptile stole what they valued most and in the end he got to keep it while his people struggled as they had for the past few decades?

If he regretted anything he'd done within his life, it would have been going to Moria. 

Far too many died that day, it was also a day where hope had started to diminish from his eyes. 

He could guarantee that if things had gone as wrong as they could have in the Battle of the Five Armies, Moria would have been put in second place on the list.

As he stood in this throne room, a room that was beginning to make him uneasy when left to his thoughts within it, he felt though the battle was still raging. 

It was ironic, he brought this company together to take back Erebor, fought and won a war, and in the aftermath everyone was at each other's throats. 

Fíli, his bright cheerful nephew had turned bitter and angry in the wake of his injuries. 

He was well aware that he deserved all his anger and bitterness but that didn't make the guilt any easier to deal with.

Letting his mind drift toward his heir he couldn't help but let out a tired sigh, he had heard from Óin the importance of Fíli healing mentally and at this rate with him so angry and spiteful toward everyone he was starting to question whether or whether not that was actually possible.

“Thorin.” 

He couldn't help but gasp, jumping slightly having not heard anyone enter the room. 

Quickly regaining his focus he saw their hobbit standing in front of the throne, staring at him with a worried expression.

His eyes softened a little, it was comforting to see that the half-ling hadn't been scared off by his... previous behavior.

How he regretted those words and actions.

“I'm terribly sorry, I hadn't meant to startle you.”

Thorin snorted. “I just hadn't heard you come in.”

Bilbo smiled softly, “I suppose my services have come to an end, my king.”

Blue eyes widened in surprise at the title Bilbo had just spoken aloud, the word seeming foreign coming from the Hobbit's lips.

The shorter man felt like he was dreaming when he saw Thorin shoot him a genuine smile. 

_'Since when did Thorin actually smile like that? Has he ever smiled like that?'_

“Please, my name is enough, for I've not acted like a king among you of all people.” 

There was a tense silence that took place and the two just stared at each other.

An awkward clear of the throat from the Hobbit, “I shall be returning to the Shire here in a couple of days.”

Thorin's eyes widened considerably then became sad, almost pleading much to the Hobbit's stupor.

“I hope I've not made you feel like you are not wanted here master Baggins.”

Bilbo was silent for a few moments before he shook his head, sending curls bouncing about. 

“No. It's not that Thorin, this is not my home. My home is far away from here clear across Middle-Earth in the Shire. It is where I must be.”

The dwarf nodded in acceptance. “I shall accompany you.” 

“What – I... no- you're a king Thorin, you cannot just go wandering about!” 

Thorin lifted a curious eyebrow, “And just why not?”

“I – well.... you....its..... you have a kingdom!” 

“Aye, that I do.”

Bilbo flailed his arms frantically, “So you can't just leave them in their time of need!” 

“Fíli can take care of-” the smirk that had formed upon Thorin's face disappeared almost as quickly as it appeared.

His blue eyes suddenly showed nothing but troubled thoughts after he'd cut himself off.

The Hobbit's arms dropped to his sides, and he watched the king sit and berate himself over the incidents that had taken place.

“Thorin.” he spoke quietly but received no response nor indication that the dwarf had heard him. 

Standing in silence for a bit longer he felt his heart throb painfully when he saw those eyes avert to the floor, both glassy despite the scowl on Thorin's face.

 _'Is he crying?'_

He could see Thorin's fingers clawed against the armrests as his thoughts wandered elsewhere.

Yes, he'd known Fíli as his first heir had been trained in not only combat by the older dwarf but the royal customs as well, so he was already being prepped for being king someday. A few days since very few had returned to Erebor at the moment, Fíli would have been able to handle.

“Aye, it seems that I must agree with you.”

Bilbo approached the throne where Thorin sat, head still lowered and let out a small sigh.

“Thorin please, you mustn't blame yourself for what happened, the only one to blame right now is Azog and your nephew was avenged. The foul beast is dead, now's the time for healing.”

The dwarf sent a weak smile at the Hobbit and reached an arm to place his hand on the man's shoulder. “You have my gratitude in your words Master Burglar, but unfortunately it doesn't make the sorrow any less difficult to bear.”

“I know.”

“May I request something of you Bilbo Baggins?” 

“Of course, anything.” 

“Would you consider at least staying until things have calmed here? Óin says that Fíli will need someone with whom he can talk about his condition with.” 

Bilbo blinked trying to register what was said and why in Yavanna's good name he was better suited than the young prince's family.

“Uh... of course but ah- why do you think I woul-”

“So far the lad's not spoken a word regarding his injury to his mother, brother, nor even myself. I figure you might be better suited for the task as much as I would love to do it myself. You Hobbit's seem to be.... less....... aggressive.... which might be what he requires right now.” 

_'Oh now I get it.'_

“If you think I could help him, I'd be glad to stay here for a while longer.” 

Thorin rose to his feet and Bilbo soon found himself being embraced by the dwarven king's strong arms. 

“Thank you Bilbo, now I should probably go check on him actually, would you care to join me?” 

“I don't see why not.” 

With that the two strolled out of the throne room and soon into the large halls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy..... Bilbo will probably regret deciding to come along.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! I know it's been a while! I'm still trying to get in the swing of this again, been super busy lately!!

“Might I ask how is he doing Thorin? Fíli?” Bilbo asked as he walked along side the dwarven king.

The hesitation did not go unnoticed by the hobbit, he could see the Thorin's brow furrow as he tried to find the words to respond.

“He is... resentful, I see Dís's hot temper quite frequently.”

When Thorin spotted the brief confused expression upon the hobbit's face something dawned upon him.

“Bilbo, you have not yet the chance to meet my sister have you?” he asked stopping in his tracks to stand beside the shorter man.

“Well, actually to be honest it's more like I felt giving everyone some space was more important.”

Thorin's gentle smile made his heart flutter, and he went quiet as the dwarf turned around. 

_'She should be back by now, I sent her that raven shortly after she left because I needed to speak with her briefly. It was returned.'_

“Come with me.” 

Curious as it was the small hobbit didn't protest to the change of direction. 

“Master Baggins, tell me about the Shire.” Thorin inquired out of the blue. 

The question shocked Bilbo a bit, that was one he wasn't expecting. 

“Oh, well... it's a lot different than what you're accustomed to, that I'm more than certain.”

He paused trying to think of how to explain but just as he opened his mouth to continue Thorin's surprised voice got his attention. 

“Dís, what in Durin's name?”

Turning his attention down the corridor they had just turned into, Bilbo saw the dwarrowdam walking down the corridor at a quick pace but as soon as she saw Thorin she froze eyes blown wide in what looked like discomfort. 

“Are you alright sister? You look like you'd seen a ghost.” 

“Aye, everything is fine.” she blurted out quickly.

Thorin made such an odd face that the hobbit he almost laughed but the dwarrow woman's voice diverted his attention.

“You must be Mr. Boggins, the hobbit I be hearing so much about.” 

Bilbo ran his fingers through his hair nervously, 'Very much like Kíli.'

“Ah, yes, Bilbo Baggins at your service.” 

Thorin chuckled softly and placed a hand upon the small hobbit's shoulder. 

Unless Bilbo was being paranoid, he could have sworn he saw a troublesome gleam in the woman's eyes that he normally was terrified to see in Kíli's or Fíli's when they were plotting.

Dís smirked playfully. “It's a pleasure to finally meet the one who helped my brother keep his head on his shoulders.” 

The king scoffed at the claim before responding, “Master Baggins has contributed to this quest a great deal, we would never won back the mountain if it wasn't for his hard working efforts.”

A light blush rose to Bilbo's cheeks, “I should hardly say I helped that much.” 

There was a brief awkward pause so Bilbo decided to make conversation, “You are Fíli and Kíli's mother?”

Thorin let out a groan scrubbing his hand over his face, he knew the hobbit was trying to break the silence but he'd been over this several times. 

“Aye, that I am. I hope the two troublemakers didn't give you a hard time.”

The half-ling gave a nervous laugh, "Well, they were the ones who started throwing my dishes around in my home."

Dis laughed in response, "Aye, that sounds like my boys."

“We were just on our way to check on Fíli.” Thorin announced.

Bilbo could have sworn he saw all the color leave the dwarrowdam's face.

“Ah, I was just there brother. He's resting.”

A frown formed upon the dwarf's face, “Resting? I had sent Dwalin to go get him.”

Dís opened her mouth to respond but she fell quiet again, not quite knowing what to say.

Something was obviously not right, and Bilbo could see that Thorin clearly caught onto this as well. Then again the way he quickly brushed past his sister gave that away more than his stoic facial expressions.

“Thorin wait!” 

Ignoring her protests, Thorin rounded around corner heading into another corridor with such hastened strides that Bilbo had difficulty keeping up with him.

“Thorin I.... I'm having..... could you ….. Thorin!” Bilbo stuttered as he trotted along side the dwarf. 

The king didn't slow, if anything he quickened his pace and it was then that the Hobbit noticed that Dís had given up gone the other direction.

“What on Earth is the matter. Thorin slow dow-” 

Bilbo stopped short and skid to a halt when a strange resounded down the hallway.

Thorin's pace had slowed and soon he stopped in his tracks as well, and the hobbit could have sworn he heard the dwarf let out a small squeak. 

The scandalized expression upon the king's face as he turned to look at him about made Bilbo start laughing. 

**~XXX~**

“Nghh, Mahal.... fuck!” Fíli groaned loudly.

The gruff chuckle in-between Dwalin's heavy pants rang through the young dwarf's eyes. 

“Ye might wan' ta turn it down a bit laddie.” 

Another loud moan, this time purposely dramatic was the response to his statement and Dwalin had to resist the urge to start laughing. 

“Thorin'd be pissed if he heard that noise and the cause beh-”

Before he could finish, the heavy wooden door to Fíli's room slammed open so hard it bounced back off the wall.

Both of them stopped immediately, and Dwalin watched as the lad tensed beneath him, his eyes despite their lack of vision instinctively blown wide from the shock. 

Looking over his shoulder, Dwalin indeed saw Thorin standing there with an indescribable expression upon his face. 

Soon their hobbit joined to stand beside him and a small squeak escaped his throat, Thorin's expression soon turned to mortification to scandalized as he quickly pulled the Hobbit in front of him and clamped a hand over his eyes.

Dwalin had to bite his tongue at the action, he'd known for a while that Thorin fancied the half-ling. 

“Ah... Thorin, I must ask, is this really neccesa-”

Bilbo's voice drowned out when Thorin's outrage finally broke free.

“WHAT IN DURIN'S NAME IS GOING ON!!!” 

Fíli laughed nervously, unsure of what else to do.

 _'Oh Mahal he's so pissed....'_

“Well... uhm... Uncle you see..... we.... were....” 

Thorin stood there with a scandalized expression waiting for the boy to explain himself. 

Unfortunately Fíli didn't know of a good excuse so he decided to be blunt and be honest.  
After clearing his throat he spoke, “ Uncle, my King …. we.... were in the middle of fucking.”

Dwalin stared at Fíli with a horrified expression for a moment then looked nervously back over at his king.

Thorin deadpanned and his hand fell from the Hobbit's face to drop down to his side. 

Bilbo's mouth had fallen agape, eyes equally as shocked as Dwalin's. 

A tense silence grew thicker in the air, and Bilbo slowly slinked back to Thorin's side to be out of the way when he felt the king's body start to shake with fury he was trying to contain.

Dwalin had by now climbed off the bed and working on the task of trying to lace his trousers while keeping his eyes Thorin watching him for an attack. 

Come it did, Thorin rushed forward and shoved him against the wall. “You would dare-”

“Thorin Oakenshield!” the outraged voice of his sister fumed when she walked in. 

Thorin's attention switched over to the dwarrowdam and his gaze was equally as furious. 

“You knew of this.” he snarled accusingly.

“Aye, I did.” 

Gritting his looked back at Dwalin with a fierce glare. “I should bea-” he started but trailed off when someone else's voice roared over his own.

“Enough!” 

Thorin's eyes widened in surprise as he along with everyone else slowly turned their heads to look at Fíli, who had pulled himself so he was sitting on the edge of the bed and was currently wrapping one of the sheets around his waist. 

Anger flashed in the king's eyes once more but he released the bigger warrior and turned to face him one last time. 

“Díssmi-.” 

“I said enough!” Fíli hissed bitterly. 

The blond rose to his feet abruptly, and Dís afraid he'd lose his balance went to grab him but he shrugged her off. “M'fine ma.” he reassured, lowering his voice.

Dwalin cleared his throat, “E's right laddie, m'gonna take my leave for now.” 

Fíli swallowed thickly, but nodded “I'll speak with ye later.”

Bilbo cleared his throat awkwardly, “If I may, might I accompany you?” 

Dwalin glanced over to the Hobbit, to Dís, then to Thorin before he finally concluded that might be a good idea. “Aye, I'd like that.”

With that the Hobbit and the dwarf left quietly, leaving the tension that remained in the room.

Thorin was livid, he understood that Fíli was angry with him for many things, but how dare he disrespect him in such ways. 

Dís could sense the unease, and she herself wasn't pleased with the attitude from he son.

“Fíli...” Dís' gentle voice broke the silence, “... love yer hurtin' we know, but ye still need to show your uncle some respect.” 

“He deserves no respect from me.” Fíli spat coldly. 

Thorin's eyes flashed with fire at the statement; “Boy! You are treading on thin ice!” 

Slowly Thorin started to approach his angered nephew and when his sister stepped in his path, Dís watched as her older brother indicated for her to give them space and move aside. 

She opened her mouth to protest but a sharp threatening glare that read loud and clear 'Move or I'll make you move' persuaded her and as reluctant as she was, backed up a little bit.

He could see Fíli's ears perk as his heavy booted footsteps stopped in front of him.

To Thorin's utter surprise and Dís' horror, they watched as Fíli stood tall, broadening his stance and squaring his shoulders. 

Thorin's eyes filled with nothing but rage seeing that Fíli was actually challenging his authority. His body was actually starting to tremble more noticeably he was barely keeping his anger in. 

“Thorin-” 

“Silence.” Thorin hissed viciously which immediately made the dwarrowdam go quiet.

Turning his attention back to Fíli he tried to will himself to calm a little before he spoke in a firm voice. 

“Is this what it's come to Fíli? After everything we have been through, coming all this way... we've accomplished? After everything I have done for you and your broth-” 

Fíli's face lit with an outraged snarl. Who in Durin's name did his uncle think he was, he'd done a lot for them, oh yes, he'd also taken things from them. 

He knew he was crossing his boundaries but he honestly was fed up with the charade, taking a brave step forward, their chests were almost touching. 

“Hold your tongue!!” 

Thorin's eyes ignited with something terrifying, and his hand moved before he could even think it through, however the shout of pain he heard didn't belong to Fíli.

Fíli flinched at the noise, mouth dropping open in surprise. All the anger diminished from Thorin's eyes instantly as he realized Dís had moved in front of him knowing that her son wouldn't be able to brace himself for the blow. 

The force of the backhanded slap had her with her face to the side, she took a few deep breaths trying to calm herself. 

“Dís I-” 

Completely ignoring her brother, she spoke to her son quietly. “Fíli... that is enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to attempt a steamy smut scene, but I hadn't written one for quite some time, I'm not even kidding I literally I had one all written out and then I looked at it and was like "What the hell is this fuckery?" , due to the poor quality due to my rustiness so I took it out. Sorry my lovelies I'm gonna have to wait to practice some more, gotta get back into the swing of things! 
> 
> HOPE IT WAS WORTH READING THOUGH!!! I know you've had to wait what..... three...or was it four.... months for another chapter. So I hope I didn't disappoint!! I tried to give it more of an emotional bang, but if it didn't spice it up that's alright! I'll get my style back pretty soon.


	26. Chapter 26

Kíli let out a sigh, this really sucked. 

He hated lying in bed for so long, he wanted to get up and move around!

Unfortunately with his broken hip, he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. 

His heart pained for Fíli, his brother had been through a lot as it was. Losing his sight was taking a toll on him emotionally. 

**~ Flashback ~**

_Screaming, fire, blood, and death. That is all Kíli could see as he watched the vast land before the mountain._

_How could their uncle go to war over gold?!_

_It was madness!_

_Now as he stood upon the top of the lookout alone, he didn't even know what he should think._

_The only word he could use to describe this war was 'Cruel' , Thranduil here for a handful of jewels. Men here for the just cause of their share of the treasure so they could rebuild their lives. The orcs.... well he didn't rightly know what they wanted, probably to cause pain and suffering because that's what they did wherever they went._

_Everyone else had long since left the rampart, unable to witness all the carnage and death in front of their eyes._

_Smaug had taken everything from the people of Laketown, they came to them for aid, and their uncle bat a blind eyes to their hardships even though he knew them all too well._

_Tears welled up in the young dwarf's eyes, this must be the Gold Sickness that Balin had spoke of. He'd known that for a while actually, his uncle would never turn someone who'd lived through dragon fire away._

_Everything was a mess!_

_He continued watching the scene unfold, shuddering when he saw a weaponized troll take out seven dwarves from the Iron Hills with one sweep of a mace._

_Would they live through this? The odds even with Elves, Dwarves, and Men.... there were so many Orcs._

_“... it's awful isn't it.” he recognized is brother's voice, so rarely accented with a sorrow and guilt._

_Kíli swallowed, “Yes... yes it is....”_

_He felt Fíli's comforting hand upon his shoulder and he took a shuddering breath._

_“M'starting to regret coming on this quest.”_

_Fíli looked at him a little surprised, Kíli had been more excited and eager than he for the quest to Erebor._

_There were a couple times he'd voiced wishing they'd stayed home, and Kíli would get defensive or offended at the statement._

_Normally, the change of attitude would be sure to bring a small smile to his face but given the circumstances... he knew what he meant._

_“I didn' expect this Kíli... and I don't think Thorin would have either. If that be the case, I think he would have told us t'stay with mum.”_

_“You think it's the Dragon Sickness?” Kíli asked quietly._

_“Aye, I'm pretty sure.”_

_“I cannot understand.. Uncle would go to war over gold... it's... it's disgusting...”_

_Fíli let a soft hum come from the back of his throat, “I don't think it just be gold Kíli.”_

_Brown eyes slowly flicked to meet his brother's gaze. “What do you mean?”_

_The older dwarf was deep in thought as he spoke that was very much obivious, “I think e's scared.”_

_Kíli scoffed bitterly, “Well there's an entire army of elves, men and orcs out there. I'd be-”_

_“Not them.”_

_There was a small pause and finally Fíli started to speak again._

_“The mountain, Thorin told us stories for as long as we can remember, we've always known how he longed to return, it be his home. Our home is in Ered Luin, that is all we'd ever known. If the quest had failed and we couldn't return to the Blue Mountains, I would be distraught too.”_

_“This wasn't a journey just to reclaim his rightful title as King Under the Mountain, it's more complicated than that. I think he's afraid of having to leave again, and the Gold Sickness is making those feelings a lot worse.”_

_A tense silence until Kíli responded, “People are dying....”_

_Kíli was silent and Fíli pulled gently his shoulder beckoning him to turn to face him, which he did._

_They both had changed over the course of this journey, Fíli could see that the playful spark in his brother's eyes had long since disappeared. He also consistently let his hair be more of a rats nest than he did before._

_Brave, daring, reckless, loyal and kind. Aye, that was his Kíli._

_“What is it?”_

_A small smile forced it's way upon his face, and his brother gave him a strange look._

_He brought his hands up to cup his brother's face, “Adad would be so proud of you Kíli.”_

_Kíli's eyes widened in surprise at his words._

_Fíli hardly ever spoke of Víli partially because he couldn't remember him very much, and Kíli at all._

_Hot tears trickled down his cheeks as he stared down at his older brother, his cerulean blue eyes so full of warmth that tried to hide his own sorrow._

_Biting his lip to try to force his tears back he felt Fíli wipe one off his face before smiling at him gently._

_“Aye, m'proud of you too. We'll get through this.”_

_A whimper escaped Kíli's lips and he grabbed Fíli and pulled him to his chest in a tight embrace. “Y-You.... you're such a sap!”_

_Fíli laughed heartily as he returned his embrace, staring at the viscous battle-field behind Kíli with troubled eyes._

_He could see Dáin and Thranduil riding through the fronts, hacking at Orcs left and right, yet the forces of darkness seemed to never end._

_When Kíli pulled away they both observed the scene silently, “I hope Bilbo is alright.” he finally spoke softly._

_Kíli nodded, “Aye, at first I was angry with that stunt, didn't take long for me to understand why he did it.”_

_“Aye.”_

_A loud squeal caught both of their attention, and their mouths dropped open in horror as they saw Dáin go tumbling off his boar._

_A growl tore free from Kíli's throat and he turned on his heel before storming down the stairs._

_“Kíli! Wait where are ye goin'?”_

_“T'speak with our beloved ed uncle Fíli!”_

_Fíli's eyes widened, “Wait no!”_

**~ XXX ~**

_“Kíli wait!! Kíli!!”_

_Ignoring his brother's protests all this way, Kíli threw the heavy wooden doors to the throne room open, his eyes flashing dangerously as they landed upon his king._

_“You!” he roared pointing an accusing finger at the older dwarrow who stared back at him._

_“What's the matter with you boy?”_

_Kíli stomped into the room with Fíli padding quietly behind him._

_“This is madness Thorin! We cannot win this war!!” he yelled furiously._

_Thorin rose from his throne and started pacing, he stopped abruptly and looked at Kíli as if he had the greatest idea in history._

_“Erebor has many defenses, like Dale there used to be a couple of wind-lances. They are still in the old armory.”_

_“Is gold really worth all these lives!”_

_Fíli decided to step in, “Kíli, stop-”_

_“Many die in war, you boys should know that as much as everyone.” the older dwarf spat coldly._

_Both of their mouth's dropped open in absolute shock at the words, understanding what Thorin was hinting at._

_Despite the trembling of his bottom lip, Kíli's eyes flashed with fury as he rushed forward.  
Fíli didn't have time to grab him either, he just watched in horror as his brother delivered a brutal punch to Thorin's face, his crown actually went flying off his head landing with a loud clatter upon the stone._

_“You're a monster! Who decided to take Frerin and him with you?!” Kíli screamed._

_Thorin regained his footing and glared viciously, a hand darted out and backhanded him across the face._

_“Speak to me of loss, you know nothing!”_

_Kíli lurched forward but this time Fíli grabbed him by the waist and pulled him back, his eyes were sparkling with tears he was deeply hurt by Thorin's words._

_“Fíli let me go!” Kíli yelled choking on a sob._

**~ End Flashback ~**

Kíli was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard his bedroom door open.

When he turned to look at it a wide smile beamed upon his face as playful deviousness sparkled in his eyes. 

“Mister Boggins!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Dragon Sickness Thorin!! Because we love what a right arse Thorin could be, yeah?
> 
> I kinda wanted a bit of a tender brother moment before the battle sort of thing. 
> 
> I tried and failed to kinda attempt to show some 'Fili wisdom' in that scene. It did not work. I tried. MORE PRACTICE TO THE GATES!!! 
> 
> ... then of course I had to put angst in it, because we all know I can't control myself.
> 
> Oh Kili, you're so cute. MISTER BOGGINS!!!!!!!! lol


	27. Chapter 27

Despite the irritation of the name Kíli often called him so playfully, it wasn't enough to prevent a smile from coming to the Hobbit's face. 

“Well you are certainly lively enough.” Bilbo spoke quietly, taking a sip of the tea that he'd brought in with him.

He received one of those goofy grins in response. 

Bilbo approached and sat in the chair next to the dwarf's bedside.

“I'd not known if you were still here.” Kíli replied with a big smile.

“Ah... well... yes, Thorin asked me to extend my stay for a bit longer... politely might I add.” 

Kíli laughed loudly, he was glad Bilbo decided to stay longer. He was really going to miss the small hobbit when he departed back to the Shire. 

Bilbo couldn't help but join in on the laughter, Kíli just had one of those contagious laughs... and the fact that it was true dwarves were so rude!

“Are our manners really that terrible?” the young dwarf asked.

Another wave of laughter erupted from the young prince when the hobbit just gaped at him for about seven seconds before throwing his arms up in frustration. “Manners?! What manners?!”

“Hahahahahah!!!! Ahahaha! Bilbo! Haha! I-It hurts!!! Heehehe Durin... Durin's beard!! Hahaha! It hurts!!” Kíli wheezed clutching his sides. 

Bilbo let out a huff, but he soon was just appreciative that he made the young dwarrow laugh. 

_'It seems like forever since I have heard him or Fíli laugh.'_ he thought to himself sadly.

Finally Kíli was able to settle down and when he finally did he looked at Bilbo curiously, “How come uncle requested that y'stay longer, even though m'glad he did. I thought ye were excited to get back home?”

The hobbit shifted nervously debating on whether or whether not he should reveal that part to the prince. 

“Oh... ah, well.... he thinks I might be able to help with Fíli.” 

Kíli jerked forward ready to sit up but Bilbo rushed to his side, “Ah, no... Fíli's okay, what Thorin meant was someone else your brother could talk to.”

He saw all the tension release from the dwarf's body as he breathed a sigh, he looked down at his lap going deep into thought.

The two sat in silence for a few minutes and Bilbo felt for the young prince. 

He knew Fíli's injury was to have an effect on everyone close to him but the look on Kíli's face right now, gave him the impression that it was going to be the hardest on him.

“Bilbo?” Kíli's tentative voice reached his ears. 

“Yes?” 

The young dwarf looked troubled. “Ye've seen him not that long ago?” 

“I have... he's very distressed right now I'm afraid. Though it seems Dwalin quells his temper quite well.” 

Kíli looked stunned at the words and a tense silence filled the air, Bilbo cleared his throat and raised the long since cold tea to his lips again.

Finally snapping out of his shock a grin lit up Kíli's face once more. “I knew it! They've finally done it have they?!”

The choice of Kíli's words and the images that the poor Hobbit still had fresh in his mind from earlier, caused tea to come flying out his mouth and nose some of it spraying onto the young dwarrow who whined 'heeeeey!' in aggravated protest.

Bilbo had both hands clamped over his nose, hot or not the liquid still burned his poor nostrils.

Finally once everything calmed Bilbo cleared his throat again, “I-I beg your pardon?” 

Kíli sat with a displeased pout upon his face. “They finally hook up? Fíli and Mister Dwalin? 've known for a long time that Fee's fancied 'im.”

“Ah... yes.... I mean... that is to say..... they... ah... if Thorin doesn't kill them first....” 

The bright red blush upon the hobbit's face gave much more away than Bilbo thought it would have.

“Wait.... Were they shagging!?!” 

Bilbo about fell out of his chair, “I uh... oh dear..... Kíli... might I ask if you know what that term mea-”

The dwarf let out a dignified snort, “Bilbo I've been around since before yer time... were they screwing?” 

This time the small hobbit did fall out of his chair fumbling over his words.

“Kíli! Why are you tormenting this poor innocent half-ling? Stop talking as such this instant.” Dís' voice chided from the doorway, gaining the attention of both of them. 

Bilbo could've sworn he saw Kíli's eyes grow three times their normal size... nope he saw right because the young dwarf turned them towards his mother.

_'Puppy eyes of decpit'_ the hobbit thought quietly as he took another sip of tea.

The dwarrowdam crossed her arms at the giant puppy eyes that were directed at her, looking very unimpressed. “Boy, ye quit that.” 

Kíli laughed heartily “Aw! Come on!” 

She let out a sigh as she entered the room. “Though, to answer your question, aye it does appear that yer brother and Dwalin are tryin' to work something out.” 

Bilbo cleared his throat awkwardly, and grumbled a low “Trying to.” under his breath.

A smile came to Dís' face at that, “Aye, Thorin's going to make things a little difficult he is, especially after that stunt they pulled.” 

The playful spark suddenly disappeared from her eyes and a distant troubled look replaced it. “And Fíli's attitude....”

“What happened?” Kíli asked quickly, concern saturating his features immediately.

“Oh, yer brother thought it wise to disobey Thorin's orders t'come to the throne room with Dwalin. When yer uncle and Bilbo went ta see what was holding em up e'walked in on Fíli and Dwalin - “ 

Dís cut herself off when she saw the poor half-ling's face, beat red and sweating. 

She gave the smaller man a pat on the shoulder and smiled before turning to her son. “Ye get the message, love.” 

Kíli's mouth dropped open and a few seconds later he started laughing so hard that tears watered in his eyes.

“Thorin must've been pissed!” 

That distant look came back to Dís' eyes, “Aye... that he was.” 

His laughter ceased immediately, “Mum, is something else the matter?” 

Bilbo shifted nervously, “Well you see... Fíli is – oh... ah... Tauriel?” 

The two dwarves looked to the new presence that they hadn't even heard come in, the tall red haired elf-maiden stood silently in the hall almost questioning if she she should come in or not.

A grin broke out upon Kíli's face, “Tauriel!” 

“I hope I am not interrupting.” she spoke with a gentle smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! Hey that rhymed!! I love you guys!


	28. Chapter 28

Dís couldn't help but stare at the elven woman. 

She was tall of course, like most elves. Though she had to admit she hadn't come across many an elf with fiery red hair like she. 

Dressed in green with her bow and quiver on her back, she stood there with a kind face.

_'Is this the elf that Thorin mentioned Kíli seemed to have fallen for?'_

“No, not at all.” Kíli chirped, letting out a small involuntary whimper as he tried to sit up by himself. 

The pained whine earned him the sharp eyes of his stern mother.

“And what in maker's name, do ye think yer doing?” 

Slinking back down into the bed the dwarfling averted his eyes, “Nothin'.” 

“That hip needs t'heal. Ye stay put mister.” 

The young dwarf opened his mouth to respond, but suddenly lost his words and stared blankly at his mother. 

“Did you hear me?” 

When Kíli remained silent the dwarrowdam started to become concerned, “Kíli, love what's the matter?”

“Mom… what happened to your face?” 

A tense silence filled the air and no one spoke for several minutes, until Dís turned to the silvan elf. 

“Ye are the one who saved my boy's life?” 

Tauriel smiled softly before she responded, “I am. You are Kíli's mother?”

“Aye, Dís son of Thrain, son of Thor.” 

“An honor my lady.” 

“The pleasure is mine. At least someone was able to keep an eye on this one for the most part.”

Kíli's head snapped in her direction, “Oy!” 

A hearty laugh came from the dwarrow woman's throat, “I'll leave you two alone.” 

The pout remained upon the young dwarf's face until his mother couldn't be seen anymore, then a goofy grin spread across his face.

“So how have you been?”

**~ XXX ~**

As Dís stormed down the candle lit corridors she knew exactly what she had to say to a certain brother of hers.

She still couldn't believe that Thorin actually tried to strike her Fíli.

It wasn't like he had never struck the boys before he had after all helped raise the lads, so of course he would help discipline them from time to time, though very rarely she preferred to do it herself.

She'd known for a very long time that her son had become quite fond of Dwalin and that had made her quite nervous.

Not that she didn't approve, she did whole-heartedly. Dwalin was a very well respected dwarf. Loyal, courageous, strict, tactical and dare she say it compassionate. Even if he tried to hide it.

The part that made her nervous was Thorin, and this was exactly why.

When she saw Dwalin and her son together she was shocked that's for sure, but she felt a wave of relief and joy because she could see that her son was no doubt very happy with his feeling being accepted and to find out they were also shared. 

Thorin had absolutely no right to react the way that he did when he walked in on Fíli and Dwalin, however he had every right to strike at the boy for how he spoke to him, she wouldn't deny that. 

If the circumstances would have been different, she wouldn't have defended her son as she did, but given his condition… that alone should have made Thorin think twice.

Clearly it did not. 

With his injuries still healing and the fact that he wasn't yet adapted to his blindness, Fíli would have had no way to sense a blow coming.

Was it not her older brother who taught her never to attack a helpless opponent, she did believe it was.

So why in Durin's name Thorin struck out at Fíli in a blind rage was beyond her.

When Dís reached the doors to the throne room she slammed both of them open making the heavy wood hit the walls with a loud bang. 

Thorin stood abruptly having been startled, but when he saw who it was he hesitantly lowered himself back into his chair.

The rage in his sister's eyes was absolutely terrifying, but the black and blue that surrounded the lower part of her left eye, cheek, and jaw line was even more so.

_'Did I really strike her that hard?'_

He felt absolutely sick.

Her booted feet clambered across the stone floor as she approached and he tried to steel his expression. 

Finally she stopped right before him, her shorter body was trembling with pent up rage. 

“I'm sorry...”

Just the sound of her brother's voice made her lose it, and the blow that she delivered to his face was an action she knew she would never regret. 

Thorin rose to his feet to get ready to defend himself only to be confused when she turned around and walked away from him only to stop about five feet away.

She refused to look at him keeping her back turned, he watched as she folded her arms over her chest.

“Dís?” 

When she still didn't acknowledge him he took a deep breath and decided to approach her as her shoulders started to tremble.

“H-How could you?” 

“I'm sorry I lost my-”

“Ye lost your temper? Aye, I know that already!” 

Thorin didn't respond, he didn't' really know what he was supposed to say.

“I sent my boys on this quest with you, entrusted you to keep them safe! My oldest son has been blinded! He hasn't been able to learn to adapt to it yet and you struck at him Thorin! He's hurtin and e's clearly having difficulty accepting what he's been through!”

“Dís-”

“Was it not you who taught me never to strike at a helpless indivisual?!”

A lump formed in Thorin's throat, he knew she was right.

When he didnt' respond, she spun around and stared him down with angry eyes glassy with tears that spilled from her tear ducts.

“Answer me!” 

“A-Aye…. It was.” 

“Then how could you attack him in this state!?”

“I was angry...”

“Oh you were angry, never mind that makes it okay doesn't it?” she spat, sarcasm heavy amongst her emotional voice.

“No… no it doesn't.”

“Durin's beard it doesn't! Now ye are going to go find Fíli AND Dwalin and you are going to give them your blessing!” 

Thorin opened his mouth to reply but she beat him to it.

“Yes you will, because Durin be damned if you deny him something he's been dreaming of for years!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lateness! <3


End file.
